So Happy When It Rains

I feel so lonely for many reasons. 1) I don’t let anyone get close to me. I am flaky, anxious, and scared to make friends. 2) I let people treat me disrespectfully and I don’t know how to create and hold boundaries.

I’ve been with my partner for 5 years. There is a lot of history, a lot of baggage. We’ve done a lot for each other.

I got my financial aid disbursement a few days ago. Today my partner and I went to the store and something was on sale. My partner wanted to get a bunch of it. I asked how we would be dividing up the payment for the products. They said they wanted to pay for only two items. I resisted buying all the sale products, as it is not even a product that I like. I ended buying 6 of the product.

We went to another store, where I bought a bunch of products we both liked that were on sale. On the drive back home, they were making negative/passive aggressive comments about drivers on the road, and they asked me if I enjoyed those comments. My partner said ‘‘see, you’re in a weird mood again. It’s cause you don’t like spending your money.’‘

I was deeply hurt by that comment because I’ve spent so much money on them.

We got home, I apologized for resisting buying the product they wanted at the store, because I admitted it was a smart purchase. I asked them if they were sorry for what they said. They said they weren’t, and they wouldn’t apologize for how they were feeling.