(she/they pronouns only)
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i write things and draw stuff.
this blog is a multifandom mess. mostly shakarian. header by @milkywayes.
AO3 | ko-fi | art blog | writing blog
Crossing A Line - First Contact War Shakarian AU: Garrus finds a wounded human soldier and tries to nurse her back to health.
Behind Closed Doors - sequel to Crossing A Line. Shepard and Garrus being a couple for 27 chapters straight. There’s an overarching plot, but it’s mostly fluff.
Edge of Yesterday - Shepard survives after ME3 but her memories since Cerberus revived her are gone. And Garrus is still in love with her.
Tomorrow's Light - a kinda-sorta sequel to Edge of Yesterday; a longform take on post-canon domestic Shakarian still struggling with their trauma.
one-shots:
Snipers - Shepard watches Garrus sleep and realises how much he trusts her.
Lullaby - Shepard can’t sleep, so Garrus decides to abandon all of his dignity and sing her a lullaby.
Beauty is Merciless - after getting the missile, Garrus realizes he's not pretty anymore.
i’ve been looking for incredibles, the meanings of unbelievable - Shepard has trauma responses and accidentally punches Garrus during a panic attack.
i even hope for tragedies (if it goes with the thrill) - Shepard throws herself into danger with little regard for her safety. Garrus notices. Takes place almost immediately after the end of ME2, when their relationship is very new and they’re still figuring it out.
but then you were standing in front of my door - Shepard and Garrus get stuck on an empty ship, without their translators. There is a universal language, but Shepard doesn’t know it very well… (this was originally a vent fic)
with every piece in your hand that i could ask for - Garrus looking back on his relationship with Shepard over the course of the trilogy, completely smitten, as he is with her.
Breathe - They’re in love and they’re okay crying in front of each other. Also Garrus is obsessed with human hair.
Respite - Garrus takes Shep out on a dinner date. Very lighthearted fluff.
and my name was beautiful when you said it - Garrus is the one who has the voice kink for once.
Battle Scars - Shepard and Garrus go into a scar-comparing contest. Hurt/Comfort.
★Big Spoon/Little Spoon AKA “the Spooning As A Metaphor For Nationality Issues fanfic”. Hurt/Comfort, with some psychological delve into the Spacer background. Also spooning is hard when you’re so physically different.
Forever - Shakarian get married instead of the Citadel DLC.
New Dreams Are Born - Shepard survives the war, and Garrus finally lets himself hope for a future with her.
Heat Waves - the AC is broken and as it turns out, humans aren’t that great at handling hot temperatures. Fluff and humor.
★Caught in a Neverending Game - Years after the war, Shepard doesn't cope too well with her fame. Garrus is there to help.
Seems Like This World's Still Trying To Tame Me - After coming back from the dead, Shepard struggles with depression. Garrus gives her some tea and, more importantly, a hug.
★Beautifully Struggle Every Day - Post-canon domestic!Shakarian one-shot, in which they both have PTSD but are also very much in love.
As The World Turns - my first work in the Mass Effect fandom. I just jotted down some thoughts I had about their very platonic and completely professional relationship. Includes Shepard trusting Garrus more than anyone else in the world, even herself.
For The Cause - Garrus is not a good turian. Or at least he wasn't until he met Shepard.
boyfriend - Humans are weird, and human relationships are even weirder; Garrus slowly learning the differences between being Shepard's friend and her boyfriend.
Casual - Soulmate AU, where Garrus finds out Shepard is his soulmate in a very awkward way.
★while seeing both of our hourglasses - dying together is romantic, right? And dying together while holding hands has got to be extra romantic.
[fluffuary 2022] First I Love You - in which Shepard blurts out "I love you" on Menae.
[fluffuary 2022] Napping Together - Shepard and Garrus are perpetually tired, which concerns and confuses the crew.
[fluffuary 2022] Cooking Together - post-canon. Shep and Garrus take a cooking course for dextro/levo couples.
[fluffuary 2022] Compliments - Shep is Very Bad at giving compliments.
[fluffuary 2022] Acts of Devotion - confused by the way Garrus has been acting, Shepard asks Victus if turians can purr.
