ThatAndyDavisFellow

It’s been many years since I’ve been into a second hand bookshop, but this feels really, really believable as shelf labelling. Just the most idiosyncratic places in the world.

There's a kindergarten near my house and a sometimes they play this cleaning up song at an absurd volume so I'm sitting inside and can hear "pick it up! Pick it up!" and every time I think "that's not a bad idea actually" and obey the cleaning song.

clearly some of you have not been to the labyrinth of pestilence deep beneath kentucky

alright so when I was a teenager I went to this bug-themed summer camp for socially stunted nerds and on the way back from it I visited the university of kentucky. I met with an entomologist there and while we were touring the department he asked "wanna see something cool?" so he took me down an elevator to what must've been a sub-sub-sub basement on a card-access only floor, and after turning several more corners we went through two sets of (I'm not even exaggerating) 12-inch thick doors, opening onto one long as fuck corridor. each side of this hallway was lined with about 50 refrigerators. and each and every single one of these refrigerators was filled with hundreds of thousands. of live. bedbugs. the very reasonable explanation for this was that they were doing research on insecticides and needed to test them on real samples, but they could not under any circumstances allow them to escape, so they had to be kept under area 51 levels of overkill containment. but reasonable or not that was very much not what I anticipated seeing that day. so yeah. I decided after that I did not want to become an entomologist

absolutely baffled to get to the end of that story and hear you decide NOT to be an entomologist but possibly that's the entomologist in me speaking

as this breaches containment it is vital to me that The People know my problem with the bedbug labyrinth was NOT the bedbugs. that was obviously sick as fuck. the problem was it dawning on me how much entomology research is anti-bug instead of pro bug. weird girl equivalent of realizing how much time veterinarians spend putting down dogs

@/teaboot

This isn't even a joke it's just what we do

the number one lesson that toddler parenting is teaching me is the power of adjusting your attitude so you can get silly. if I am in a bad mood or at the end of my rope patience-wise my toddler senses this IMMEDIATELY and actively turns every single interaction into a protracted power struggle. but if i can take a second to gather myself and marshal juuust enough strength to do a goofy little bit or even just make a silly face he is sooo so delighted and can usually be easily persuaded to do whatever he was resisting two seconds earlier. tonight he was testing meeeeeeeeee oh my god WHY must everything be a battle and then I invented a game called BOOM where I swing him around and drop him on the nearest cushioned surface and this game was such a wild hit that we did our entire bedtime routine in five min just by trading bedtime tasks for one (1) boom. and then he was in such a silly happy mood it put me in a better mood and now I don’t feel as exhausted. idk it does take some effort to rally when you’re not feeling inclined to be silly but then it consistently saves soooo much time/energy in the rest of your interactions I think it’s worth it. plus it’s crazy how much goofing off with somebody for a few minutes resets your nervous system.

just saw a pigeon doing the puffed up courtship dance thing to another pigeon, and as he was strutting around he suddenly stopped for a split second to do a very brief preen-peck at his own side, then returned to the strutting around. and i surprised myself by instantly losing respect for the male pigeon in that moment, like come on man i appreciate you had an itch or whatever but how is she supposed to feel special when you're getting distracted by bullshit like that? which on reflection i don't endorse, i mean those are pretty harsh dating norms i'm imposing on these pigeons, from a total outsider perspective, for no reason. probably not all girl pigeons are as uptight about that sort of thing as i would apparently be if i was a girl pigeon, maybe she even found it endearing who knows, i don't know her. it's none of my business really. sorry pigeons.

The UK’s Crown Prosecution Service have gotten far more wholesome than I remember. How lovely.

Get so fucking real, the princess is not unbuckling the knights armor. The knights squire is going to unbuckle the knights armor and the princess is simply going to wait in her chambers for it to be done. You're mistaken if you think the princess is going to touch your field armor.

I think, some days, of a post I saw on livejournal - if not before - that used a trick of paragraphs to fool you to thinking it was just a post, but sadly, you're already toast, for it's, in fact, a verse of hallelujah.