i like men, sharon

what a lot of people may not know is how absolutely, incredibly nasty it got in the tags. people started making posts about how most bi women were “faking it,” that “bihets” were invading the community and should kill themselves, that bi women were responsible for lesbians getting raped, that bi people deserved the abuse we got because we’re “liars and cheaters.” 

new blogs kept popping up every day dedicated to mocking “bi tumblr” by adding comments about “breeders” or “fakers” onto bi positivity posts or screenshotting bi people’s posts out of context to justify harassment. people started adding “biphobe” to their url or description like it was some kind of joke, mocking the idea that biphobia even existed because “sweetie it’s just misdirected homophobia :))) you’re lucky we even allow you in :)))))”

so when y’all do the exact same thing to a-spec people and then turn around and tell us it’s for our own “”protection””” like… what kind of gall does that take? how fucking gullible do you think we are? 

the use of gendered language, whether in law or in company guidelines, has been used as an excuse to exclude trans people from various kinds of reproductive healthcare. there have been stories of abortion providers pointing to the use of “pregnant women” in all clinic literature to justify not giving trans men assistance. there are issues where “women’s health clinics” will refuse to accept referrals for anyone who doesn’t have “F” on their records, which of course includes many trans women. there are in turn stories of trans women being unable to access “male” prostrate cancer screening.

language in this sort of capacity needs to be as factual and neutral and carefully constructed to avoid loopholes as possible. at this stage in my life, as a non-woman capable of pregnancy, i don’t really CARE anymore if you talk casually about pregnancy as something that happens to women. but i DO care if the medical system writes out some guidelines that, in only acknowledging pregnant women as a possibility, open me up to the possibility of being denied care by transphobes who can claim they’re just following the rules.

it’s for reasons like this that some people don’t get their gender markers changed, but that in itself creates dangerous situations when their marker doesn’t match their presented gender - I’ve heard horror stories of people getting arrested after being pulled over by a cop who thought they were lying about their identity.

Me:

No you literally don’t.

Kinks and fetishes are WAYS someone has sex; they describe sexual BEHAVIOR. Asexual is a SEXUALITY, just like LGB, and one that is marginalized for not conforming to heteronormativity - just like LGB.

If you don’t want kinksters in the community all you have to do is say no sorry, LGBT+ is for marginalized SEXUALITIES and GENDER IDENTITIES, not for deviant sexual BEHAVIOR. Simple as that.

Black Trans Man Arrested, Immediate Bail Support Needed.

A request for support from Dean’s friends and fam:

Earlier today, Dean, a Black Trans masculine person was arrested in Atlanta, Georgia, after a routine traffic stop. After being stopped, he was questioned repeatedly about the validity of his driver’s license. The officer believed that Dean was deceiving him, lying about his identity. Dean was taken to the detention center.

This happens often to Trans people who are unable to change the gender marker/name on their license. Because of the officer’s transphobia, he assumed Dean was lying.

Some of you maybe familiar with Dean, an Atlanta -based community organizer and activist. He is currently being detained at the Atlanta City Detention Center. He has been placed with the “female” population, where he will be kept until his community, family, and friends raise bail.

Bail is currently set at $315. We know that it’s a lot to ask. But on behalf of our friend, we’re asking that each person, who read this, donate just .99 or $1. A little can go a long way.

Can’t donate? Help us get the word out, BOOST!

Where to donate?

Donate now. A $5 donation, is $5 closer to freedom. Thank you to everyone who has already donated. 🙏🏾✨ Stay Up!

There are lesbians and bi women who are not penis-repulsed.

And there are some who are penis-repulsed.

“I would never date a trans woman,” is transphobic because it is a blanket statement on all trans women, implying they are men.

Fucking deal with it

Not being attracted to trans people isn’t transphobic

Not being attracted anyone for anything isn’t bigoted

Nobody owes anyone attraction or sex or a date

Some people are attracted to trans people and some aren’t

No!

You don’t get to decide who other people date or fuck

You not getting a date or not getting laid isn’t oppression or bigotry

Nobody owes anyone a date or sex

Nobody has to be attracted to anyone or date anyone or have sex with anyone

Is it homophobic for a straight man to not be attracted to men?? No! Because he’s just not attracted to gay men.

Is it fatphobic for me to not be attracted to fat people? No! Im just not attracted to fat people.

You don’t even know what bigotry is if you’re saying it’s transphobic to not be attracted to trans people.

Fine

FINE: “This trans man is short. I’m not attracted to short guys. So I don’t want to date this trans man.”

BAD: “I’m not attracted to short guys, so I don’t date trans men.”

Understand? The second one is implying that all trans men are short, which is verifiably untrue. It’s the stereotype that makes it transphobic, NOT the attraction. It’s also not a trait exclusive to trans men - I’ve met lots of cis men who were short - so the lack of attraction doesn’t have anything to do with being trans anyways.

And ‘short’ is just an example. It’s the same for pre-HRT vs post-HRT trans folks, pre- or post-surgery, etc. Trans people are different in so many ways that it is impossible to judge all of them on just one characteristic.

what is NOT transphobic: not wanting to be with a specific trans person because they have shared with you their transitional/surgical status and you are not attracted to/are repulsed by their specific type of gentitalia

why: you should not feel obligated to have sex with someone whose parts you’re not attracted to, regardless of relationship status or how much you love them. As long as you inform the trans person in a respectful way that you don’t think the relationship will work, you are not being transphobic.

what IS transphobic: not wanting to date ANY trans people EVER because you’re not attracted to a certain type of genitalia

why: no two trans people are alike, and assuming that you know what a trans person has down there without them telling you is transphobic because you’re stereotyping a large group of people.

what is ALSO transphobic: “stop forcing us to have sex with men!”