Randy

why did god make nausea

life is worth living! everything is wonderful! god bless sleep and rice and chicken noodle soup and gatorade and family and friends!! i’ve been renewed!!

sleeping is the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off

Everything is fake and gay

the reason usa birth rates going down is because we have a whole generation of women whose sexual awakening was Sans undertale and none of the men want to wear jorts and drink ketchup and go Er er er

therapypilled deadbeat father: I really don't have the headspace for custody right now

woke deadbeat father: i'm just going to get some oat milk

If you remember being a teenager you're a creep because you straight up saw yourself naked back then. The only way to be righteous is to obliterate your mind with drugs until you can't remember anything

duuuuuude you have GOT to come out tonight we're enacting cruelty upon those who have transgressed so badly that we can justify any act against them... and you KNOW we're interpreting our delight as moral righteousness... Yeah it's fucking crazyyyyyyy get an Uber

just saw a "only one bed" fic with the major character death warning