Observations in Life

OP is being kind in saying “i don’t have to trust your recollection.” people straight up lie, especially customers.

If you had five billion you could hop from job to job, calling entitled customers idiots all across your city, putting the fear of You into every shithead in town until people become afraid to be rude to servers and cashiers, lest you emerge from the back room like some kind of manners-enforcing specter

Play a gunslinger, who critically misunderstands their role as a gunslinger and just throws guns.

Dogs are awesome and not nasty. Humans whom don’t take care of them are lol. Awww cute.

😂

You have to admire her audacity, if nothing else.

death star plans? on my alderaanian diplomatic mission? it’s more likely than you think

I mean, we already knew she was lying about not knowing, and it was already portrayed as a bit of a stretch to expect Vader to believe her.  So, really, that just fits right in with what we’d already seen in Episode IV

k but “spark joy” is legitimately delightful as a phrase, and it’s helpful and refreshing as a concept, and you KNOW if a white woman had come up with it, every other white girl would already have a rose gold travel mug that says “spark joy” in loopy cursive on it

a moment of silence for female characters who get a lot of shit but would be adored if they were male

no one tells you that Adulthood is faking it til you make it and finding joy in things like cleaning out your closet or managing to buy candles 50% off

Please, I am begging you, visit the official Captain Marvel website

I would post screenshots but they cannot possibly capture it.

Its Geocities! Ah, the memories.

“My boyfriend/ girlfriend won’t let me…” yikes yikes yikes, abort that relationship

“My bf/gf won’t let me cook anymore after the spaghetti incident”

“My gf won’t let me pee in the sink”

It’s been months since my wife let me go “buck wild” at home depot.

I’m a slut for sitting in comfortable silence while both of us do our own thing and occasionally show each other something dumb on our computers like that’s the good shit my dude. 

for real, though, why do recipes consistently tell you to use less herbs and spices in than you should. fuck your “two cloves of garlic,” fuck your “half teaspoon of cinnamon,” and you can absolutely go to hell with your “dash of black pepper”

I’m pretty sure that the only time I’ve ever actually managed to overseason food was when working with balsamic vinegar, which is the most overpowering motherfucker of a sauce known to man

i appreciate the energy and anger in this post, which is righteous and just

A friend once tried to replicate my burrito bowl recipe from the same online link I used and was upset it didn’t come out as flavorful, so I had to tell him to imagine that every online recipe is written by a midwestern white lady who thinks ketchup is spicy and adjust the spices accordingly. He nailed those burrito bowls next time.

“imagine that every online recipe is written by a midwestern white lady who thinks ketchup is spicy and adjust the spices accordingly“