âI will never regret this friendship, Tony. I will never regret meeting you.
Ever.â

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@terrible-privilege
âI will never regret this friendship, Tony. I will never regret meeting you.
Ever.â

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ok but the first time natasha and tony are sparring and tony throws a punch natasha doesnât catch soon enough and he clocks her so hard her mouth is bloody
imagine their faces
Iâm imagining they go for drinks or something afterwards and Natasha preens like a proud mama bear
#âheâs so grown up look at what he didâ#*wears her injured lip proudly*Â (via @rendingrosencrantz)
This is definitely what Natasha would do.
# oh my god tony would go full on panic mode# like heâll reach out to her face and want to comfort her# but pull them back because gdi he hurt her# natâs just impressed# brotp: tony & nat (via @tonyfujikawa)
i am literally so on board with both of these omg. i feel like tony would be simultaneously excited/delighted and horrified and heâd keep waffling back and forth between being like OH MY GOD ARE YOU OKAY and HOLY SHIT I PUNCHED THE BLACK WIDOW IN THE FACE AND LIVED I AM TELLING LITERALLY EVERYONE THIS IS GOING ON MY RESUMEÂ
and natasha is simultaneously exasperated/amused and PROUD AS ALL GET OUT because hell yeah that was a punch and secretly a tiny bit relieved because now she can relax slightly knowing tony can hold his own and sheâd just be grinning all over the place with terrifying bloody teeth
i imagine thor clapping tony so hard on the back he almost breaks him because heâs so happy for tony and proud of him for his new skillz
I AM JUST LOVING THIS SCENARIO
#letâs be real #tony would also be fucking ecstatic #âi FUCKING GOT HER FUCK YEAH LOOK AT THAT LOOK AT MY KNUCKLESâ #people start giving him side eyes for obvious reasons (via @thegoldenavenger)
OMG YES
#i am so on board with this#because natasha really cares about tony and his safety#even if she doesnât always show openly#so even if it means he gets a whack at her face#sheâs comfortable knowing that tony is fine without his armor#besides if you can punch NATASHA then youâre basically on top of the world#i bet the rest of the avengers were worried when it happened the first time#but weâre so surprised when natasha grinned and pulled tony into a hug#tony screaming because he thought natasha was going to drag him into her thighs of death#brotp#tonynat#tonynatasha (via @saved-by-the-notepad)
FUCKING SIGN ME UP. SIGN ME TF UP. NATASHA/TONY BROTP 2KFOREVER
Ok but Natasha rattling off to Bucky in Russian, âthis motherfucker actually punched me,â & Bucky just looks at her, âget the fuck out, no he didnât. Are you sure it wasnât Steve,â says Bucky jokingly.Â
âNo, idiot, we were sparring.âÂ
âAND HE DECKED YOU? Well, shit⌠I owe Stark an apology. Iâm sure heâs fucking happy.â âOh yeah, I bet heâs told everyone by now,â says Natasha but she canât help but grin as she holds an ice pack to her busted lip.
IM SCREAMING. OMG
The sketch made this even better!
Look @terrible-privilege it our Muses!!!
âAre you telling me Iâm not? A villain? I mean Iâd like to think that Iâd at least qualify for super-villain, but thatâs semantics.â Tony barely glanced at the bloody shards heâd already pulled out of his arms, scattered across the table as he flung them away with each pull. He expected an arrest order, or at least detainment by Hill, perhaps under Furyâs suggestion.Â
âWe just blew up a city and youâre telling me youâre not hungry?â He laughed, a quiet, strained thing, and pulled a few pizzas at random off the menu that Friday pulled up and waved them off to have her put the order in. He didnât mention that she held herself differently - just slightly, nowhere near what anyone would normally see, but he bet that it was much the same emotion that was probably a lot clearer on his own face. The Scarlet WitchâsâŚWandaâs (entirely scientifically explainable) magic still haunted Tony, and he hadnât slept since that day in Sokovia. Seeing Natasha, in front of him, alive, was a good attempt to banish the image of her dead body lying against chitauri steps.
âYouâve met Loki, you created Ultron,â she shook her head, âyouâre far from a villain, Stark. Although, the latter could maybe put you on the list of âPotential Villains.â
She shrugged, âblowing up cities doesnât exactly excite hunger within me. Actually, it kind of turns me off to the whole idea.â
She closed her hand into a fist, leaving the rest of the pieces of the lab untouched by her. She didnât need a physical reminder of how broken everything was. The steady beat of her heart reminded her enough.
Leaning against the nearest counter, she slowly folded her arms across her chest. âWhat do you think happens next, Stark?â
It was a loaded question - one that she wasnât even certain had an answer - but it was one that had haunted her since they had left Bartonâs farm.
âYeah, well, if Loki is what i have to look at, Iâm probably not in great shape. I mean, have you seen how many Defining Characteristics we share?â He grinned, for a moment, a real, crooked thing. âRight up to the Unattainable Standard of Perfect Blond Hero!â Okay, so he was probably a little delirious on lack of sleep and a few too many painkillers, but hey. Natasha was great at keeping secrets. She would use them against you, if she wanted to, but she wouldnât give them out to anyone. Except maybe Clint. But he was wearing a suspicious lack of friendship bracelet, lately, so maybe not anymore.
âFair enough. I donât remember the last time I ate something, so four pizzas should do.â He honestly couldnât remember what the Tower looked like not a week ago, a quiet party bringing it to life. It was a monument of crushed glass, now. A reminder that every time Tony tried to make something for himself, a home, friends, anything, it always shattered in his face.
âNext?â Tony turned to look at her, swallowing, having avoided the question until then. âI spend whatever time I have left trying to bring back Jarvis. I expect some government is going to want me punished, if they find out. Then again, people thought Hammer could have arc tech, so maybe Iâve got longer than I thought. I imagine Capâs off to start his new Adopted Strays project.â Tony didnât mention that he was probably not invited. That, oh how the tables had turned, and he was now the useless one. Or perhaps too useful, and extremely dangerous. âWhat about you? Whatâs next for you?â
âIf it makes you feel any better, Stark, youâre far better looking than Loki. Although,â she tapped her chin thoughtfully. âHe does have that who Asgardian accent going for him. And thereâs the whole him being a god thing. On the other hand, heâs also known to throw tantrums that tend to almost bring about the end of the world. So, yeah.â She nodded. âIâd pick you. Every time.â
She decided not to point out the fact that she didnât plan on eating. That she couldnât eat. That the mess of emotions rollercoasting their way through her body made it impossible for her to eat.
