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You may sometimes hear a little voice that tells you that you don’t need to use that much butter but I am here to tell you that that voice is the grim specter of the late Dr Kellogg and you should banish that demon immediately with even more butter. This is my solemn magical advice.

Tis always a magic not all can grasp.

GOD I LOVE ABUSING SLEEPING MAGIC. CURSE OF NAPTIME!

Listen! You can defeat sleeping magic if you use Chronomancy! Don't forget Chronomancy!

Oh I see the old shop is what arrived. Time can be rather odd on occasion. All the same I would like to buy 3 cups of salt.

Oh I see the old shop is what arrived. Time can be rather odd on occasion. All the same I would like to buy 3 cups of salt.

Why do we, as wizards, don't talk about guns? We should all, collectively, talk about guns more.

Useless weapon when I can cast rubberball before they even draw it.

Who’s?

In an effort to “give back to the community” as my PR manager urges me to do, I have planted over 5 thousand trees across wizard island island. What kinds of trees? Don’t worry about it. They will all be fully grown within the hour.

You ever wish you could have instant potions? Like I spend hours every day making potions, chronomancy doesn’t work, the potions come out wrong. Any ideas?

Have you tried an air fryer? I heard it is quite effective for cooking!

Made…. Potion… work faster…. more potent…. Potion of haste… too haste… headache………

Some sassy little shadow spirit decided to take an occupancy in my bathroom mirror and has been critiquing me every time I try to put on makeup. I try to blast the little shit, but they just reflect it back at me because they’re in a fucking mirror.

What if the rocks growing inside your head planted by an evil wizard 5 years ago were made into a set of earrings would that be fucked up or what

I think it would hurt!

I do both quite often for many a reason.