
if i look back, i am lost
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@thatbrownfangirl

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The Colbert Report 11.19.14
You see how she explained how race is a social construct (it is) while ALSO SAYING THAT RACISM EXISTS AND IS FUCKED UP? You see how she did that? Donāt mistake this for colorblindness because it clearly isnāt.
Toni Morrison breaks it down.Ā
T with Toni āļø
I have a friend who is fluent in French, Spanish, and English, but she didnāt want to learn a new language during high school so she took French and pretended she didnāt know it. Long story short, her first year didnāt count because the principal found out so he made her take Spanish and when I walked her to Spanish on the first day, she walked in and said, āHoe-La uh-me-goats!ā And personally I believe she might pull this off
Update: after two weeks of pulling it off, the teacher asked her to read something in Spanish and she forgot that she was supposed to sound inexperienced, so she read the whole thing in perfect Spanish. Her counselor is now considering transferring her to German
Gargoyles bedeck the walls to ward off evil spirits. This gargoyle is doing a good job.

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when youre all chillin at a friends house and their mom starts yellin at them
āOh my God! Iām dying Iām dead.ā āAHAHAHAAHAHA IāM DEAD!!!ā
Niall Horan pledges support to Team Europe ahead of Ryder Cup
#it goes from ānice romantic dinnerā toĀ āfuck on the tableā real fast

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Donāt tell your daughter that when a boy is mean or rude to her itās because he has a crush on her. Donāt teach her that abuse is a sign of love.
My mom always taught me yell or fight back. Boys would be mean and I would yell back. I would get my ass pinched and I would smack them as hard as I could.
Who alway got in trouble? Me.
They would call my mother and she always came in and lectures my teachers and threatened to sue for making her miss work and treating me poorly.
She always taught my brothers to respect women. The only fights my brothers ever got in was defending women from someone else.
The school tried to call my father once instead of my mother on us. He came in in his full preacher outfit (being a preacher and all) and gave them an entire sermon on what would Jesus day of he was called in. They decided dealing with my mom was better.
I think my favorite story of this is when some kid snapped my bra and I turned around, didnāt even think about it, and punched that little motherfucker right in the nose.
So naturally, I end up in the principalās office, refusing to apologize.Ā
āHe shouldnāt have put his hands on me and I wouldnāt have hit him!ā Thatās the only thing I was saying.
These people had the unfortunate luck of catching my dad at home, instead of my mom. So he comes fucking sauntering in there, like heās Clint fucking Eastwood in some western movie and looks at me.Ā
āMelissa, did you punch him?āĀ
āYes.ā I said.Ā
āWhy?āĀ
āBecause he snapped my bra strap.āĀ
And he turns his squinty eyed glare to the principal and says,Ā āYouāre telling me my daughter is in trouble because that squirrely looking kid put his hands on her and she chose to defend herself? Thatās what you are saying to me.āĀ
āWell, sir-ā The man kind of stuttered because my dad is kind of intimidating in the quiet sort of way that kind of whispers in the back of your mind that this person could be dangerous. āMelissa did make it physical.āĀ
āNo. That kid put his hands on my daughter. Are you saying my daughter cannot defend herself when some boy decides to put hands on her? Is that what you are teaching my girl?āĀ
I didnāt get suspended that day. Ā
youāre someoneās dream person
can that bitch wake up and come talk to me then
the spell can only be broken by true loveās high-five

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really? EVERYBODY was kung fu fighting? i find that hard to believe. stop feeding me these lies
Well it was really hard to see if it was everyone, you see they were as fast as lightning.
And to be honest it was a little bit frightening.
me: better check my phone for texts from friends me: *checks phone* me: better get some friends