۵

i learned a lot of things, how to lie, make fun of others, play a role so that other people eventually like you more. how it feels to get betrayed and betray others. how to be a bad person.

i always loved to connect with people, strangers and i always thought that every human is good in some ways. we can learn from and about each other and i just FELT that we are all connected, while living our individual little lifes.

i felt positive things, i felt aligned and connected. but then people did me dirty.

i saw how people hurt others, betray and belittle them. i saw bad things and thought i had to be bad too, in order to live peacefully.

i now want to be that small innocent child again. i want to be good to people, to help others, be radiant and let everyone feel welcome in this cold world. i wanna give love and make everyone feel at home. connected. aligned.

i miss this. this innocent view and emotions of a child. so good, so pure, so loving.