Once I saw this guy in a Batman shirt on a bridge about to jump. I said, “Don’t do it!” He said, “There’s nothing to live for.” I said, “There are comics left to read. Do you like comics?” He said, “Yes, I love comics.” I said, “Me too! Big two or indie?” He said, “Big two.” I said, “Me too! DC or Marvel?” He said, “DC.” I said, “Me too! Superhero or otherwise?” He said, “Superhero.” I said, “Me too! Justice League or Justice Society?” He said, “Justice League.” I said, “Me too! Batman or otherwise?” He said, “Batman.” I said, “Me too! Batman comics or Batman adaptations?” He said, “Batman comics.” I said, “Me too! Pre-Flashpoint or Post-Flashpoint?” He said, “Pre-Flashpoint.” I said, “Me too! Pre-Crisis or Post-Crisis?” He said, “Post-Crisis.” I said, “Me too! Post-Crisis Mainline Batman or Dark Knight?” He said, “Post-Crisis Mainline Batman.” I said, “Me too! Post-Crisis Mainline Batman under Denny O’Neil or Post-Crisis Mainline Batman after Denny O’Neil?” He said, “Post-Crisis Mainline Batman under Denny O’Neil.” I said, “Me too! Post-Crisis Mainline Batman under Denny O’Neil - No Man’s Land apologist or Post-Crisis Mainline Batman under Denny O’Neil - No Man’s Land detractor?” He said, “Post-Crisis Mainline Batman under Denny O’Neil - No Man’s Land detractor.” I said, “Die, larper!” and I pushed him over the edge.
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