Tea From APUSH

"In 1997, before you were born, I realized we were going extinct." - guest lecturer in response to a question about finding floral design internships

I'll just call them and politely demand they give me everything I want.

get in my car, realize I lost my keys, have to take a grocery cart to town, eat some snacks, become homeless

When you go to bed tonight, record yourself saying fourty-three thousand five hundred sixty feet and listen to it over and over and over.

Would you rather read about chemical combustion or the day Mars blew up? Maybe those are too similar...

"Yes! Love you guys. You're the best. But we're still not friends."

"This is a portrait of Paul Revere, who looks just like Jack Black, and someone should do something about that."

"Generally, when you die, a giant spotlight doesn’t come on you."

"I like being made fun of in paintings"

professor just called the united states of america the union. lol

game-changing idea. I could start posting all the quotes without quotation marks.

got to class in time to actually have a seat. patting myself on the back for that one

"Come on class, studies have shown that 50% of people ARE WOMEN!"