(she/they pronouns only)
[commissions open]
i write things and draw stuff.
this blog is a multifandom mess. mostly shakarian. header by @milkywayes.
AO3 | ko-fi | art blog | writing blog
Crossing A Line - First Contact War Shakarian AU: Garrus finds a wounded human soldier and tries to nurse her back to health.
Behind Closed Doors - sequel to Crossing A Line. Shepard and Garrus being a couple for 27 chapters straight. There’s an overarching plot, but it’s mostly fluff.
Edge of Yesterday - Shepard survives after ME3 but her memories since Cerberus revived her are gone. And Garrus is still in love with her.
Tomorrow's Light - a kinda-sorta sequel to Edge of Yesterday; a longform take on post-canon domestic Shakarian still struggling with their trauma.
one-shots:
Snipers - Shepard watches Garrus sleep and realises how much he trusts her.
Lullaby - Shepard can’t sleep, so Garrus decides to abandon all of his dignity and sing her a lullaby.
Beauty is Merciless - after getting the missile, Garrus realizes he's not pretty anymore.
i’ve been looking for incredibles, the meanings of unbelievable - Shepard has trauma responses and accidentally punches Garrus during a panic attack.
i even hope for tragedies (if it goes with the thrill) - Shepard throws herself into danger with little regard for her safety. Garrus notices. Takes place almost immediately after the end of ME2, when their relationship is very new and they’re still figuring it out.
but then you were standing in front of my door - Shepard and Garrus get stuck on an empty ship, without their translators. There is a universal language, but Shepard doesn’t know it very well… (this was originally a vent fic)
with every piece in your hand that i could ask for - Garrus looking back on his relationship with Shepard over the course of the trilogy, completely smitten, as he is with her.
Breathe - They’re in love and they’re okay crying in front of each other. Also Garrus is obsessed with human hair.
Respite - Garrus takes Shep out on a dinner date. Very lighthearted fluff.
and my name was beautiful when you said it - Garrus noticing all the ways Shepard addresses him across the years.
Battle Scars - Shepard and Garrus go into a scar-comparing contest. Hurt/Comfort.
★Big Spoon/Little Spoon AKA “the Spooning As A Metaphor For Nationality Issues fanfic”. Hurt/Comfort, with some psychological delve into the Spacer background. Also spooning is hard when you’re so physically different.
Forever - Shakarian get married instead of the Citadel DLC.
New Dreams Are Born - Shepard survives the war, and Garrus finally lets himself hope for a future with her.
Heat Waves - the AC is broken and as it turns out, humans aren’t that great at handling hot temperatures. Fluff and humor.
★Caught in a Neverending Game - Years after the war, Shepard doesn't cope too well with her fame. Garrus is there to help.
Seems Like This World's Still Trying To Tame Me - After coming back from the dead, Shepard struggles with depression. Garrus gives her some tea and, more importantly, a hug.
★Beautifully Struggle Every Day - Post-canon domestic!Shakarian one-shot, in which they both have PTSD but are also very much in love.
As The World Turns - my first work in the Mass Effect fandom. I just jotted down some thoughts I had about their very platonic and completely professional relationship. Includes Shepard trusting Garrus more than anyone else in the world, even herself.
For The Cause - Garrus is not a good turian. Or at least he wasn't until he met Shepard.
boyfriend - Humans are weird, and human relationships are even weirder; Garrus slowly learning the differences between being Shepard's friend and her boyfriend.
Casual - Soulmate AU, where Garrus finds out Shepard is his soulmate in a very awkward way.
★while seeing both of our hourglasses - dying together is romantic, right? And dying together while holding hands has got to be extra romantic.
[fluffuary 2022] First I Love You - in which Shepard blurts out "I love you" on Menae.
[fluffuary 2022] Napping Together - Shepard and Garrus are perpetually tired, which concerns and confuses the crew.
[fluffuary 2022] Cooking Together - post-canon. Shep and Garrus take a cooking course for dextro/levo couples.
[fluffuary 2022] Compliments - Shep is Very Bad at giving compliments.
[fluffuary 2022] Acts of Devotion - confused by the way Garrus has been acting, Shepard asks Victus if turians can purr.
[fluffuary 2022] Soothing Touch - Garrus is not okay after the Cerberus attack on the Citadel.
my duty to keep - Garrus ponders on what it's like being the main character's love interest.
I'll keep every part of you - Garrus gets badly wounded during a mission. Shepard blames herself.
