Finding My Way Back

Excuse all the highlighted areas, but my worth as a human being should not be based off of if I'm walking "normally" this is a conversation between B and myself that actually still bothers me. How could I only passively stand up for myself? What if I failed at walking better? What if I needed another surgery? What if I got to a point where I could no longer walk?

None of that makes me any less of a person. None of that should make me less deserving of love, of sexy time, or of friendship or really anything.

I weighted myself today and the number looking back at me was sickening.

91.2LBS

That's the lowest that I've been in a long time. I feel like I've fallen back into my eating disorder without realizing it- depression at one point in my life took away my will to eat. How do I gain weight when I'm allergic to most carbs? I need to start meal prepping so that I'll eat.

All I can do right now is apologize to my body.

My boyfriend is something else y'all. This man has much bigger worries and things going on right now, yet he still manages to be my biggest supporter. I love him so much.