Cheerfully yrs.

you don’t gotta tell me to boycott the Nintendo prices by not buying bc i don’t have the money to get them anyways

‘guys don’t spend 600-700 dollars on the new nintendo products to send a message’ im way ahead of you man

seeing straight men be disgusted by booktok smut recommenders has actually radicalized me to the side of booktok smut recommenders. girls your taste may be atrocious but i will never disparage you for exposing mainstream discourse to the concept of soaking through your underwear. spent my whole life listening to men talk about penises it’s about time they get jumpscared by women talking about pussy in crude detail on social media. go forth and goon my warriors

I can behave normally around books

I can be trusted in bookstores and libraries and you should take me to those locations

the xbox is a Machine. the playstation is a Device. the switch is a Toy. the personal computer is also a Machine. what the world needs, is a way to play video games on a Contraption

you fool. that's pinball

we aren’t doing enough arts and crafts in this world I’m telling you

vampire hunter? no i said vampire HAUNTER. this jerk sucked all my blood out so now i spend my afterlife knocking over shelves and scaring off potential victims and just making the castle generally pretty cold

it's always 'bleh why are the plates floating', 'gah who knocked over my blood goblet' and never 'sorry for killing you' ok starve then!

and what are you going to do about it? have a priest exorcise the place? yeah good luck with all the crosses and holy water you piece of shit

It’s a lovely morning in the gothic castle, and you are a horrible ghost.

After careful consideration and going over multiple options I think the best choice is stay warm and cozy in bed forever.

after 2 years working outdoors all day i finally got stung by an onion for the first time yesterday and i wasnt even doing anything there wasnt even a nest nearby

a wasp. i was looking at a onion just now sorry

an electric toothbrush

For the love of god turn the sound on

having viral posts is all fun and games until you have clowns in your mentions being like "well, op, i bet you also didn't know THIS" [haughtily explains something i absolutely would and do know] like add whatever to my posts that you think is informative just don't direct it at ME! i know! i just didn't include it in the post i made in 20 seconds because i didn't think 30,000 of you would see it!

[#i know fish can't sin okay. i know. i know stained glass is not stable enough for a fish tank. I FUCKING KNOW]

Why don't they make stained glass fish tanks? Give those fish Catholic guilt

fascinated by the implication that it's the stained glass that gives catholics the guilt