i like stuff

The absolute contempt for these locks is palpable.

the music made this one of the most hilarious things i have ever seen, thank you so much.

GJJGJRKGNH THE MUSIC GOES UNDERWATER WITH THE TURTLE

bring out the rotating tiger

so youre telling me that some asshole can just throw together meaningless shit and get notes and attention yet when i put actual thought into the things i say nothing happens i am so fucking done with this bullshit god damn fuck

oh

After 13 years of this, it's still funny to me that detailing a full mental breakdown on tumblr is standard fare, but posting a nice selfie is a fraught decision.

this is the correct way around and every other social media site is wrong

im incredibly conflicted by the phrase ‘the question is not who will let me but who will stop me’ because on one hand its so fucking raw and powerful but on the other hand it’s derived from ayn rand but on yet another hand the first and primary time ive ever seen it was on a picture of a lawnmower flying through the sky which is the perfect level of absurd and nonsensical that would piss ayn rand off

what's the dewey decimal number for foreskin. coward

prostrating myself at your feet for my lack of composure thank you for your wisdom

I love getting unaccompanied minors (kids flying alone) who so clearly just. Don't want to be here lol. Sometimes I get to know a little of their story, like their parents are divorced, or a family member died and they're heading to the funeral, but usually they just don't want to talk about it and that's fine. But I always treat the flight like it's a challenge to make them smile. I offer them snacks and soda but that's never enough, that's whatever, they could get those from an airport vending machine. Chump change. So then I tell the worst jokes. Just the most embarrassing, kindergarten teacher, annoying dad jokes you can think of. And those always get a groan, or a "Seriously??" And that's my in! Now I can say "Why, what's your idea of a good joke? No, come on hotshot, make your best joke, let's see it." And they hem and they haw but of course they eventually tell me their very best joke because kids are little competitive comedy goldmines. And it's always super funny, so I laugh, and that's where they slip up. Because you know what you almost always do when your joke successfully makes someone laugh? You smile. And I'm like. Gotcha. Rookie move. Now you're going to end up having a good time in spite of yourself. I win.

Did this with an 11yo u.m. today and he said "What did the ghost say to the other ghost?" And I said "What?" "Nothing. Ghosts aren't real."

saw an article about an AI startup trying to make drones that would obliterate mosquitos and it literally made me cry like that 4 million dollars they spent could have gone into malaria and yellow fever research or spreading money to areas where they need nets and healthcare due to mosquitos like the answer isn’t killing an entire species from the planet it would destroy ecosystems and leave massive holes in the food chain for birds and other animals not even considering that mosquitoes are pollinators themselves like i truly feel like one company should not have the ability to literally just decide if a species should no longer exist and then execute an entire population like that like i feel like we should have a fucking say 😭