cool kid zone

Ok so thanks for voting on this but i need you to reblog it too

how do i put more than one tummyache a day

I think flinching is such a hit or miss reflex. Like yea a tiny bit of boiling water touched my hand but i dont think reflexivly throwing the water everywhere is a good defensive measure perhaps. might be even worse actually

you've been summoned for july duty

She’s gotta use weights to let down her hair. She can use this setup as a weapon.

I’m starting a gofundme to get a mojito

i have tested positive for tzatziki

dont worry little password. I'm insecure too

this reads like it was submitted to a local newspaper in the early 1900s

Polycules should be able to trade people like sports teams do

Listen -- you're a good defender and your pussy is fantastic, but that's not what our team needs right now. We're trading you to Greater Boston in exchange for someone who has a car.

this is how lesbians text when you’re trying to figure out where to go for dinner