[fluffuary 2022] Soothing Touch - Garrus is not okay after the Cerberus attack on the Citadel.
my duty to keep - Garrus ponders on what it's like being the main character's love interest.
I'll keep every part of you - Garrus gets badly wounded during a mission. Shepard blames herself.
On a monotonous August morn' - a day in the life of happily married very cuddly Shakarian, years after the war. Plotless fluff.
★in a summer morning - long after the Reapers are defeated, after years of military service and political delegations, Shepard comes back to Earth to be with Garrus.
Home - a look on how the Shakarian household changes over time along with their relationship.
Here With You - Shepard and Garrus go to an interspecies club for date night. Spoiler: Garrus gets hit on a lot.
★Walking Back To You - post-war, Shepard worries that she and Garrus might be drifting away.
to know you (as hardly golden) - Shepard asks Garrus if he attended her funeral. Hurt Comfort.
i wanna see you dance again - Shepard and Garrus slow dancing in the kitchen at 2AM and sitting on the porch watching a thunderstorm. That's it, that's the fic.
Black And White, Shadow And Light - a small relationship study on what if they were actually opposites in literally everything.
★Patience is Sorrow's Salve - post-canon. Garrus is hesitant to have sex with Shepard after she's released from the hospital. angst ensues.
★Love is an Echo - Shepard listens to Garrus's heartbeat.
Since You Appeared - Garrus pining for Shepard over the first two games. a lot.
In The End - three times Shepard said goodbye and one time Garrus said hello.
Happiness Is A Warm Blanket - during the war, when Garrus gets overwhelmed, he tends to burrow under a blanket.
(you show me) how to be whole again - bleeding out and dying, Shepard holds on to the only memory she has left - Garrus.
★Tasting Rust - Shepard and Garrus washing blood off each other. It's got a sort of raw tenderness to it.
Stake Me Out Tonight - Shep and Garrus on a stakeout together during ME2, before they get together. A lot of unresolved sexual and romantic tension.
★Valediction - Garrus is high on stims, sleep deprivation, grief, and god knows what else, so when he sees Shepard on Omega, he assumes he's dying and she's his guide to the afterlife.
Stabbed With A Star - [18+] Shepard and Garrus have time, for the first time ever, to explore some of their fantasies. Garrus is still self-conscious about his role in the relationship.
Anchor - Shepard has a panic attack when Garrus isn't there to calm her down. He finds her in the aftermath for some hurt/comfort.
Have you heard about Castis Vakarian's son? - sometimes even turians gossip. Especially when you're different. Outsider POV on Castis Vakarian's weird son. Experimental format.
Sentinel - Shepard and Garrus are stuck on an ice/snowy planet during a blizzard with no means to evacuate. Garrus gets hypothermia.
Out of the Blue - while Garrus is in surgery after his injury on Omega, Shepard worries. And tries to keep her mind off it.
Control - [18+] uh. no plot just edging
★Blue Glow - while on Menae, Shepard sees a very familiar looking Marauder. Angst. Written for the Shakarian Mini-Bang 2025.
★Monochrome - Noir AU. Garrus is a private detective undercover as a burlesque singer. Shepard is a mob enforcer who never misses one of his shows. Written for 5K 2025.
A Little Green - Shep and Garrus are working a routine escort job for a charming, handsome turian politician... Jealousy and bitterness ensues.
★Selfish - Garrus finds that Shepard sleeps better when he's there. It's too bad that he's there for selfish reasons.
Honourable mentions:
★Change Starts With Today - not a Shakarian fic exactly, but circling around the relationship a lot. Garrus goes to therapy. (this is one of my favourite fics I've ever written!)
Seems Like This World's Still Trying To Tame Me - pre-relationship, but their friendship is as important to me as their romance, so I'm putting it here. Shepard's still struggling with being brought back to life.
Found - while this is a Garrus fic and not technically a Shakarian fic, Shakarian is the catalyst here. Garrus discovering and accepting his sexual orientation.
★somewhere far from goodbye - not a Shakarian fic but both Garrus and Shepard are recurring characters and their relationship is there, even if not in the foreground. A post-canon Kryterius ficlet.
