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@thatsjustbrittney
This job kills me but I love my young adults 😭

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大河内山荘/新緑 Okouchi Sanso Villa/Fresh Leaves
BEYONCÉ JAŸ-Z30 in New York City (July 12th 2026)

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I feel defeated. I need to leave UTEC. I can't keep hearing these traumatic experiences that trigger my own shit every. fucking. day. Like wtf is wrong with ppl? We're supposed to be here to protect these young adults and to create a safe space. You as a youth worker are on some creepy trafficking shit??????? I NEED to get my LICSW. It's my token out of UTEC. I know its why my test anxiety is on 100000000000000000000000 more then usual. Or at least I should say now I know. I think somehow I forgot because instead of things being a landfill on fire, as of recent its only been dumpsters on fire. And honestly that may not even be the case. I've lost all sense of my 'not bad' to terrible scale.
My heart just can't take this shit anymore. I'm already struggling with my foreshortened future that has me viewing this exam as the last of my days. Dating is something that's not even on the table because I won't be "alive to see it", then add on that anything I hear in reference to men lately has been rapey, physically/mentally abusive, and overall draining? Yea no.
I was having such a good day today (well better then the last few days), I was going to finish off my LICSW exam book. 10 pages away. And then I get the call from Elena & Tamara.
I emailed Paula, I even tried calling the on call clinician. The first time it didn't go through, and the second time it went to voicemail. I took that as a sign that I wasn't supposed to talk to whoever was on call.
I'm over it. Life as a whole I'm over it. & I know foreshortened future blah, blah, blah. But honestly, it sounds better then how I feel rn. I'm tired. I'm just so tired.
Eartha Kitt performing in Las Vegas, Nevada, in 1955
— Time passing isn’t an apology. (via letsbelonelytogetherr)

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