Pride month confession time 2:
Years ago, a bit before quarantine, I was for some reason in a public bus with my dad (we already had a car and he's the only one who knows how to drive, I honestly don't know why we were in that bus) we were going downtown for something that I don't remember.
As usual I'm reading ao3 while listening to music, my dad doesn't speak to me as he's looking through the windows, the he suddenly started to talk to me so I listened...
I still have my doubts about that short conversation.
Dad: You know, the day I saw your mom in a different light, the day I fell for her, I was going to the church in a bus and then a guy from my street got in and when he saw me he started to chat with me...
Me nodding with no idea where this conversation is going: uh-uh
Dad: He was a drug addict, you know how they were back then, and there was also the thing with the AIDS, so I kinda felt sorry for him...
Me suddenly even more confused about why is he telling me that: oh...
Dad: Yeah, so we are getting closer to wherever he was going to, and he asked me to join him at that party...
Me wondering if it's about bad companionship since I was about to start college: I see...
Dad: And I knew what kind of party it would be, full of queers and drugs and things of that style... And I really thought about it, he knew that I knew what kind of party it was, yet he had the trust to invite me and I rejected him...
Me very confused: Okay????????????
Dad: He, many years later, died homeless because of his addictions and AIDS, an old neighbour told me...
Me still wondering what kind of lesson he believed he was giving: And?????
Dad: Sometimes I wonder what would be of my life if I had agreed to go to that party...
Me very surprised: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dad continued without noticing my surprise: Yeah, I wouldn't have fallen for your mom and I might have ended like one of them, maybe I would have gotten sick or not, maybe I would have meet someone to love and my life would have been very different of what it is now... Who knows...
Me not knowing if he's talking of being and addict or being gay/bi: !?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Dad: But that's life, oh we have to get off here!
And that was the conversation, to this day I wonder if my dad was trying to to tell me that he's bi, to not get in drugs or that I should accept myself (my parents believe I'm lesbian, I'm sadly not), when I talked about it with my sis, she said that apparently our dad was bi.
So yeah, this pride month confession is the story of how I suspect my dad is bi and he really doesn't know that, because he was very secure that he would have been gay if he went to that party, which is very suspicious and his best friend of the moment was already experimenting with drugs so I doubt he was talking about becoming a addict (he even helped his friend when he was fighting his addictions later on) and that best friend is a very bad friend nowadays as a very absent godfather, yet my dad's clings to that friendship a lot which might explain why, my dad still has a crush on him (theory) or something...