âCan JARVIS be brought back? I mean, isnât he Vision? And besides, donât you have your girl FRIDAY now?â
Natasha was intelligent, but even she didnât understand the inner workings of Starkâs AIâs.
She shook her head, âno oneâs coming for you. No oneâs every going to come for you. No matter how much you want them to. No matter how much you need to be found worthless, just so you can go look in a mirror and tell yourself your father had been right. He wasnât. He isnât. The world needs you, Stark. Far more than they ever needed your father and far more than you ever needed him.â
Natasha glanced down at her perfectly manicured nails, for what felt like hours, before glancing back up at Stark. âI havenât the faintest idea. Cap wants me to help him run the Avengers Facility. Fury wants me to go after Banner. And Hawkeye wants me to fucking babysit.â
âNextâ had always been such a loaded word to Natasha. Mostly because ânextâ hadnât always been her choice. And now that the choice was hers, she wasnât entirely sure she wanted it to be.
âHa. Well, I did always pride myself on my good looks. Did you know thereâs a Tony Stark cologne? Smells like car oil, singed cloth, and sweat. Probably blood too, but maybe they just called that âsharp ironâ.â She probably did know. She probably knew everything about him that there was to know. She definitely knew more about his dad than he ever did.Â
âIâm notâŚquite sure. I mean, yes? No? Vision isnât Jarvis. He doesnât treat me the same, for a start. Iâd like to think that no matter how crazy I am, Jarvis will still love me. Jarvis was an AI, and Vision isâŚas far as I can tellâŚnot? And Jarvis dumped all of his data when Ultron tried to kill him, so heâsâŚheâs gotta be out there.â Tony Stark may be a proponent for change, and an advocate for human advancement, but he was also possessive as all hell. Not sentimental. Just viciously protective of whatâs his. âFridayâs great - youâre awesome, Friday - but sheâs not Jarvis.â There was a lot that went unsaid with a sentence like that, but he trusted Natasha to figure it out, if anyone else could.
He didnât quite know what to say to that. Perhaps he was needed. But he had also proven just how dangerous he was. Just how much terror took hold of him and overrode all other sense. Just how fucking terrified he had been of losing what he thought was a family. He may have lost it anyway in his desperate attempts to save it, haunted by âWhy didnât you do more?â âMaybe someone should,â he said, more to his forceps than to Natasha.
âSounds like everyone has a job for you,â Tony said, looking up at where she stood, and gesturing to a chair that was less full of glass than the rest. âThough the babysitting one sounds like the worst by far.â He shrugged. âIf none of those employment options sound good, well. Your access codes donât expire. And Iâve gotâŚwell, it needs a little fixing, but Iâve got the best anti-paparazzi tech there is.â You can stay here and no one will bother you. Except me, of course. But perhaps that was presumptuous of him - she was probably less wanted than him, and she certainly hadnât gone off the rails when Wanda didâŚwhatever she did.Â
He put the tools down for a moment, hesitated, and then picked them back up. âWhat didâŚWandaâŚdo to you?â It was barely a whisper of breath, and his hand was clutched around the forceps so tightly his knuckles went white.
âI own a bottle or two,â Natasha replied shrugging. âAnd it definitely doesnât smell anything like blood, Stark. Surprisingly though, it does smell an awful lot like you.â The smallest of smiles played at the corners of her mouth. âYou sold your sweat on EBAY, didnât you?â
Natasha listened to Stark ramble on about JARVIS and understood all the things he wasnât saying. JARVIS loved Tony for exactly who and what Tony was. He never asked him to pretend to be something he wasnât. He never required him to be someone he wasnât. JARVIS loved Tony completely. The good and the bad, the beautiful and the ugly, and Tony missed that. Tony needed that.
Natasha understood that need, even if she couldnât remember ever feeling it.
She sighed. âStark, if you want me to arrest you, if you want me to lock you away in some super secret jail cell - just ask. I still know people. Hell, I even know the wannabe new head of HYRDA. One phone call and I can have you shipped away, never to be heard from again.â Her eyes leveled with Starkâs. âJust know, if I make that call, if I do that, itâs not because someone wanted it to happen, itâs because you wanted it to happen.â She shook her head. âYouâre better than all this self-doubt and self-pity, Stark. I know it, and I know you know it too.â
Tilting the seat Stark offered her forward, she watched as the broken shards of glass tumbled to the ground. They looked beautiful reflected in the sunlight, until she lifted her head and again saw the damage they were a part of.
âPeople think the Avengers are an idea, but I never saw them as that. I saw the Avengers as a group of specific individuals. Us, Thor, Cap, Hawkeye, Hulk.â She shook her head again. âCapâs heart is in the right place and his idea is solid, but itâs his vision and I donât see it like he does.â
She laughed at the idea of her babysitting. She loved Hawkeyeâs children as if they were her own flesh and blood, but thatâs where it ended. She didnât want to have a hand in raising them. That sheâd always leave to their parents.
She smiled. âThanks, Stark. I may just take you up on that offer.â
Her mind had already accepted his offer. Knowing that, at least for now, staying at the tower with Stark was exactly where she wanted to be.
Her eyes closed at Tonyâs question, weighing her options. She knew she didnât have to to tell Stark what she saw. That he would accept that she didnât want to tell him, and leave it at that.
Opening her eyes, she glanced down at Tonyâs hands, before raising her gaze to his. âShe showed me my past. And in doing so, she reminded me that Iâm a monster.â She paused, taking a deep breath. âAnd not for the reasons I let Banner believe, but because I chose to not be one of the breakable ones. I chose to kill instead of be killed. I chose to be one of - no, I chose to be the best. I refused to fail. I refused to disappoint. She reminded me that my nightmares are all of me.â
âAbsolutely not,â Tony huffed. âIt must have been one of those crazy reporters from back before Afghanistan. At least theyâre dedicated to accuracy, though I donât know who would wear it and also know what I smell like. You donât wear it, do you?â His eyebrow was quirked in amusement at the notion that she owned that cologne.
âYeah yeah, you know how it is. Havenât had a scotch in a day or two, havenât talked to anyone except Friday, etcetera etcetera. It almost sounds like you want to get me hired for the villains.â Alcohol and pain meds didnât exactly mix, and although Tony usually ignored those kinds of warnings, heâd been on a lot of pain meds for a while now.