On a monotonous August morn' - a day in the life of happily married very cuddly Shakarian, years after the war. Plotless fluff.
★in a summer morning - long after the Reapers are defeated, after years of military service and political delegations, Shepard comes back to Earth to be with Garrus.
Home - a look on how the Shakarian household changes over time along with their relationship.
Here With You - Shepard and Garrus go to an interspecies club for date night. Spoiler: Garrus gets hit on a lot.
★Walking Back To You - post-war, Shepard worries that she and Garrus might be drifting away.
to know you (as hardly golden) - Shepard asks Garrus if he attended her funeral. Hurt Comfort.
i wanna see you dance again - Shepard and Garrus slow dancing in the kitchen at 2AM and sitting on the porch watching a thunderstorm. That's it, that's the fic.
Black And White, Shadow And Light - a small relationship study on what if they were actually opposites in literally everything.
★Patience is Sorrow's Salve - post-canon. Garrus is hesitant to have sex with Shepard after she's released from the hospital. angst ensues.
★Love is an Echo - Shepard listens to Garrus's heartbeat.
Since You Appeared - Garrus pining for Shepard over the first two games. a lot.
In The End - three times Shepard said goodbye and one time Garrus said hello.
Happiness Is A Warm Blanket - during the war, when Garrus gets overwhelmed, he tends to burrow under a blanket.
(you show me) how to be whole again - bleeding out and dying, Shepard holds on to the only memory she has left - Garrus.
★Tasting Rust - Shepard and Garrus washing blood off each other. It's got a sort of raw tenderness to it.
Stake Me Out Tonight - Shep and Garrus on a stakeout together during ME2, before they get together. A lot of unresolved sexual and romantic tension.
★Valediction - Garrus is high on stims, sleep deprivation, grief, and god knows what else, so when he sees Shepard on Omega, he assumes he's dying and she's his guide to the afterlife.
Stabbed With A Star - [18+] Shepard and Garrus have time, for the first time ever, to explore some of their fantasies. Garrus is still self-conscious about his role in the relationship.
Anchor - Shepard has a panic attack when Garrus isn't there to calm her down. He finds her in the aftermath for some hurt/comfort.
Have you heard about Castis Vakarian's son? - sometimes even turians gossip. Especially when you're different. Outsider POV on Castis Vakarian's weird son. Experimental format.
Sentinel - Shepard and Garrus are stuck on an ice/snowy planet during a blizzard with no means to evacuate. Garrus gets hypothermia.
Out of the Blue - while Garrus is in surgery after his injury on Omega, Shepard worries. And tries to keep her mind off it.
★Blue Glow - while on Menae, Shepard sees a very familiar looking Marauder. Angst. Written for the Shakarian Mini-Bang 2025.
★Monochrome - Noir AU. Garrus is a private detective undercover as a burlesque singer. Shepard is a mob enforcer who never misses one of his shows. Written for 5K 2025.
A Little Green - Shep and Garrus are working a routine escort job for a charming, handsome turian politician... Jealousy and bitterness ensues.
★Selfish - Garrus finds that Shepard sleeps better when he's there. It's too bad that he's there for selfish reasons.
Rubicon - hours before the final push in the war, Shepard and Garrus go on one last date to pretend everything's alright.
Honourable mentions:
★Change Starts With Today - not a Shakarian fic exactly, but circling around the relationship a lot. Garrus goes to therapy. (this is one of my favourite fics I've ever written!)
Seems Like This World's Still Trying To Tame Me - pre-relationship, but their friendship is as important to me as their romance, so I'm putting it here. Shepard's still struggling with being brought back to life.
Found - while this is a Garrus fic and not technically a Shakarian fic, Shakarian is the catalyst here. Garrus discovering and accepting his sexual orientation.
★somewhere far from goodbye - not a Shakarian fic but both Garrus and Shepard are recurring characters and their relationship is there, even if not in the foreground. A post-canon Kryterius ficlet.
//
also since i tend to add new fics at the very bottom of this list, this is more or less older to newer
★ stars next to my faves :) Blue fics are the platonic leaning Shakarian (although to be fair I think it's always a secret third thing with them)
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Characters will make a very nuanced choice that makes sense for their story arc and internal conflict, and audience members will be like "is anyone else going to misconstrue this in the most black and white, bad faith manner possible?"