//
★ stars next to my faves :)
also since i tend to add new fics at the very bottom of this list, this is more or less older to newer
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wordle in 1: joyless. it is statistically inevitable that your go-to starting word will be the solution one day, and this is no more of an accomplishment than running a random number generator once a day until it gives you "1"
wordle in 2: misleading. you may think that this is the highest achievement, but it suffers from the same disappointment of a lucky guess that wordle in 1 causes. your second guess is a strategic choice, but ending the game this early just isn't interesting
wordle in 3: the peak. your starting word gave you some information and then your second guess contextualized that information into a solvable position. your sharp intuition and restraint is what truly separates you as above average.
wordle in 4: statistically average, par for the course, the baseline against which all other wordles are compared.
wordle in 5: you're sweating. you made a mistake at some point, or your starting word was effectively useless, and it took an extra guess above average to close things out. wordle in 5 comes as a relief.
wordle in 6: crushing humiliation. you have technically succeeded but at what cost. your thirty square grid will stare back at you like barrels of a firing squad. a failure in all but name.
wordle failure: never your fault. what kind of stupid word even was that like come on
currently watching: i'm on episode 3 of city council of darkness and i'm really enjoying this gravity falls meets parks and rec meets stardew valley vibe it's got going on hell yeah. my longstanding dream of a dimension 20 season using vampire the masquerade is realised yay!
current obsession: i dont fucking know. my back hurts. I'm finding it very hard to enjoy anything right now :(
currently reading: rereading at the mountains of madness bc after project hail mary i had to find something with pretty prose in it quick lol
currently working on: my back hurts. im trying to make silly little drawings when I have the time but I feel like I can't commit to anything bigger right now.
currently wearing: flower print jeans. flowy pink button-up shirt. nasa baseball cap.
last google search: "sopotnia wielka" i wanted to see if it's very far away to the nearest dark sky spot bc i crave to see the stars without light pollution at least once in my life. its on the other end of the country btw.
favorite flower: in theory sunflowers but in practice carnations. i love carnations.
I feel like everyone I love has been tagged already but I'm gonna say @gammaraydeath @mostmagical @navkays anyway. you don't have to do it
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I hope you don't take this the wrong way but it feels like you're going through something and I just want to say I hope you get it figured out soon. Love
Thank you anon 🥺
I am always going through something I feel... But my back is definitely one of the worst things I've had to go through.... I too hope to get it figured out soon
You’re anon is off so get loved on main, you are incredibly multi-talented and don’t give yourself nearly enough credit for being a bright, wonderful light in this fandom 💕
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I'm the opposite of a hater. I'll watch clips from a show I've never seen and I'm immediately rooting for the characters. You tell me about an art form I've never heard of before and I'm like "holy shit look at how good this is!" I'm wishing that the customer service rep's day gets better when I see they're in a bit of a sour mood. There is so much beauty in the world but you gotta go out looking for the way the light glistens off the water and trees, not just wait for the weather to get better.
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i wanted to do a quick drawing of ro in her middle age (taking the extended human lifespans of mass effect into account)
i imagine that working as an instructor at ICT is her idea of retirement. she's a tough but fair teacher and enjoys designing complex field training exercises that can really challenge her recruits. maybe she even brings in a certain fellow sharpshooter in as a guest instructor from time to time.
in addition to the burns from harbinger's beam, she suffers from nerve damage as a result of her destroyed cybernetics. her right hand has a significant tremor and she has neuropathy. this significantly impacts her ability to hold, aim, and fire weapons until she creates weapon mods that can accommodate her disability - she doesn't really feel like herself until she can nail a target from a thousand yards.
after roughly fifty years, her skin grafts and other scars would probably be more healed than this, but i got a bit carried away lol. i like the idea of her having some kind of zuko thing going on with obvious facial disfigurement. she owns it
bonus under the cut because it came out a little wonky and i don't like it that much but i do want to share her jumpsuit
This is literally my personal hell. Writing hurts. Drawing hurts. Playing video game hurts. Reading hurts. I can't do this anymore. What's the point of anything when everything I love causes me pain???
