Collections of a Grumpy 30-Something

every time i clock out at work i understand how the final girl in a horror movie feels

True crime podcast but you realize as you're listening that the host is just describing episodes of Scooby-Doo

funniest possible situation to say “but we’re both girls!” go

the Xenomorph as Sigourney Weaver jettisons her out the airlock

okay sure

i love you vampire themed media i love you metaphor for queerness i love you blood aesthetic i love you gothic architecture i love you coffin beds i love you cross necklaces i love you canine teeth i love you intimacy hidden in violence i love you vampires

“Shelley was well known in his lifetime” Yeah by THE ENGLISH GOVERNMENT, not by public readers. He was ran after, not by fans but by parliamentary authorities who wanted him DEAD.

sometimes i’m like “i should buy some orange juice! i love it i don’t know why i never have it in the house” and then i get some and i remember it’s because some kind of dormant Scurvy Prevention Instinct activates within me like a sleeper agent trained to seek and destroy, except it’s just me standing in front of the open fridge at two in the morning chugging juice straight out of the carton like a crazed citrus gremlin 

I love all the possible implications from: “Mama is trans and wasn’t out back then”, “Mama successfully committed feminist voter fraud”, to “Mama just fucking voted and the people running her local ballot box knew what was fucking good for them and stayed out of her way”.