hi

So, I'm dying. I'm terminal

I made peanut butter bars and I feel like I'm an adult

I hate GERD

I've had lung surgery three times (THREE FUCKING TIMES) and I'll probably have to have another one. But at least I have my pain team so I actually feel like my pain is under control

FUCK, here we go again

Guess who's painting little hearts on their nails today 💅

Do I paint my nails for Valentine's Day or do I prepare to have a chest tube?

And here I am still not knowing if I'm having someone cut me open on Wednesday or not. My Dr should have personally gotten back to me instead of me having to call the communication coordinator for any news (of which, there was none) I feel a bit forgotten about and discarded

I do kinda feel like my life is falling apart a little because everything (like my whole existence practically) has been up in the air since Thursday. Hopefully I will be getting a call from the clinic today to know more but I feel so lost right now

I could be having lung surgery on Wednesday or I could be notified that I have cancer in a muscle in my back... What is happening??

Feeling good so far on this new antibiotic, I'm hesitant to be excited about it

Wait omg it's not as bad as I thought. I mean- I do have c diff BUT no more vancomycin which was really what I was scared of

Fuck