âCap is a Gryffindor - what he says is just is right, and nothing can change his mind. Luckily, for the most part, those have been good things. Sort of.â Steve hadnât been the same since the whole debacle with the winter soldier, and Tony couldnât help but wonder if he was in such a hurry to train his shiny new team to go hunt down his old friend.Â
Tony shrugged. âItâs not like I can take up twenty floors by myself.â It had been too quiet with the Avengers gone. A solitude heâd more than likely have to get used to. As usual.
âYou chose to survive,â he pointed out. âAnd it led to you saving the world. A couple of times. Iâd say it was a pretty good choice.â He shuffled the bloody glass shards around on the table, pushing them into indecipherable shapes. âShe showed me my worst fear. That all of you died because of me. That I didnât do enough.â That dark pit, those glowing steps, his dead friends. Another neat image tied up into a bow to haunt him for the rest of his life, along with flying into a wormhole and Yinsen.Â
âStark, you used to get around, remember? If you didnât sell your sweat on EBAY, maybe one of your many conquests did.â
She shrugged. âMaybe I do. Maybe I miss you when youâre not around.â
And she did. They had a bond, an understanding, that Natasha didnât have with anyone else. It ran deeper than trust and respect, and it wasnât written in an owing of debts. It was something coated in blood and guilt and self-doubt.
âYou hate yourself too much to ever be a villain, Stark.â She said, sliding into the now glass free chair. âYou wouldnât last a day.â
She sighed. âSteveâs a good man. One of the best. Itâs easy to trust and believe in him. Itâs easy to lose yourself in him. To see yourself as worthy, as a hero, as his equal.â She shook her head. âBut then you wake up and remember youâre you and not him. That youâll never be him. And suddenly, his cause isnât yours anymore. His team isnât yours anymore.â
It wasnât that Natasha disagreed with what Steve was doing. The world needed the Avengers more than ever. But the Avengers werenât really the Avengers to her anymore. They were⌠Team Captain America.
Her face dropped as if offended. âThatâs why you want me to stay here? Because you have twenty unused floors?â She frowned. âAnd here I thought it was because you liked having me around.â
She shook her head. âIt wasnât survival. It was selfishness. It was a desire, a need, to be the best. It was a fear of failure.â
Natasha watched Stark move the glass around on the table, as he spoke.
âTony,â she said softly, once he had fallen silent.
She opened her mouth a handful of times, but found herself at a loss for words. How do you convince someone their not responsible for something that hadnât happened?
She stood up from her chair and walked over to him. âWeâre not dead, Tony.â She whispered, wrapping her arms around him and hugging him.
Tony laughed, a quiet, beaten little thing, at the thought that he had tried so hard to push everyone away all his life, that when he finally gave up and tried to do what the world needed (and would likely get him killed), that it was then that people started missing him. He hadnât thought heâd gotten any easier to get along with, just that he had stopped being an asshole in increasing his body count. Though even that hadnât quite happened - it just happened to be alien kills and not human casualties. Did that make it better?
He froze when she wrapped her arms around him, a little startled but more in shock at how much he had needed the touch, the comfort of a friend. Heâd thought his list of friends had shrunk to five after the recent events (Pepper, Rhodey, Happy, Friday and Jarvis). It was...kind of shattering, to realize he still had Natasha. âNo, but you could have been, and it would have been my fault anyway.â Perhaps just how afraid he was had been lost on Steve, the unflappable golden boy of America that he was. Perhaps losing everyone you knew, loved or hated, made you unafraid of dying for a cause. Perhaps Tony was just selfish and weak, like his father had always said. He reached up, squeezed Natashaâs arm gently, and moved to disengage himself. As much as he reveled in the comfort of touch, it was...easier, to step back into the old Tonyâs shoes, the Tony who couldnât be hurt by anything.
âWell, when you put it that way, I would like to inform you that I would absolutely last more than a day if I was doing it out of spite. I can do anything forever if itâs out of spite,â he huffed, half-laughing as he stood up slowly, moving slowly as if every bend of his muscles pained him. There was sweet sweet pizza waiting in the elevator though (Friday had buzzed his phone to let him know), so he went for it anyway, only half attempting to compose himself in front of Natasha.
âWell, I have twenty unused floors, and Iâd like you in them. In the most innocent way possible. Or not, yâknow.â He winked even as he stiffly bent to pick up the pizzas sitting on the takeout shelf in the elevator, bringing them back and dumping them on top of all the glass shards. He went to the kitchen to get something to drink, though without alcohol he was more or less limited to sparkling water. âThirsty?â He asked, reaching for a drink from the fridge.Â
âAre you telling me Iâm not? A villain? I mean Iâd like to think that Iâd at least qualify for super-villain, but thatâs semantics.â Tony barely glanced at the bloody shards heâd already pulled out of his arms, scattered across the table as he flung them away with each pull. He expected an arrest order, or at least detainment by Hill, perhaps under Furyâs suggestion.Â
âWe just blew up a city and youâre telling me youâre not hungry?â He laughed, a quiet, strained thing, and pulled a few pizzas at random off the menu that Friday pulled up and waved them off to have her put the order in. He didnât mention that she held herself differently - just slightly, nowhere near what anyone would normally see, but he bet that it was much the same emotion that was probably a lot clearer on his own face. The Scarlet WitchâsâŚWandaâs (entirely scientifically explainable) magic still haunted Tony, and he hadnât slept since that day in Sokovia. Seeing Natasha, in front of him, alive, was a good attempt to banish the image of her dead body lying against chitauri steps.
âYouâve met Loki, you created Ultron,â she shook her head, âyouâre far from a villain, Stark. Although, the latter could maybe put you on the list of âPotential Villains.â
She shrugged, âblowing up cities doesnât exactly excite hunger within me. Actually, it kind of turns me off to the whole idea.â
She closed her hand into a fist, leaving the rest of the pieces of the lab untouched by her. She didnât need a physical reminder of how broken everything was. The steady beat of her heart reminded her enough.
Leaning against the nearest counter, she slowly folded her arms across her chest. âWhat do you think happens next, Stark?â
It was a loaded question - one that she wasnât even certain had an answer - but it was one that had haunted her since they had left Bartonâs farm.
