☆.｡.:* faded heart

as estelle planted herself on nicola’s lap, she felt momentarily stunned. the feeling passed quickly, and she rested an arm lazily along estelle’s thighs. “ oh ? how come you didn’t go ? ” she asked curiously, though she figured there was no reason in specific. the offer of alcohol tempted her. her mind shifted to thoughts of the girl she used to be, who couldn’t go a day without self-medicating. nicola had to remind herself she wasn’t that girl anymore, and one drink wouldn’t change that. “ sure, i’ll have a bit, ” she smiled, reaching for the glass. “ class was interesting. i only had one today, and my professor is quite the character. i won’t bore you with the details, though. my head hurts thinking about the work i have to do already, ” she heaved a sigh. nicola took a sip from the glass. the liquor felt warm sliding down her throat. she gave the glass back to estelle, a fleeting look of longing in her eyes. “ everyone keeps talking about…her. what a bummer, ” she mentioned, her voice small. despite how nonspecific her words were, she knew estelle would understand.

“ i didn’t realize you were so busy, but don’t worry. it’ll be quick, ” she guaranteed, resisting the urge to frown at his eagerness to leave. nicola gripped his textbooks tightly as they walked, feeling they represented the only leverage she had over him in that moment. she figured if she wasn’t in possession of his items, he would find some excuse to leave in a hurry, like he always did. “ well, i had a question about hexes...if, say, a hex was cast on someone and karma was catching up to the person who cast it, would there be anyway to block its effects ? ” the question slipped through her lips like honey, and she gazed at him with curious eyes. as they neared the coffee shop, nicola reached for the door. she wondered if caspian could see through her attempts.

as nicola sat at the booth with perfect posture, she couldn’t help but fixate her gaze on the vanilla milkshake before her. being in his presence always reminded her of the beginning of their relationship. it felt like he had been mentoring her in magic so long ago, yet the memories were still so fresh in her mind. nicola was grateful that they had maintained a relationship, despite the drastic change in her personality. his question took her by surprise, though it shouldn’t have. she had been wanting to talk about the news with someone, but it never seemed appropriate to bring up. “ you’re the first person to ask me, ” she said, her lips curling into the smallest smile at his concern, even if he had just asked out of courtesy. “ but i’’m fine, ” she confessed with a shrug. nicola felt the slightest bit of guilt toward what happened, but mostly, she didn’t want any of them to get caught. she was typically a compassionate person, yet she was capable of such cruelty and indifference; she could be quite the paradox. “ i try not to worry about these sorts of things, i mean, the past is in the past. and i guess we all knew there was a possibility of this happening when we did what we did... ” she kept her voice low. she thought it best to be cautious when speaking of their crime---anyone could be listening. “ what about you ? ” she asked, curious about his opinion on the matter.

nicola byun’s recent instagram feed

the day had gotten off to a bad start. news of the discovery of marisol’s body plagued campus. it was like everywhere nicola turned, she heard hushed whispers about the “tragedy”. truth be told, it put a damper on her mood. luckily for nicola, she had made plans with estelle---or, essie as she preferred to be called. essie was one of the few people nicola felt she could rely on. the two of them clicked instantly, and with essie’s help, nicola was able to improve her magic. she especially cherished their talks, whether they be serious or not. nicola figured maybe things would be awkward between the two of them after their failed dating attempt, but she reminded herself that they were friends first. nicola waited for estelle in the comfort of head quarters. even outside of practicing magic, she enjoyed spending her time there. it separated her from the outside world, which was a necessary escape at times. the brunette made herself comfortable on the floor, leaning her back against the base of the couch. she was browsing through her instagram when she heard footsteps approaching. she gazed up from her phone, a grin glossing over her lips. “ hey ! ” she chirped, patting the spot next to her for essie to take. “ how was class today ? ” she asked, genuine interest dripping from her words.

nicola had known caspian at a transition phase in her life, when she was a different person. she was embarrassed by the girl she used to be, though she felt caspian preferred her old self. she used to act recklessly on her impulses, not worrying about the consequences. now, she calculated every decision carefully. one summer long ago, the two of them had shared an honest moment together, but with caspian’s constant attempts to avoid her, she felt maybe the distant memory was merely a dream. he was different now, too. at times, he left her wondering whether or not a soul resided in his body. still, despite his best attempts to push her away, nicola refused to budge. she had shed most of her old characteristics, yet somehow retained her mother’s stubbornness. the school year was just beginning, but nicola managed to catch a glimpse of caspian’s schedule. with this newly found knowledge, she tread along campus in hopes of running into him. once spotting his familiar features, she sped up to catch up with him.  “ caspian, hey, ”  she greeted with a smile.  “ let me help you with your books, ”  she offered, extending a hand to lighten his load. “ actually, yes. i have some magic-related questions and, uh, i was wondering if you’re free to talk over a cup of coffee. ” her expression was firm; she wasn’t about to take no for an answer. she had come up with an excuse to speak to him on the walk over, however her thoughts lingered on the discovery of marisol’s body.