The Goth Granny

4.19.20

Another day at work and I couldn't be more thrilled with having a few days respite from all the health issues that have really been affecting me lately. I even got a bonus check from work! Yay!

My eating has been mostly consistent. Intermediate fasting seems to actually be working for me, which is surprising to say the least. I haven't weighed myself yet or anything but it's only been maybe 8 or so days of doing it consistently. It would only be water weight and I can't concern myself with that.

I've also been reading almost everyday again. I'm so happy with that! Having a child really put a stopper on a lot of things I used to do on a daily basis lol. The daily chore up keep though is kind of a struggle for me. I'm still trying but to find the energy to do it is almost impossible.

Things have been decent.

I worked for a whole 2 days. 10 hour shifts each. And I feel so happy! I love my job and I'm glad my health didn't affect my work again. Yay.

I've been cleaning more recently and trying to get back into the habit of not just caring for myself on a base level. But also my home. Doing chores I've been neglecting. Things are a little clearer now. My home is way cleaner and my mind finds it easier to keep a coherent thought.

I've also been bullet journaling and that's been super nice. I really do enjoy it and it keeps me busy. Helps me keep track of everything I want to keep track of. Love it.

I've also been intermediate fasting. 16:8. And I think some water weight has left.

Things haven't been going well. My health has gotten in the way of my work. My stress, anxiety and depression have been taking over. I feel like I'm falling into this rabbit hole and it may be a while before I see the light of day again.

My eating disorder is starting to get a little more unwieldy. But I'm trying to combat it with healthy habits and thoughts. I want to do this the right way.

I'm terrified that I'll be fired if I take anymore time off. That my clients will suffer if i take more time off. I love my job. I love getting out of the house. This isn't what I want.

We have no idea what's wrong with me. Even after all the tests and retesting and more testing. No idea. No fucking idea.

Not sure if I'm living for these curls. I used overnight foam rollers with a little product and still. Meh🤷🏻‍♀️

I feel like even if my technique was worse yesterday the results were better. Idk..

I've made myself a list.of Achievable new years resolutions.

All things that are within reach in the next 12 months.

Nothing hard like "I'm gonna lose 75 lbs!" Or "I'm gonna learn a a whole new language every 4 months!"

Easy things that I should already be doing. Like drinking more water a day or learning to communicate with my hubby more.