âYeah, well, if Loki is what i have to look at, Iâm probably not in great shape. I mean, have you seen how many Defining Characteristics we share?â He grinned, for a moment, a real, crooked thing. âRight up to the Unattainable Standard of Perfect Blond Hero!â Okay, so he was probably a little delirious on lack of sleep and a few too many painkillers, but hey. Natasha was great at keeping secrets. She would use them against you, if she wanted to, but she wouldnât give them out to anyone. Except maybe Clint. But he was wearing a suspicious lack of friendship bracelet, lately, so maybe not anymore.
âFair enough. I donât remember the last time I ate something, so four pizzas should do.â He honestly couldnât remember what the Tower looked like not a week ago, a quiet party bringing it to life. It was a monument of crushed glass, now. A reminder that every time Tony tried to make something for himself, a home, friends, anything, it always shattered in his face.
âNext?â Tony turned to look at her, swallowing, having avoided the question until then. âI spend whatever time I have left trying to bring back Jarvis. I expect some government is going to want me punished, if they find out. Then again, people thought Hammer could have arc tech, so maybe Iâve got longer than I thought. I imagine Capâs off to start his new Adopted Strays project.â Tony didnât mention that he was probably not invited. That, oh how the tables had turned, and he was now the useless one. Or perhaps too useful, and extremely dangerous. âWhat about you? Whatâs next for you?â
âIf it makes you feel any better, Stark, youâre far better looking than Loki. Although,â she tapped her chin thoughtfully. âHe does have that who Asgardian accent going for him. And thereâs the whole him being a god thing. On the other hand, heâs also known to throw tantrums that tend to almost bring about the end of the world. So, yeah.â She nodded. âIâd pick you. Every time.â
She decided not to point out the fact that she didnât plan on eating. That she couldnât eat. That the mess of emotions rollercoasting their way through her body made it impossible for her to eat.
âCan JARVIS be brought back? I mean, isnât he Vision? And besides, donât you have your girl FRIDAY now?â
Natasha was intelligent, but even she didnât understand the inner workings of Starkâs AIâs.
She shook her head, âno oneâs coming for you. No oneâs every going to come for you. No matter how much you want them to. No matter how much you need to be found worthless, just so you can go look in a mirror and tell yourself your father had been right. He wasnât. He isnât. The world needs you, Stark. Far more than they ever needed your father and far more than you ever needed him.â
Natasha glanced down at her perfectly manicured nails, for what felt like hours, before glancing back up at Stark. âI havenât the faintest idea. Cap wants me to help him run the Avengers Facility. Fury wants me to go after Banner. And Hawkeye wants me to fucking babysit.â
âNextâ had always been such a loaded word to Natasha. Mostly because ânextâ hadnât always been her choice. And now that the choice was hers, she wasnât entirely sure she wanted it to be.
âHa. Well, I did always pride myself on my good looks. Did you know thereâs a Tony Stark cologne? Smells like car oil, singed cloth, and sweat. Probably blood too, but maybe they just called that âsharp ironâ.â She probably did know. She probably knew everything about him that there was to know. She definitely knew more about his dad than he ever did.Â
âIâm notâŚquite sure. I mean, yes? No? Vision isnât Jarvis. He doesnât treat me the same, for a start. Iâd like to think that no matter how crazy I am, Jarvis will still love me. Jarvis was an AI, and Vision isâŚas far as I can tellâŚnot? And Jarvis dumped all of his data when Ultron tried to kill him, so heâsâŚheâs gotta be out there.â Tony Stark may be a proponent for change, and an advocate for human advancement, but he was also possessive as all hell. Not sentimental. Just viciously protective of whatâs his. âFridayâs great - youâre awesome, Friday - but sheâs not Jarvis.â There was a lot that went unsaid with a sentence like that, but he trusted Natasha to figure it out, if anyone else could.
He didnât quite know what to say to that. Perhaps he was needed. But he had also proven just how dangerous he was. Just how much terror took hold of him and overrode all other sense. Just how fucking terrified he had been of losing what he thought was a family. He may have lost it anyway in his desperate attempts to save it, haunted by âWhy didnât you do more?â âMaybe someone should,â he said, more to his forceps than to Natasha.
âSounds like everyone has a job for you,â Tony said, looking up at where she stood, and gesturing to a chair that was less full of glass than the rest. âThough the babysitting one sounds like the worst by far.â He shrugged. âIf none of those employment options sound good, well. Your access codes donât expire. And Iâve gotâŚwell, it needs a little fixing, but Iâve got the best anti-paparazzi tech there is.â You can stay here and no one will bother you. Except me, of course. But perhaps that was presumptuous of him - she was probably less wanted than him, and she certainly hadnât gone off the rails when Wanda didâŚwhatever she did.Â
He put the tools down for a moment, hesitated, and then picked them back up. âWhat didâŚWandaâŚdo to you?â It was barely a whisper of breath, and his hand was clutched around the forceps so tightly his knuckles went white.
âI own a bottle or two,â Natasha replied shrugging. âAnd it definitely doesnât smell anything like blood, Stark. Surprisingly though, it does smell an awful lot like you.â The smallest of smiles played at the corners of her mouth. âYou sold your sweat on EBAY, didnât you?â
Natasha listened to Stark ramble on about JARVIS and understood all the things he wasnât saying. JARVIS loved Tony for exactly who and what Tony was. He never asked him to pretend to be something he wasnât. He never required him to be someone he wasnât. JARVIS loved Tony completely. The good and the bad, the beautiful and the ugly, and Tony missed that. Tony needed that.
Natasha understood that need, even if she couldnât remember ever feeling it.
She sighed. âStark, if you want me to arrest you, if you want me to lock you away in some super secret jail cell - just ask. I still know people. Hell, I even know the wannabe new head of HYRDA. One phone call and I can have you shipped away, never to be heard from again.â Her eyes leveled with Starkâs. âJust know, if I make that call, if I do that, itâs not because someone wanted it to happen, itâs because you wanted it to happen.â She shook her head. âYouâre better than all this self-doubt and self-pity, Stark. I know it, and I know you know it too.â
Tilting the seat Stark offered her forward, she watched as the broken shards of glass tumbled to the ground. They looked beautiful reflected in the sunlight, until she lifted her head and again saw the damage they were a part of.
