thatbeachblonde

Everyone’s asleep.

Phones dark,

feeds quiet,

And here I am,

scrolling past recycled memes

and strangers with perfect lives,

looking for someone or something.

It’s not heartbreak.

Not missing anyone specific.

Just missing someone.

Missing being seen

in real-time.

Some proof that I exist

outside my own mind.

Like I’m a background character

in a movie everyone else fell asleep watching.

Like I’m too awake for dreams,

but too tired for meaning.

I want to say

Hey, you up?

to the universe.

To God,

To the void.

To someone

who won’t mind

that I don’t have anything

to say

I just don’t want to say it alone.

I’m surrounded by walls,

wrapped in blankets,

held by nothing.

The silence isn’t peaceful tonight,

it’s violent.

It presses in like water

filling up my lungs

slowly

so no one hears the drowning.

But maybe this is just a phase.

Maybe tomorrow I’ll laugh.

Maybe I’ll forget

how loud

loneliness can be

when it wears pajamas

and no one checks in.

But for now

it’s 1:47 AM.

And I just need

someone

to know

I’m still here.

Still breathing.

Still checking my phone

like maybe the universe

texted back.