pure of heart & dumb of ass; no gender, only love

Being an adult will have you unironically craving a vegetable

"Whimsy" is truly a wretched term. What maketh thee so carefree?

thy mother

Art thou for fucking real

"dont feed the trolls" is an even more important rule in an age where that troll is likely to be a chatbot trained on bad politics crawling tags specifically to waste ur time. do not engage

party games as a genre are doomed to fail until we standardize a guest pass system for online play. Imagine if you were playing a board game irl and everyone who wanted in had to buy their own copy. That's ridiculous. The genre peaked when couch co-op was still supreme and now Dokapon Kingdom has been on steam for years but it doesn't matter cuz it's like $40 a person or some shit and nobody wants to do that

partially-managed mental illness is so fucking funny i'll be sitting around doing my job and suddenly think "wow i hate myself" and immediately get confused because, like, that's not TRUE! i love myself so much. who are you to talk to me like that

Sci-fi movies from the 50s-70s are so hilarious because they’ll genuinely have some of the most progressive, ahead of their time ideas, but women can NOT wear pants

adults love seeing a small child or teenager who is so visibly anxious and uncertain of themselves and quiet so they can tell them "HEY!! 👹 YOU BETTER GET SOME CONFIDENCE RIGHT NOW! 🗣 AND SPEAK UP! 🤬 YEAH YOU! 👊 SHY KID 💥 EVERYONE LOOK AT THIS SHY KID 👈 WHO I'M GOING TO FIX 🙏 WITH THE POWER OF LOUD !!! 😤 YOU'D BEST BELIEVE IT! 😱 NOW SHOUT, SHY KID!!! 🤯 SHOUT AT ME!!! 👽 HUUAAHH&HHH 🗯 NOW TEAR ASUNDER THE HUSK OF YOUR FORMER SELF ☠️ YEAH RIGHT NOW 👇 WHY DON'T YOU FEEL CONFIDENT 💣 I AM GIVING YOU THE CURE" and the shy kid has to pretend like this isn't the millionth time they've had this exact conversation

its crazy how using your chosen name & pronouns feels so Not Allowed when youre used to having to use your legal name for everything. like all i do is go to work and go to doctors so writing an artist bio using my correct information is like, Is This Allowed?? Is This Allowed??? it straight up feels like being an unsupervised kid eating gummy worms for breakfast & waiting for someone to come tell you to knock it off

28 year old tumblr users will look at you and say do you remember thwomp day of 2013 when everyone was posting thwomp from mario 64 in different audio

You Are Not Immune To fanart of characters who die in canon that has them alive and well, with scars from the wound that originally killed them