Tears Of My Love

Today I decided that I wanted to go see The Martian. I got there 50 minutes early and took my time picking the perfect spot. I decided to go the bathroom before the movie so I didn’t miss anything. On my way back with a soft pretzel in hand, I see a woman with her kids and she’s moving all of my stuff to a different seat so her and her kids can take my spot. I stomach it, grab my stuff and move to a different spot. While I’m sitting there eating my pretzel, I notice her and her kids all going to the bathroom. I seized the opportunity. I run, grab all their stuff, and move it to seats right in front of the entrance so they’ll see it as soon they walk in. The woman comes in, sees her stuff, looks at me, connects the dots, sees that all the other seats have been taken up, and now has been shooting me occasional death glances from the front row.

I’ve been laughing for ten minutes straight

Bears are so weird I always forget they exist. They’re like dog humans

Do you ever just see the first sentence of a text message and just think “oh fuck no I do not have time for this shit”

The last 3

infinite dogs

“It’s been a long week,” I say in the middle of the day on Monday. 

crying till i die