> hear someone is "feeling faint" up high

> i work rescuing ppl from heights

> climb to them, heat is radiating off of them like crazy

> feels like standing next to an oven

> theyre barely responsive, just sitting still. no verbal responses but will move when prompted to. very weak grip, very weak legs, very weak overall

> says they feel they might throw up

> get them a cold electrolyte drink and take off their poncho which was acting like a greenhouse

> set up ropes and lower them out of the heights

> theyre ice cold to the touch once they gets to the ground

> they lost all temperature regulation

> heat stroke and extreme dehydration

> wouldnta made it down the tree without me

> woulda had a stroke or worse

> i get paid minimum wage for this shit

> my nailpolish got ruined :(

When you're talking about the design of the boat, you say "it".

When the boat is still being built, your say "it".

When the boat is nearing completion, you can say "it" or "she".

When the boat is floating in the water you probably say "she", unless there is still a lot of work to be done (e.g. no engine yet) then you say "it".

When the boat is officially launched and operating, you say "she". If you continue to say "it" at this point you are not incorrect but suspiciously untraditional. You are not playing the game.

If you are referring to a boat you don't really know anything about you may say "it" ("there's a big boat, it's coming this way"). But if you know its name, it's probably "she" ("there's the Waverley, she's on her way to Greenock").

If you are talking about boats in general, you say "it" ("when a boat is hit by a wave it heels over")

If you speak about a boat in complimentary terms, it's "she" ("she's a grand boat"). If you are being disparaging it may be it, but not necessarily ("it's as ugly as sin", "she's a grotty old tub").

If she has a boy's name, she's still she. "Boy James", "King Edward", "Sir David Attenborough"? The pronoun is she.

If it's a dumb barge (no engine), you say it. But if it's a rowing boat (no engine), you say she.

male/man is a sociopolitical class within a patriarchal economic system. what would being a "man" even mean if it was distinct from its relational position in this sexgender hierarchy? what do these guys think manhood is? like they do not even offer a definition of what constitutes this ideal of "gender" that supposedly exists outside of social, political, and economic context.

this endless ''nothing means anything'' idealism as a tool for obscuring any analysis around sexgender in order to perpetuate transmisogyny without being held to account for it.. it's such a "I'd die before I hold solidarity with anyone" move.

Also, the kiss was a big deal not just because it was gay but because the trans actress was HIV positive. They wanted to show the world that you can't contract HIV just from kissing someone. Bear in mind, the AIDS crisis was still fresh on people's minds in the 90s.

the two types of transfem culture are "co-opted by tmes" and "harmful to the greater trans community". all transfem culture is placed into these two categories.

blahaj? co-opted. referring to each other by familial roles? harmful to the community. the term egg? co-opted. age regression? harmful to the community.

Hello TME. In front of you is a post in which a transfem laments the fact that she and her sisters cannot have anything, not even a cute plushie shark, which she will list alongside several other, more serious things.

You must reply without belittling said transfems pain and if you d- Oh that was quick. Bravo! Now into the acid with you.

I wonder why this person only mentioned the sharks and none of the more serious things?

Then again, it probably wouldn't sound quite as high, mighty and above it all to say:

"god I'm so sorry that someone co-opted an intra community slur whilst you were trying to reclaim it, that must be so difficult."

Or:

"god I'm so sorry people who claim to be your brothers siblings and allies frequently repress your civil rights movement, that must be so hard for you."

Huh.

by Johnny Silverhand

Putting yourself first is a natural reaction in a society that consistently puts you last, but in doing so you’ll be assumed crazy by the society that neglected you. In the book Catch-22 by Joseph Heller, the main character Yossarian is regularly framed as a mad man. Why is this so? The answer is the simple fact that he is having a rational reaction to his external environment, in which a war is taking place that he is forced to fight in. In the pages 298-300, Yossarian meets with a psychiatrist that claims he has a persecution complex that makes him think people are out to harm him. The conversation then goes as so:

“People ARE trying to harm me”

“You see? You have no respect for excessive authority or obsolete traditions. You’re dangerous and depraved, and you ought to be taken outside and shot.”

(page 299, Joseph Heller)

Anyone can see that his logical reaction to a war and the terror he faces everyday is being pathologized to justify the neglect of his need to be grounded to safety, to enforce authority rule over him, and even to warrant violence towards him. How does this relate to narcissism? Like the term crazy that is being weaponized against Yossarian, the label narcissist is used to pathologize a rational reaction of believing you deserve better than the exploitation of capitalism. When you are labeled a narcissist, your voice is shrunk down to a minuscule and becomes invaluable as your existence no longer supports the growth of production. When you are labeled a narcissist, you are robbed of your personhood and harm isn’t just okay to do to you, but important to do to you as some sinister form of justice for all the future harm you have caused. As a narcissist, I reject this; I say that narcissism isn’t just rational to capitalism, but also completely justified in the fact that we deserve to be the center of attention, we deserve to have control, and we deserve to have admiration. 