âPeople think the Avengers are an idea, but I never saw them as that. I saw the Avengers as a group of specific individuals. Us, Thor, Cap, Hawkeye, Hulk.â She shook her head again. âCapâs heart is in the right place and his idea is solid, but itâs his vision and I donât see it like he does.â
She laughed at the idea of her babysitting. She loved Hawkeyeâs children as if they were her own flesh and blood, but thatâs where it ended. She didnât want to have a hand in raising them. That sheâd always leave to their parents.
She smiled. âThanks, Stark. I may just take you up on that offer.â
Her mind had already accepted his offer. Knowing that, at least for now, staying at the tower with Stark was exactly where she wanted to be.
Her eyes closed at Tonyâs question, weighing her options. She knew she didnât have to to tell Stark what she saw. That he would accept that she didnât want to tell him, and leave it at that.
Opening her eyes, she glanced down at Tonyâs hands, before raising her gaze to his. âShe showed me my past. And in doing so, she reminded me that Iâm a monster.â She paused, taking a deep breath. âAnd not for the reasons I let Banner believe, but because I chose to not be one of the breakable ones. I chose to kill instead of be killed. I chose to be one of - no, I chose to be the best. I refused to fail. I refused to disappoint. She reminded me that my nightmares are all of me.â
âAbsolutely not,â Tony huffed. âIt must have been one of those crazy reporters from back before Afghanistan. At least theyâre dedicated to accuracy, though I donât know who would wear it and also know what I smell like. You donât wear it, do you?â His eyebrow was quirked in amusement at the notion that she owned that cologne.
âYeah yeah, you know how it is. Havenât had a scotch in a day or two, havenât talked to anyone except Friday, etcetera etcetera. It almost sounds like you want to get me hired for the villains.â Alcohol and pain meds didnât exactly mix, and although Tony usually ignored those kinds of warnings, heâd been on a lot of pain meds for a while now.
âCap is a Gryffindor - what he says is just is right, and nothing can change his mind. Luckily, for the most part, those have been good things. Sort of.â Steve hadnât been the same since the whole debacle with the winter soldier, and Tony couldnât help but wonder if he was in such a hurry to train his shiny new team to go hunt down his old friend.Â
Tony shrugged. âItâs not like I can take up twenty floors by myself.â It had been too quiet with the Avengers gone. A solitude heâd more than likely have to get used to. As usual.
âYou chose to survive,â he pointed out. âAnd it led to you saving the world. A couple of times. Iâd say it was a pretty good choice.â He shuffled the bloody glass shards around on the table, pushing them into indecipherable shapes. âShe showed me my worst fear. That all of you died because of me. That I didnât do enough.â That dark pit, those glowing steps, his dead friends. Another neat image tied up into a bow to haunt him for the rest of his life, along with flying into a wormhole and Yinsen.Â

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âAre you telling me Iâm not? A villain? I mean Iâd like to think that Iâd at least qualify for super-villain, but thatâs semantics.â Tony barely glanced at the bloody shards heâd already pulled out of his arms, scattered across the table as he flung them away with each pull. He expected an arrest order, or at least detainment by Hill, perhaps under Furyâs suggestion.Â
âWe just blew up a city and youâre telling me youâre not hungry?â He laughed, a quiet, strained thing, and pulled a few pizzas at random off the menu that Friday pulled up and waved them off to have her put the order in. He didnât mention that she held herself differently - just slightly, nowhere near what anyone would normally see, but he bet that it was much the same emotion that was probably a lot clearer on his own face. The Scarlet WitchâsâŚWandaâs (entirely scientifically explainable) magic still haunted Tony, and he hadnât slept since that day in Sokovia. Seeing Natasha, in front of him, alive, was a good attempt to banish the image of her dead body lying against chitauri steps.
âYouâve met Loki, you created Ultron,â she shook her head, âyouâre far from a villain, Stark. Although, the latter could maybe put you on the list of âPotential Villains.â
She shrugged, âblowing up cities doesnât exactly excite hunger within me. Actually, it kind of turns me off to the whole idea.â
She closed her hand into a fist, leaving the rest of the pieces of the lab untouched by her. She didnât need a physical reminder of how broken everything was. The steady beat of her heart reminded her enough.
Leaning against the nearest counter, she slowly folded her arms across her chest. âWhat do you think happens next, Stark?â
It was a loaded question - one that she wasnât even certain had an answer - but it was one that had haunted her since they had left Bartonâs farm.
âYeah, well, if Loki is what i have to look at, Iâm probably not in great shape. I mean, have you seen how many Defining Characteristics we share?â He grinned, for a moment, a real, crooked thing. âRight up to the Unattainable Standard of Perfect Blond Hero!â Okay, so he was probably a little delirious on lack of sleep and a few too many painkillers, but hey. Natasha was great at keeping secrets. She would use them against you, if she wanted to, but she wouldnât give them out to anyone. Except maybe Clint. But he was wearing a suspicious lack of friendship bracelet, lately, so maybe not anymore.
âFair enough. I donât remember the last time I ate something, so four pizzas should do.â He honestly couldnât remember what the Tower looked like not a week ago, a quiet party bringing it to life. It was a monument of crushed glass, now. A reminder that every time Tony tried to make something for himself, a home, friends, anything, it always shattered in his face.
âNext?â Tony turned to look at her, swallowing, having avoided the question until then. âI spend whatever time I have left trying to bring back Jarvis. I expect some government is going to want me punished, if they find out. Then again, people thought Hammer could have arc tech, so maybe Iâve got longer than I thought. I imagine Capâs off to start his new Adopted Strays project.â Tony didnât mention that he was probably not invited. That, oh how the tables had turned, and he was now the useless one. Or perhaps too useful, and extremely dangerous. âWhat about you? Whatâs next for you?â
âIf it makes you feel any better, Stark, youâre far better looking than Loki. Although,â she tapped her chin thoughtfully. âHe does have that who Asgardian accent going for him. And thereâs the whole him being a god thing. On the other hand, heâs also known to throw tantrums that tend to almost bring about the end of the world. So, yeah.â She nodded. âIâd pick you. Every time.â
She decided not to point out the fact that she didnât plan on eating. That she couldnât eat. That the mess of emotions rollercoasting their way through her body made it impossible for her to eat.
âCan JARVIS be brought back? I mean, isnât he Vision? And besides, donât you have your girl FRIDAY now?â
Natasha was intelligent, but even she didnât understand the inner workings of Starkâs AIâs.
