Point Me to the Sun

underrated ship dynamic is 'they deserve each other /derogatory'

her eyes were the sickly green of the sky before a tornado, and to his horror he discovered she could throw cows around just as easily

to his horror? weak shit. outta my way gayboy im boutta get it

When all you have is a handsaw, every problem looks like a beautiful lady in a box. And you have a magician outfit. And people are watching.

thinking about diatoms again

microscopic living stars made of glass that eat the sun. and they're all around us. in every body of water. glass sun-eating stars.

and you know. like oblongs and triangles and some other bullshit

“Why are you scared of dating” I’m not scared of dating, I just haven’t found anyone’s company to be more enjoyable than my own. And also I don’t care

I just don't want anyone to steal my very cursed amulet

Also the amulet

Is that you talking? Or the amulet? Are you SURE a new hand doesn't want to touch the beacon?

The amulet and I are not currently looking for a third

Holy Shit

severely deficient in whatever vitamin makes u a person

a meba 🦠 is almost like a really really small anermal but not quite

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I wish wizards were real so bad imagine coming out of a wal mart and seeing some guy with long robes and a big hat in the parking lot surrounded by wacky particle effects screaming some shit like "By the moon and the starlight, by the shield and the sword, I summon to me, my Honda Accord!" And then just getting into his car and driving off

there's also the idea that he drove to walmart in his honda accord, and then when he got out he either forgot where he parked or wanted to skip like 20 seconds of walking so he just summons it right in front of the door

To not have to find a parking space, most wizards keep their Honda Accords in a extradimensional oubliette when not driving. This also saves on garage space.

Clearly the wizard had to summon his Honda Accord because someone stole it while he was shopping. The carjacker is now tumbling violently down the freeway like a source engine ragdoll

i think that "claims to be pro life dies anyway" is the singular funniest phrase ever invented because there's just no coming back from that unless we suddenly get really good at necromancy

pro lifer comes back wrong and they're really upset about it because they didn't get a. a. a ch

Imagine a record store with a cringe section

where else are they supposed to put the beatles?

The dumpster

sometimes artists worry if their art is actually capable of making the world a better place, or if its all just wasted effort. what you need to remember is: all art is evil, and the sole aspiration of the artist should be to maim as many onlookers as possible.