Fire Lizard

I remember it happened once in a grocery store while I was shopping with the guy I was dating at the time. We got up to the check out counter and I looked up at the clerk and my brain just shut off when I saw her. It was interesting too, because she wasn't like stereotypically hot like a super model, just a girl my age with acne on her cheeks in a grocery store uniform. But to me she was the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen. I kept looking at the ground and felt my cheeks heat up. Before I left the counter I mumbled out a very shy but earnest "You're really pretty" and started walking out. The at the time boyfriend had seen the exchanged and started teasing me, going "What was that?". I was so embarrassed.

Out of my siblings, I'm the one who looks most like him. His eyes, his hair, his dimples. I have hands more like his, I'm shorter than my mother and siblings.

Like, sure, my siblings and I all look similar. But it's me who reflects him the most. Because I also seem to be the one who is most angry. The one who tends to lash out. I've gotten so much better over the years at handling it, but the rage I feel inside burns.

I hate it. I hate him. I hate what he did to us. I worry that the blood I have will make me like him. And I never want to be like him.

Older honorable man, who has spent his life putting the needs of others above his own. Didn't have the chance to have a family, even though he always wanted one. He is of course a sopping wet sad man. Devoted now to someone who he's finally able to share love with, maybe for the first time.

Breeding kink is appreciated. Knight symbology or just being one straight up is what makes it go from good to great. Bonus points if Large.

They are a mixture I should learn to recognize better. Those bitches are just the harbingers for my period.

Did they not believe it happened? Refused to? Or did they know and chose to keep us with a man they knew would harm us in terrible ways?

Sometimes I don't know how I feel about them. I feel like raging, wishing I could know the answer to Why they let it happen. They're dead now. But I wish I knew why.

One time I was on the topic of if I was an aunt, and I learned my nieces/nephews were being abused, fuck yes I would intervene. I don't care if the adult is family or if it would cause issues or make the family look bad. The person I talked with said it wouldn't be any of my business. Fuck that, if I have the capacity to prevent a child from feeling what I did, I'd do it.

It's been a rough couple of years, and upon seeing the man in person, I thought to myself that sleeping with him (repeatedly) could fix me.

One might think that was the mental illness talking. Another might think it a challenge. Perhaps the sin of Lust was paying me a visit. But imagine my surprise when it worked.