She shook her head, âno oneâs coming for you. No oneâs every going to come for you. No matter how much you want them to. No matter how much you need to be found worthless, just so you can go look in a mirror and tell yourself your father had been right. He wasnât. He isnât. The world needs you, Stark. Far more than they ever needed your father and far more than you ever needed him.â
Natasha glanced down at her perfectly manicured nails, for what felt like hours, before glancing back up at Stark. âI havenât the faintest idea. Cap wants me to help him run the Avengers Facility. Fury wants me to go after Banner. And Hawkeye wants me to fucking babysit.â
âNextâ had always been such a loaded word to Natasha. Mostly because ânextâ hadnât always been her choice. And now that the choice was hers, she wasnât entirely sure she wanted it to be.
âHa. Well, I did always pride myself on my good looks. Did you know thereâs a Tony Stark cologne? Smells like car oil, singed cloth, and sweat. Probably blood too, but maybe they just called that âsharp ironâ.â She probably did know. She probably knew everything about him that there was to know. She definitely knew more about his dad than he ever did.Â
âIâm not...quite sure. I mean, yes? No? Vision isnât Jarvis. He doesnât treat me the same, for a start. Iâd like to think that no matter how crazy I am, Jarvis will still love me. Jarvis was an AI, and Vision is...as far as I can tell...not? And Jarvis dumped all of his data when Ultron tried to kill him, so heâs...heâs gotta be out there.â Tony Stark may be a proponent for change, and an advocate for human advancement, but he was also possessive as all hell. Not sentimental. Just viciously protective of whatâs his. âFridayâs great - youâre awesome, Friday - but sheâs not Jarvis.â There was a lot that went unsaid with a sentence like that, but he trusted Natasha to figure it out, if anyone else could.
He didnât quite know what to say to that. Perhaps he was needed. But he had also proven just how dangerous he was. Just how much terror took hold of him and overrode all other sense. Just how fucking terrified he had been of losing what he thought was a family. He may have lost it anyway in his desperate attempts to save it, haunted by âWhy didnât you do more?â âMaybe someone should,â he said, more to his forceps than to Natasha.
âSounds like everyone has a job for you,â Tony said, looking up at where she stood, and gesturing to a chair that was less full of glass than the rest. âThough the babysitting one sounds like the worst by far.â He shrugged. âIf none of those employment options sound good, well. Your access codes donât expire. And Iâve got...well, it needs a little fixing, but Iâve got the best anti-paparazzi tech there is.â You can stay here and no one will bother you. Except me, of course. But perhaps that was presumptuous of him - she was probably less wanted than him, and she certainly hadnât gone off the rails when Wanda did...whatever she did.Â
He put the tools down for a moment, hesitated, and then picked them back up. âWhat did...Wanda...do to you?â It was barely a whisper of breath, and his hand was clutched around the forceps so tightly his knuckles went white.
âAre you telling me Iâm not? A villain? I mean Iâd like to think that Iâd at least qualify for super-villain, but thatâs semantics.â Tony barely glanced at the bloody shards heâd already pulled out of his arms, scattered across the table as he flung them away with each pull. He expected an arrest order, or at least detainment by Hill, perhaps under Furyâs suggestion.Â
âWe just blew up a city and youâre telling me youâre not hungry?â He laughed, a quiet, strained thing, and pulled a few pizzas at random off the menu that Friday pulled up and waved them off to have her put the order in. He didnât mention that she held herself differently - just slightly, nowhere near what anyone would normally see, but he bet that it was much the same emotion that was probably a lot clearer on his own face. The Scarlet WitchâsâŚWandaâs (entirely scientifically explainable) magic still haunted Tony, and he hadnât slept since that day in Sokovia. Seeing Natasha, in front of him, alive, was a good attempt to banish the image of her dead body lying against chitauri steps.
âYouâve met Loki, you created Ultron,â she shook her head, âyouâre far from a villain, Stark. Although, the latter could maybe put you on the list of âPotential Villains.â
She shrugged, âblowing up cities doesnât exactly excite hunger within me. Actually, it kind of turns me off to the whole idea.â
She closed her hand into a fist, leaving the rest of the pieces of the lab untouched by her. She didnât need a physical reminder of how broken everything was. The steady beat of her heart reminded her enough.
Leaning against the nearest counter, she slowly folded her arms across her chest. âWhat do you think happens next, Stark?â
It was a loaded question - one that she wasnât even certain had an answer - but it was one that had haunted her since they had left Bartonâs farm.
âYeah, well, if Loki is what i have to look at, Iâm probably not in great shape. I mean, have you seen how many Defining Characteristics we share?â He grinned, for a moment, a real, crooked thing. âRight up to the Unattainable Standard of Perfect Blond Hero!â Okay, so he was probably a little delirious on lack of sleep and a few too many painkillers, but hey. Natasha was great at keeping secrets. She would use them against you, if she wanted to, but she wouldnât give them out to anyone. Except maybe Clint. But he was wearing a suspicious lack of friendship bracelet, lately, so maybe not anymore.
âFair enough. I donât remember the last time I ate something, so four pizzas should do.â He honestly couldnât remember what the Tower looked like not a week ago, a quiet party bringing it to life. It was a monument of crushed glass, now. A reminder that every time Tony tried to make something for himself, a home, friends, anything, it always shattered in his face.
âNext?â Tony turned to look at her, swallowing, having avoided the question until then. âI spend whatever time I have left trying to bring back Jarvis. I expect some government is going to want me punished, if they find out. Then again, people thought Hammer could have arc tech, so maybe Iâve got longer than I thought. I imagine Capâs off to start his new Adopted Strays project.â Tony didnât mention that he was probably not invited. That, oh how the tables had turned, and he was now the useless one. Or perhaps too useful, and extremely dangerous. âWhat about you? Whatâs next for you?â
âIf I expected the worst of you, I would have locked the door,â Tony replied,  a slight twist of the lips and a raised eyebrow aimed at her. âNot that it would have stopped you, but it might have bought me a minute or two. But hey, letâs save the tying up for when Iâm not full of glass.â
âSeriously though, food? Friday, get me a menu or five. The usual places.â Tony waved Natasha into the room, not quite sure why she was here and not with the rest of the Avengers, but not being openly against it - quietly, he was glad to see her.
