Dressed to Impress

I’d have to disagree on that part, I’ve practically got a glowing halo above my head and a pair of wings to match. I have yet to hear that sort of reputation about us, St. James. Maybe I really am just living under a huge rock.

If you’ve got a halo o your head, then it’s surely dimming. Are the wings pearly white and similar to a Victoria Secret model’s? If anything, I just think you’re a particular family, and that’s not all that bad. Do you even go out on Friday nights? 

Of course I do. What sort of person would I be if I didn’t? I don’t remember the last time I used a car.

Hmm- then I guess you can do you.  The bus doesn’t reach to all the parts of the town that I usually wander off to, and plus, the bus gives me horrid flashbacks from primary school that I don’t necessarily want to re-live. 

Could I suspect some sexual comments or anything of the sorts? Those are always the worse. Weird diet? Why on earth are you of all people on a diet, look at you! And that’s a compliment, just so you know. 

They probably would have been filled with some sexual innuendos, yeah. They’re all for a laugh, and really, it could all be worse if you look at it from a different perspective. Ha- it just feels like I’m practically a whale on two feet half of the time. But-.. thank you.  

Just tell people you’re on a cleanse or something. Yeah, wine might not be a good idea for you right now. Sorry, sorry..It’s just. So weird. I have two roommates now. Yeah, c’mere then. You should maybe tell Cherie…And the others of course. I mean, I don’t think it’s too late if you didn’t want it.

Right--.. I could do that, but I’m so sorry that I dragged you into this. It really might not be a good idea, but I could really use a good drink these days. It’s just-- I’ve been thinking a tad bit. Cherie and I are hardly serious enough right now for me to put a baby on her plate. Abortion’s been on my mind for a while now--.. and I’m stuck behind the moral choice and the life that I could have. I just don’t want to bring a kid into a world like this where we can barely even afford our place, Logan- and I haven’t even finished my studies. It wouldn’t know their father- and I just don’t want you to be making sacrifices for me, when it was my stupid choice to get knocked up. 

I’m not! I just keep forgetting you can’t have any. You’re in luck, we still have some grapes you haven’t destroyed yet. God, I need to go shopping…There’s a little person in you. Weird. Girl, you know I can braid hair, shut up. So are you going to tell anyone else yet?

Good, and you should know that it’s becoming to be like hell for me. You can imagine the looks I get when I order orange juice instead of something sweet like a good Blue Hawaiian. I really should learn some self-control, though. Sshh- just the whole concept is weird enough to me. Well, if you’re feeling it, why stop a free little hair touch-up? I haven’t really told anyone yet, but I’m guessing that I should. And maybe start hitting up a doctor- I don’t know, it’s all too overwhelming to even think about right now. --.. Is it too late to quit now? 

I could think of worser fates than cream cheese all over your lips, but I think I’ll just take the compliment and run with it. What were you even eating?

There is probably worse fates out there, but you’ve spared me from some comments from my other friends and some embarrassment. You’ve never had cream cheese with some pita chips? They’re pretty nice when you’re on some weird diet like I am. Low carbs and everything. 

It actually would, that is a whole lot more eco-efficient. Next time perhaps consider taking the bus in or something of the sort.

Unless you want a girl to be felt up by some drunken slobs at night, I wouldn’t really suggest the bus as a go-to option. Tell me, have you ever actually used your own advice?

I haven’t the slightest clue, the only possible thing I could blame it on is my innocence towards the world. Well, he was a bit older. And I’m only a year above being legal, so I’m really not into that sort of thing at all.

As much as I believe you live under a huge rock most of the time, I don’t think you’re that innocent. You’re a St. James after all. I’m pretty sure you see more obscene things in one day than I see in a month. But maybe you’re one of the better St. James’ siblings. 

The what--.. the supermarket, you mean? You don’t have anyone else to do this ‘mundane task’ for you? I would have thought the inflaux in your parents’ bank account would have allowed you to hire another maid for the time being. 

I spent nearly five hours shopping today. Five hours. I don’t know how Paris and Aspen do this every day. There were so many shoes, if I see another pump I might faint.

Larken, if you’re truly suffering from said pain, how about I just take the load off of you and shop for you? But for real, how do you walk around in pumps that high for five hours? Beauty might be pain, but you’re just doing that to yourself at this point. 

Gryffintown. — Well, it’s certainly a change in pace. I’ll give it that.

From the lack of bewilderment and awe, I’m putting my money down on the fact that maybe Gryffintown was your second choice. I’m pretty sure more than half of the population here in the city has either settled here because they have no other options or here just for college. Which one are you?

Hey, babe. Rough day, huh? We could have some wi-..Fuck, nevermind. So how’re you feeling? Want me to brush your hair?

Rough day? No, not really. Today was just--.. long. Oh, come on, Logan. You’re acting as if saying ‘wine’ is a bad thing, but I might have just to settle with a little bowl of strawberries and grapes as a closet thing to wine I can have, I guess. I’m feeling surprisingly normal, but with a twinge of having to pee every ten minutes and tiredness. Oh come on, Logan. Can you even braid hair? 

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So today, this guy asked to borrow my phone at the bakery because his died and he needed to call a friend for a ride, so I was like sure, y’know? Use my phone. He makes his call and I finish his order and then he slides me back my phone and says he’ll look forward to hearing from me. By the time I realized he’d called himself and saved his number in my phone, he was gone. It’s now forty three missed calls later and I have no idea how to get rid of this random man. And no— don’t suggest blocking his number because I’m almost positive he’s been calling me from ten different numbers. Help.

How did you even manage this one, you goof? But at this rate, I’m pretty sure the only thing you can do is get a new number if you want to get rid of the creep. Was he at least a tad bit hot or anything redeeming?