How does capitalistic society neglect us of support? We are a traumatized people, trauma that has torn us permanently apart and was inflicted or strengthened by the family structure, class divisions, or other oppressive structures caused by racism, patriarchy, cisnormativity, etc. And you are expected to not just deal with this on your own, but to deal with it quietly. By the DSM5, a symptom of Narcissism is a need for admiration or to be at the center of attention. This wording is sinister and only comes from the perspective of the outsider, what we are in need for is equity and support. Our needs are high, as our wounds lacked their stitching over time in our enforced silence, and as they opened wider our need for care became greater and greater until we were on the verge of death. This need of validation or a listening audience or affection may seem higher than the average persons, and because of its high ceiling it is seen as “desiring to be in the center of attention”, but it is instead us bleeding out and asking for stitches for our gravely infected wounds which requires more gauze, more alcohol, more nursing than usual. And to justify neglecting us of our needs, we are called selfish, and we are abandoned. This isn’t just a metaphor, we are literally abandoned, and this is evident by high suicide rates and high homeless rates. Is us asking for aid not just a rational reaction to the wounds of the trauma of being in a capitalistic society? It is rational! It is logical! What does bourgeoisie get out of starving us then? That is easy to answer, pathologizing the poor needing support prevents a movement to a more socialist structure, money is withheld to the bourgeoise and maximized off the suffering of the people. 

Furthermore, everyone under capitalist rule has thought before “I wish I had control over my life”. Everyone. This is okay, this is common. Then what separates the narcissist? The fact that we actually make our attempt to take control in aspects of our daily life, that we demand it as it is apart of our needs. This drive is pathologized, because the greatest weapon of crushing someone’s drive is to bring doubt and societal rejection to their drive. Let’s bring in an easy realistic example, at work you feel like your time and effort deserves better pay than the minimum wage, a normal rational feeling for anybody whose surplus value is being exploited. You go to your boss, you request higher pay, you request more time off, you request sick time, you request grieving time, you request to be treated as an equal to him. You are rejected everytime with the excuse of “policy” or some bullshit. The boss goes to the break room, he gossips with your coworkers about how narcissistic you are for thinking you deserve better than every other coworker you have, for asking too much, for being selfish and self centered. Your coworkers take in these words, nodding their heads to appease their boss, but as they engage with you they start to see it too. You ask for them to not talk to you that way, you ask them to respect your efforts and achievements, you ask them for control over small daily life things that have made you feel belittled. They see your boss is right, and now they no longer invite you to eat lunch with them, they no longer let you borrow their pens or their pencils, they no longer see you as a person but a selfish narcissistic asshole who never even deserved that higher pay you asked for. The bourgeois have the ultimate control of society, as they own the means of production, but when they are selfish and demand more out of you, they aren’t narcissistic, they’re just businessmen.  

Moving on, how does support and admiration differ? Support is stitching the wounds, admiration is hearing the narcissist out on how to prevent the wounds and agreeing with them and following through. Throughout time there have been figureheads, leaders, authors, voices that have been heard and greatly respected. Being a narcissist means to be constantly disrespected under capitalism as we are discredited because of our insanity. Admiration to narcissists is vital to help the improvement of our livelihoods, and the livelihoods of all proletariat because we recognize that we deserve better, and thus our voice will aid others to realize that they also deserve better, and in doing so they become the narcissist too. We need to be admired so our words can be trusted, and the sanism that censors us can be combatted. Think about Yossarian from the beginning of the text, what if he had people who admired him being vocal about how people want to kill him and that he has the right to live? What if him vocalizing how he feels made people see that they also deserve the right to live, even if it made them crazy to think so? The power given to authority is only so by the people they rule over, and if this rule is doubted, the power is overthrown and returned to the people, where change will be made.  You have to admire crazy people, they’re the only ones willing to actually do anything, even if it makes you crazy too.

In conclusion, narcissism is rational and justified as it demands our needs to be met, the taking of our lives back, and change to be made under a society that wants to kill us for not wanting to be exploited anymore. Many anti psychs say that the term narcissistic personality disorder should be rejected as a whole, I see this as a truth, but as a narcissist I make my own addition to this truth. I am a narcissist, it defines me, my ideals, my politics, my entire being. I am however not disordered, there isn’t anything about me that needs to be fixed, my “sickness” is bought upon by my lack of submission. Narcissism then should instead be uplifted. Narcissism needs to be seen as a pure logic, a true reaction to have, a function that just makes sense to turn to. If you have yet to be labeled as a narcissist, I ask you to reflect on yourself, and recognize that you must demand better. You need to be narcissistic, you need to be crazy, and then you will be conscious. 

[putting my hip into working the corkscrew]

I was in a much stronger Art Hoe mood when I posted this, but like. yeah.

I've read Gravity's Rainbow three times, Naked Lunch twice, so many things that made no sense and I feel stupid trying. every time I play this, I get it. it's like if going home wasn't complicated

"Lily, that's a different song" fuck off, I love you, bear with me