âIâm sorry, boss. It seems that that information was part of a packet that Jarvis dumped. I have not recovered it yet.â Tony attempted to suppress a flinch at the words, aware of Natasha watching him, but it wasnât entirely successful.
âJust get me a menu from the nearest pizza place that will deliver.â
âYou and I both know youâd let me in, even if you knew I was coming to kill you. Not because youâd want to die - because you and I both know Iâd succeed in killing you - but because youâd want to know. Youâd want to know if I finally betrayed you or if you had finally stopped being a hero and had become a villain.â
Natasha cracked a smile, as if she knew a secret the world wished it knew, and stepped over the threshold into Starkâs workshop.
Everything was everywhere, evidence that Ultron had been real and not a terrible nightmare. She ran her hands over upturned tables and broken pieces of metal that so resembled what the Avengers had become. Before they had been organized chaos, now, Natasha wasnât even sure they were a âtheyâ anymore.
âEveryone keeps trying to feed me,â she laughed, not looking at Stark. âDo I look like Iâm starving or something?â
âAre you telling me Iâm not? A villain? I mean Iâd like to think that Iâd at least qualify for super-villain, but thatâs semantics.â Tony barely glanced at the bloody shards heâd already pulled out of his arms, scattered across the table as he flung them away with each pull. He expected an arrest order, or at least detainment by Hill, perhaps under Furyâs suggestion.Â
âWe just blew up a city and youâre telling me youâre not hungry?â He laughed, a quiet, strained thing, and pulled a few pizzas at random off the menu that Friday pulled up and waved them off to have her put the order in. He didnât mention that she held herself differently - just slightly, nowhere near what anyone would normally see, but he bet that it was much the same emotion that was probably a lot clearer on his own face. The Scarlet Witchâs...Wandaâs (entirely scientifically explainable) magic still haunted Tony, and he hadnât slept since that day in Sokovia. Seeing Natasha, in front of him, alive, was a good attempt to banish the image of her dead body lying against chitauri steps.
Tony would probably have been startled into pushing the glass in his forceps into his shoulder had Friday not told him that someone was at the door. He almost did, just from the shock of hearing Friday and not Jarvis.Â
Natashaâs voice was a surprise, and his hands shook for a moment as he looked at the ruins of the floor, at the empty room, and at the very-alive assassin at the door. Â
âWell, you know how it is, one minute youâre staying to exchange pleasantries, the next theyâre putting handcuffs on you. Are youâŚhere to do that?â he asked suddenly, spinning around in his chair and putting down the forceps in his hand.Â
âBecause if you are, Iâd like to call some takeout. Iâm starving. You want anything?â
âWhen are you going to stop expecting the worst from me Stark?â Natasha frowned, folding her arms over her chest. âYou canât still be bitter over that whole me stabbing you in the neck thing, because, if you want to get technical â youâre the one who lead a giant murdering alien worm over to me and called it a party. I think that should at least make us even. However, if you ask me, giant alien worm?â She shrugged, âjust a smidge worst than saving your life.â She cocked her head to side, âhandcuffs, really? If you wanted me to tie you up, Stark, all you had to do was ask.â
âIf I expected the worst of you, I would have locked the door,â Tony replied,  a slight twist of the lips and a raised eyebrow aimed at her. âNot that it would have stopped you, but it might have bought me a minute or two. But hey, letâs save the tying up for when Iâm not full of glass.â
âSeriously though, food? Friday, get me a menu or five. The usual places.â Tony waved Natasha into the room, not quite sure why she was here and not with the rest of the Avengers, but not being openly against it - quietly, he was glad to see her.
âIâm sorry, boss. It seems that that information was part of a packet that Jarvis dumped. I have not recovered it yet.â Tony attempted to suppress a flinch at the words, aware of Natasha watching him, but it wasnât entirely successful.
âJust get me a menu from the nearest pizza place that will deliver.â
Strike Team Delta

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No, throw it up, Iâm kidding.
Tony was not subtle in the least after the battle at Sokovia. As soon as the city splintered to pieces, he was on his way out. Had his suit not flashed a life-sign in the water - Thorâs - he would have been in the next country. As it stood, he dove under, despite his very real fear of pieces of concrete tumbling down at him while underwater, and grabbed the god by the cape, pulling up until he could get his arms under him. Mjolnir wasnât in his hand, but it wasnât that much of an issue, and Tony focused instead on getting them out from under the raining debris. Steve was shouting something, but Tony ignored it, setting Thor down at the entry to the helicarrierâs pressurized rooms and making sure a med crew picked him up.Â
They held the door for him, but he just shot off into the sky with a jaunty wave.Â
âFriday, cut the radio chatter.â
âYes, boss.â
And then it was quiet. No more Steve yelling, no Hulk roars to wake him from the nightmare - but this one was real - no Hawkeye to snark at him, no Natasha seeing right through him. He thought heâd had something. He thought heâd had a home.
It was clear how quickly a vision of the truth tore that to shreds.
So he flew home to his damaged tower, irritated at the Avengers A plastered on the side, tempted to set it aflame with a tank missile, but ignored it and set down on the landing pad. It was only after getting the last piece of armor removed from him that he realized just how many injuries heâd collected over the last few days, and he very nearly stumbled to his knees.
Instead, he went to his workshop, sat down heavily, and pulled up the towersâ systems. âFriday, find meâŚgather everything you can find on Jarvis. Find his memory dumps, his protocols, everything. Iâd say his naptime is over.âÂ
âYou got it, boss.â
He set about picking glass out of his shoulders as she started the work, and ignored the quiet stillness of an empty, destroyed tower. Fitting imagery, he supposed, for a man who had it all and yet nothing.
Banner had called them a time-bomb. He had said they were destined to exploded. And explode they had. Along with an entire city. Banner was lost to them. Barton had returned to the family Natasha had never been comfortable with knowing about. Nor after all they had been through. Not after all the broken promises they had made in the dark. Thor had returned to Asgard. Cap acted as if all was fine, as if he wasnât haunted by things Natasha could see swimming behind his eyes. And then there was Stark, who unlike Banner wasnât lost, just gone. Natasha has considered staying behind and helping Cap, but in the end, she found herself in New York staring up at the building that had, for a moment, felt like him. The doors still opened at her approached, which she took as a good sign. It meant Stark hadnât removed her from his systems. At least not yet. She found him, picking glass out of his own shoulders, and she shook her head with a small laugh. Leave it to Stark to even make that look casual. Like picking glass out of ones own shoulders was something that everyone did daily. âYou left without saying goodbye, Stark,â she remarked casually, leaning against the doorframe.
