TETAM

with faith, 

“do you hate me??” he asks. 

In commemoration of the 28th anniversary of the Genocide Against Tutsi: 

thoughts racing, hands shaking, 

eyes on the prize, I’m destined to rise.

heart pumping, blood thickening,

these trenches are deep and wide, 

but allow me to abide,

allow me to confide,

on this side, there’s no sunshine or rainbows.

no pretty willows, 

no calm rivers where the water flows,

but this is how you grow 

your greatest men and women are the ones who know

there is nothing like failure to make you hungrier

nothing like grief to make you stronger

nothing like war to truly know peace

so I pick up my pieces, 

I fell 7 times, but I got up 8,

I never knew I could stand so straight.

I feel it to my core, I am made to be great

and with an eye that exists only to defy,

 it’s soon-to-be July, 

so doubt and worry no more, 

I mean truly, how could I? 

how could I when above me, there is a sky that has never given up,

and below me, there is a land worth for us all to make up?

I can only plant my feet deeper in this ground,

but make no excuses, I have no plans for another round.

The voices of my ancestors have sung hymns of 

courage and brilliance, of love and resilience, of pain and consilience,

thus I am strong for I know I have never been lonely, much less alone,

I exist because they have never ceased to persist and 

honor what they know is free and equally their own.

Through them I find me, 

for them, I live to tell their stories. 

We are one and the same so we cannot afford to ever forget,

*Favorite Scene from Dead Poet Society*

Todd: YAWP! Keating: There it is. You see, you've got a barbarian in you after all. Now, you don't get away that easy. A picture of Uncle Walt up there, what does he remind you of, don't think, answer. Todd: A madman. Keating: What kind of madman? Todd: A crazy madman. Keating: No, you can do better than that, free up your mind, use your imagination, say the first thing that pops into your head, even if it's total gibberish, go on, go on. Todd: A sweaty-toothed madman. Keating: Good God boy, there's a poet in you after all. There, close your eyes, close your eyes, close 'em, now describe what you see. Todd: I close my eyes, Keating: Yes. Todd: and this image floats beside me. Keating: A sweaty-toothed madman. Todd: A sweaty-toothed madman with a stare that pounds my brain. Keating: Oh that's excellent, now give him an action, make him do something. Todd: His hands reach out and choke me, Keating: That's excellent, wonderful, wonderful. Todd: and all the time he's mumbling. Keating: What's he mumbling?

Todd: Mumbling truth, truth like a blanket that always leaves your feet cold. [laughter] Keating: Forget them, forget them, stay with the blanket, tell me about the blanket. Todd: You push it, stretch it, it will never be enough, you kick at it, beat it, it will never cover any of us. From the moment we enter crying to the moment we leave dying, it will just cover your face, as you wail and cry and scream.

 The ‘Before’ Trilogy

it almost sounded provocative when Allison said that, except it was too true. As a girl, you have to figure out what you can handle being categorize as before you understand what are your true needs and your own identity. i mean, no wonder sexual liberation for women typically occurs at much later time in their lives...

or thought.

they require heart.

No,

i've decided i won't kill myself in this lifetime;

i've decided there's more than a hundred reasons to stay around, but mostly i've decided that i have no interest in afterlife;

what kind of stories can they even tell out there? i prefer the ones about us; i'm happy to be flawed; i'm glad there's redemption, i'm proud to be doing my best despite all the uncertainties; there's beauty in pain and love, true love in everything we can't control;

i'm okay now even when i'm hurt; i think we are all so beautiful, how come there's so many different faces? i think we should all remove masks and marvel in our glory and graces; apparently, there's 37 189 coffee places - just in the US; imagine worldwide? and all the libraries, the beaches, the museums, the galleries....

afterlife is inevitable, but this right here is worth all the while; no need to rush - but imagine, all the things you can see, feel, breathe, touch, smell and especially create...

you give life, you know that?

you're divine, you feel that?

you deserve to, you should; there isn't just a life out there, but within you; so rich, so vaste, so timeless;

i hope you know you are the only home you need - all the other ones may be beautiful pursuits and wonderful desires, but you are all the pieces of the puzzle and to be honest, you don't ever have to put them together;

they are wonderful on their own,

each piece - a story of its own;

but if you ever decide that they are better all together, i hope you know that one perspective is never the full story;

i'm not being precautionary, i'm simply saying - don't look for finality, closures, endings or conclusions;

a period a the end of a sentence is brutal anyways;

There’s so much life in between the lines.

Stories that beg to be told, legends that dare to live on. Sometimes, silent conversations can birth entire nations too.

I’m grateful you pay attention. These moments are fleeting and somehow you always think of ways to immortalize them - in your heart and on paper. I do not know if this ink is eternal, but there is no limit to the depth of your heart. I hope you know that.

23 years young. I’m sorry, but you will look 14 for a long time. It doesn’t really help that you stayed the same height too. But here is what I can tell you.

No grass will ever be as green as the one you water. The vastness of this sky will contrast with the delicacy of your humanity, but the ocean will awaken your infinity. Both are important. Both will bring you solace and inspiration.