that mama blog

When you’re tired, you sleep and you will wake up refreshed.

When you’re fatigued, you are exhausted, but you can’t sleep. You are weak, often too weak to walk, or perform simple tasks. You’re restless and listless, but you don’t have the energy to do anything. You can’t concentrate and your thoughts are all over the place. Sometimes it’s accompanied by widespread pain. When you’re fatigued, sleep will not make you feel better. When you’re fatigued, nothing makes you feel better.

I need to talk about this scene because it’s so different from the typical way pep talks go. 

Moana has just suffered a tremendous defeat and been abandoned by Maui, her demi-god ally. She’s understandably upset- the heart of Te Fiti has to be restored or decay will consume her island. And yet she’s just one teenage girl on a damaged canoe- how is she supposed to face down Te Ka, actual vengeful Lava monster? 

Her fairy godmother grandmother’s spirit doesn’t come in with a magical fix, insist her doubts are baseless and/or bluster that she should just get on with the impossible. She comforts her and tells her it was too big a task to expect of her (all true!) and then tells her it’s okay to give up, that she will be there with unconditional support to help her go home, no guilt or shame. 

THIS. NEVER. HAPPENS. IN. STORIES.

And it should. “Encouragement” is so often a lot like bullying in narratives, even towards characters that are children. “I know you have it in you (even though you were just soundly beaten)! Now get back out there (even though you’re miserable)!” 

Instead, Gramma waits until Moana herself realizes that she’s not ready to give up, through self reflection. She wasn’t there to insist that Moana “suck it up”, but simply to “remind [her] that come what may, [she] know[s] the way”.