Tony would probably have been startled into pushing the glass in his forceps into his shoulder had Friday not told him that someone was at the door. He almost did, just from the shock of hearing Friday and not Jarvis.Â
Natashaâs voice was a surprise, and his hands shook for a moment as he looked at the ruins of the floor, at the empty room, and at the very-alive assassin at the door. Â
âWell, you know how it is, one minute youâre staying to exchange pleasantries, the next theyâre putting handcuffs on you. Are you...here to do that?â he asked suddenly, spinning around in his chair and putting down the forceps in his hand.Â
âBecause if you are, Iâd like to call some takeout. Iâm starving. You want anything?â Â
Tony was not subtle in the least after the battle at Sokovia. As soon as the city splintered to pieces, he was on his way out. Had his suit not flashed a life-sign in the water - Thorâs - he would have been in the next country. As it stood, he dove under, despite his very real fear of pieces of concrete tumbling down at him while underwater, and grabbed the god by the cape, pulling up until he could get his arms under him. Mjolnir wasnât in his hand, but it wasnât that much of an issue, and Tony focused instead on getting them out from under the raining debris. Steve was shouting something, but Tony ignored it, setting Thor down at the entry to the helicarrierâs pressurized rooms and making sure a med crew picked him up.Â
They held the door for him, but he just shot off into the sky with a jaunty wave.Â
âFriday, cut the radio chatter.â
âYes, boss.â
And then it was quiet. No more Steve yelling, no Hulk roars to wake him from the nightmare - but this one was real - no Hawkeye to snark at him, no Natasha seeing right through him. He thought heâd had something. He thought heâd had a home.
It was clear how quickly a vision of the truth tore that to shreds.
So he flew home to his damaged tower, irritated at the Avengers A plastered on the side, tempted to set it aflame with a tank missile, but ignored it and set down on the landing pad. It was only after getting the last piece of armor removed from him that he realized just how many injuries heâd collected over the last few days, and he very nearly stumbled to his knees.
Instead, he went to his workshop, sat down heavily, and pulled up the towersâ systems. âFriday, find me...gather everything you can find on Jarvis. Find his memory dumps, his protocols, everything. Iâd say his naptime is over.âÂ
âYou got it, boss.â
He set about picking glass out of his shoulders as she started the work, and ignored the quiet stillness of an empty, destroyed tower. Fitting imagery, he supposed, for a man who had it all and yet nothing.
calling all Steveâs!
if youâre:Â
a) disappointed in cap in aou
b) NOT disappointed in cap but would like to be
c) disappointed in tony
d) need a tony
orÂ
e) all of the above
hit me up! Iâd love some rp and I desperately need a steve c:
Does anybody remember when I put a missile through a portal, in New York City? We were standing right under it. Weâre the Avengers, we can bust weapons dealers the whole doo-da-day, but how do we cope with something like that?Â

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Guess whoâs back, bitches.
Picking up the Pieces
By the time Natasha made it up to the top floors, Tony had moved onto tinkering with the arms of the suit, his arm covered in red and gold up to the shoulder, the repulsor humming in his palm. It was a subconscious decision to start tinkering with one of the weaponized parts of the suit, and he only noticed it once Natasha made her presence known, frowning at the movement that had been instinct. Heâd been betrayed a few too many times, he supposed.
At her greeting, just like his back in Stuttgart, he couldnât help but smirk lopsidedly and look up. âYou look like youâve been busy these last couple days. Found some pictures of you pretending to be married to Steve.â It had been amusing, watching that pop up on the internet, the night after it had happened. Some shrewd teenager had seen through their - admittedly shoddy - disguises and snapped some pictures for the rest of the world.Â
"But you know itâs just not the same without you here. No constant danger, except for wellâŚme." He looked up at her, putting down the screwdriver in his suit, the repulsor whirring in reply to the end of his work, pulsing with a hum in his hand.Â
"What are you doing here, anyway?"
Natashaâs eyes travelled to Starkâs half-suited arm and the glowing repulsor in the palm of his hand. A normal person would feel hurt that Stark didnât trust them. Natasha felt honored that was still able to instill some kind of distrust in those closest to her.
She smirked, âI thought dating Rogers would be good for me. Make the world believe I was turning over a new leaf.â
She had read some of the headlines herself. Most of them proclaiming the worlds deadliest assassin had left the world of murder and manipulation and had joined her âheroâ boyfriend as an Avenger. She had even believed it long enough to help Rogers take down HYDRA and SHIELD alongside it.
She ran her hand along one of the many metal tables in the room, as she shrugged. âAll my secrets are out, Stark. Not just some or most of them, but all of them. Every lie, every manipulation, every everything. Everyone knows everything there is to know about Natasha Romanoff.â
Which wasnât completely true. Natashaâs secrets had secrets, and some of them were hidden so far down that even Natasha didnât know them. But on the surface, she had become transparent. Everyone could see her for exactly who she was - which was whatever anyone had needed her to be.
She looked up at Stark, with his one arm covered in the armor he wore to become the hero he refused to be without it, and shrugged again. That was her way of letting him know that out of all the places and people she couldâve trusted, she had chosen him.
Tony snorted - they made a cute couple, sure, but he was absolutely positive that Steve was far too naive  and innocent for Natasha. And that his undying, unwavering patriotism, all of the time, would make her choke. It nearly made him sick, and he didn't spend all that much time with Steve in the first place.
He tracked her movement across the room with his eyes, watching her blend into the shadows of the dimly lit room as if she belonged there, even in her civilian clothes and out of her catsuit. Tony's desk lamp spread a small halo of light into the workshop, but the rest was illuminated by the blue in his palm and the muted blue in his chest.Â
Tony would be lying if he said that JARVIS hadn't grabbed the information as soon as it was put live, taking everything that they did not already have and storing it in a file somewhere. Not that he planned to read it anytime soon, but...just in case.Â
"So, you...what, came here to join the clubhouse of superheroes with their identities out to the public? It's not as fun as it seems, I promise. Mail all the time, and messages and emails and god knows what. You'll get sick of it real quick." He smirked crookedly, confused because she could have killed him in an instant, and yet here she was. Maybe JARVIS had gotten some incorrect information?