I think now is an apt time to share the scariest and most disgusting experience I have ever had in fandom which was when a person who was following me but I hadn't spoken to before messaged me on tumblr to show me an AI voiced "audiobook/audio drama" of their shakarian "fanfic" (I assume it was also AI generated).
I don't know why they chose to send this to me personally and also privately in DMs but I was disgusted beyond measure. I didn't even click on the link so I hope it wasn't. uh. sexual. but truly horrifying and repulsive either way to steal those people (people you don't know! Complete strangers!)'s voices, a part of who they are, to play out some made up scenario you have, without their knowledge or consent, and then share it with a random person on tumblr for some reason.
And when I immediately reacted with horror and disgust, this person had the gall to tell me "but isn't this why AI exists? For us to have fun?" word for word. I will never forget this.
I blocked their ass of course but you know what's fucked up? This same person has the same username on AO3. And I saw them kudos some of my fics.
So I assume those fics, literal years of my unpaid work made out of nothing but passion, have been scraped as well. Because "this is for me to have fun".
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
What are the thoughts on mods that utilize AI voice cloning of the characters in the game the mod is intended for, where presumably the only information being fed is the voice files provided within the game's folders.
It’s bad unless they have permission from the voice actor. even if you’re not making any money, it’s messed up to take another person’s voice and make them say things they never said without their knowledge, consent, and compensation. someone’s fan project doesn’t supersede that person’s rights
I hate to jump on this post but anon have you read anything Jennifer Hale has said on the subject of how horrifying it is to have your voice taken from you by AI? She makes her case and thoughts on it very clear: it's stealing your bodily autonomy because your voice is a part of your body, and voice actors have spent years honing their voice and are very in tune of how they sound and how they should sound. Do not take a part of a person's body for your fan project. And especially a person who has been so incredibly outspoken about it.
What's like the WORST AI "art" you've seen for ME??? Any criteria, that's up to you. Some of the stuff out there is outrageous
all AI art is bad, and the ones that are passed off as genuine art are the worst of them all.
like sure i could say, big titty bikini fetish femshep’s the worst, and that did piss me off badly… or human-ear garrus… but the real villain here is always the stealth stuff. people have no shame. and a lot of people can’t tell when something has AI in its process, and they’re being duped into showering OP with praise and attention while genuine artists are getting increasingly disheartened. and that’s what i truly despise. why would you ever generate your fanworks. what’s even the point of being in the fandom then if you don’t engage in the hobby yourself
need y'all to know that most academics have publicly searchable email addresses and this not only makes their day but they can put nice emails in their giant packets for applying for jobs or tenure. "hi i read your paper for a class and it was very helpful, im at xyz college and the class is blah with professor blah" is sufficient and ENORMOUSLY helpful
You're invited to our annual AU event, where we challenge you to write a complete AU using no more than 5,000 words. The perfect excuse to get that one idea out of your head. The 5k welcomes all fandoms, all ships, original fiction, and has no content restrictions. Just tag your work honestly.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Something that has always confounded the hell out of me are the people who use AI and then deny it and do what they can to cover their tracks. Because this suggests that they realise and understand that using AI is something to be ashamed of and something you don't want to be caught doing — but at the same time somehow that awareness doesn't translate to not using fucking AI.
It has always fascinated me. People who use AI and are open about it aren't any less of an asshole, of course, but the amount of internal hypocrisy hoops people who use AI and pretend they don't have to jump through is deeply fascinating. Like what is wrong with your brain can I study you under a microscope.
If you care enough not to get caught that you will fake a speedpaint, then you know what you're doing is wrong. And that is a worse stance to have than the people who don't understand they're doing something wrong. The moral corruptness of recognising your behaviour as wrong and continuing to engage in it is something you should have grown out of in preschool.
Don't use AI. Especially don't use AI in fandom. And if you know using AI is wrong? Don't fucking use AI
Despite my deep dislike of the Ratfish as a person, Ratfish the episode is still among my favourites apparently. Count the Rice as the newest one is already in my top 5 and I suspect with rewatches will climb up even higher...
Make your own ranking here :) and feel free to tag me if you do because it took me a while to put this template together so I'd love to see people use it
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
i hate the way fat antagonists have their weight moralized and used as a metaphor for greed and corruption and i hate the way it's overcorrected into fat people being "soft squishy friend-shaped cupcakes who look like they give incredible hugs" and i long for the day we have nuanced, interesting, and complicated fat characters and most of all i long for the day people are normal about fatness
