Heaven Sent.

the sexual tension between me & the alternate reality I daydream about

Reblog to actually save a life

Reblogging, because this is so important. When I was learning how to cook for myself in my tweens, I had at least a five years of fire safety seminars from school drilling this into my head, and I STILL had that instinctive put-the-fire-out-with-water reflex. Didn’t even think. I saw our oily burner catch fire after frying eggs, whipped around towards the sink for water, and my brain immediately screamed NO!!! NO WATER! I mean that fire safety stuff straight up bitchslapped me out of REFLEXIVELY setting my house on fire. I found a pot lid and inched it over the burner before turning off the heat. Even if you think you know this stuff, panic is powerful shit. Make knowledge more powerful.

“Even if you think you know this stuff, panic is powerful shit. Make knowledge more powerful.”

they should invent a brain that doesn’t make me jump to conclusions and get anxious over the smallest things

“you are a lawyer and he is a hamster” is one of the funniest statements ive ever had the pleasure of reading

AUTO REBLOG