Allison Teague

So many ads are just “we at corporation care about our customers which is why we [thing we are legally obligated to do]”

I think about this so much more after working at a call center and being told “you need to not say outage unless we actually have a confirmed outage because we legally have to reimburse people if we fail to provide service” and then seeing that in ads as a really cool and nice thing the company does instead of something they’re forced to

kim kitsuragi, the man you are

My woke take, as someone who has worked in both a public library and a school library, is that we desperately need both more books that are at a higher reading level but a less mature subject matter, and more books that are at a lower reading level but a more mature subject matter, because 8 year olds who are advanced readers are still 8 year olds and don't want to read about graphic violence and torture, and teens and adults who have learning difficulties or who are just later readers for whatever reason are still teens and adults and don't want to read about Billy the Bunny going to school or whatever the hell.

Shoutout to people in the notes also mentioning people learning the language, I should've mentioned that really, given that I've been stuck reading German picture books myself while learning German.

Maybe the most damming thing about Nolans odyssey is i haven’t seen a single gifset from it

one time i was making potato soup and i needed broth for it but i was out of broth. but in my dog food cabinet there was a carton of chicken broth that i had bought for my dog. now the box did say HUMAN GRADE and the ingredients were just bog standard chicken broth. it did say something about joint health for dogs on there. but the ingredients were normal. i even compared the ingredients list to some normal person broth and they were the same. so i did put dog broth in that soup and it did taste completely normal. but i did use the dog broth.

just had a really stable moment where i opened a redbull at the exact same second someone started playing industrial music in the apartment below and i briefly thought it was coming from inside the redbull can

3. you can also pretend you’re a deep sea predator pretending to be aquatic plant life drifting in the currents to attract prey

Kids today need to learn how to pull the evil taffy.

4. Brush away the spiderwebs in the vast and mysterious crypt you're exploring

Gets stuck in the past and makes a random village get way smarter and less violent in a generational sense because I keep smacking people over the head with a stick and telling them that it’s the devil’s metal whenever they try to use lead for something in my presence and there develops a very niche regionalized superstition that an angry warlock will jump out of a tree and beat the shit out of you if you touch lead with your bare hands

Gets excommunicated by the Catholic Church for telling people that they can banish the devil from their water if they boil it therefore saving hundreds of people from a cholera outbreak but I don’t care and keep trying to convince the locals to use soap more often