you hadn't meant to stand this close to him, hadn't meant for everything between you to feel so charged. but here you were. "you're so tense," wonbin murmured, his voice low, almost teasing. his eyes searched yours, reading you in a way that made you feel exposed, vulnerable in a way you couldn't explain.

you tried to look away, to keep some distance, but your gaze stayed locked on his. how could you not look at him? "i'm fine," you whispered, but deep inside you knew it was a lie. your heart pounded in your chest, so loud you were sure he could hear it too. you felt almost weak, caught in his web.

wonbin smiled, a slow, knowing grin. "you sure about that?" he asked, his voice dropping as his eyes looked down to your lips, making you feel exposed. you didn't know how to respond.

his hand moved slowly as if he was giving you a chance to pull away. but you couldn't. the touch was featherlight at first, just the tip of his finger brushing the curve of your jaw. it made your breath hitch, your whole body trembling. "you don't have to hide it," he said softly, his voice wrapping around you. "i can tell you want to kiss me."

you froze, eyes widening at the words. you didn't even know what you were supposed to feel, but something in the way his finger grazed your skin made your chest tighten with need.

wonbin noticed. he always noticed. the way your body reacted to him, the way your hands clenched at your sides as if you were trying to hold yourself back. "i think you've been wanting this for a while," he murmured, his voice dark and enticing. "haven't you?"

the question made something stir deep inside you, a mix of nervousness and something else, something darker, something you hadn't quite recognized before. you opened your mouth to speak, but nothing came out. your throat was dry, the words tangled in your head, your thoughts scattered by the weight of his stare. wonbin chuckled. "shh… it's okay," he whispered reassuringly, but you weren't sure if you felt safe or exposed in that moment. "i'll take care of you."

his hand slid down your arm slowly, almost like he was savoring every inch of skin he touched, sending shivers down your spine. you felt your heart race, the rush of desire curling low in your stomach, but you still couldn't bring yourself to move. your body was betraying you, reacting to his touch in ways you didn't know how to stop. wonbin leaned in, his breath warm against your cheek, his lips grazing the sensitive skin just below your ear. you shuddered, a soft gasp escaping you as his fingers traced the line of your neck, teasing, like he knew exactly where to touch to make you react.

"i can feel how nervous you are," he murmured, his voice a whisper against your skin. "but you don't need to be. just let me lead, sweetheart." your body felt like it was on fire. you wanted to pull away, to say something, anything. but instead you stayed there, frozen in place, letting him control every movement, every breath.

wonbin's hand slid lower, gently cupping the curve of your waist, and you gasped, the contact soft, but it felt too much in the best way. "you don't have to be scared," he whispered, as if he could sense how you were trembling, how much you wanted to pull away, and how much you wanted to stay. you wanted to protest, to pull back and say you weren't ready, but his lips found yours before you could say anything. the kiss was gentle at first, hesitant, like you were both testing the waters. but then his mouth pressed harder against yours, and the pressure sent a shock of heat straight to your core. you gasped into the kiss, your hands gripping his shirt as if it was the only thing holding you up. wonbin didn't pull back. instead, his hands slid lower, tracing the curve of your hips, pulling you closer to him, until you could feel the heat of his body pressed againstyours.

his tongue gently parted your lips, and you couldn't help but open up. your heart pounded, your chest tight, as if you couldn't breathe properly with him so close. this was new, this overwhelming desire. yet the longer you kissed him, the more you found yourself giving in to it.

"you taste so sweet," wonbin murmured, breaking the kiss only to slide his lips down to your neck, his hands carefully scooping you up and placing you on the counter of the bathroom. your body trembled, the coldness of the counter a sharp contrast to the heat building between you.

you were so confused. you didn't know what was happening, but you didn't want it to stop either. the way wonbin kissed you, the way his hands roamed, the way he made you feel like you were everything to him, it was intoxicating. "let go," he whispered, pressing his forehead to yours, his voice thick with desire. "you don't need to fight it. just trust me."

"fuck," he breathes into your mouth, voice raw, "you drive me crazy.”

you smile against his lips, already tugging at his shirt, sliding your fingers beneath the fabric just to feel the heat of his skin. "then stop pretending like you're in control,” you whisper.

he pulls back just slightly, eyes dark, jaw tight. "you think you're in charge now?"

you tilt your head, a soft hum leaving your lips as your hands drop lower, skimming his abdomen. "maybe," you say, your tone light, teasing, but the look in your eyes tells him exactly how serious you are. "or maybe i just want to take care of you."

he exhales a sharp breath as you push him gently toward the edge of the bed. he follows, willingly, his smirk faltering as you guide him down to sit, your hands firm on his shoulders. he spreads his legs slightly, watching you from under heavy lashes, tongue dragging over his bottom lip like he's trying to keep himself grounded.

"you don't have to-" he starts, but you shut him up with a look, slow and deliberate as you sink to your knees between his thighs.

"i want to," you say with certainty in your voice.

your fingers trail along the inside of his legs, so slow it’s almost killing him inside. you watch his breath catch in his throat, his hands twitching at his sides like he doesn't know whether to grab you or just let it happen. he's not used to letting go, letting you lead. but he wants to. you can see it in how hard he's trying to stay still for you.

"you're already shaking," you murmur, your hands sliding up, resting on his hips now. "you gonna fall apart before i even touch you?"

anton laughs shakily, "keep talking like that, and maybe."

you lean in close, lips brushing over his stomach, just above the waistband of his jeans. he tenses under your touch, jaw clenched, breath ragged.

"then let go," you whisper. "let me ruin you a little."

his eyes flutter shut, and he nods once, slowly, as your fingers find the button of his jeans.

"yeah," he breathes. "okay. take what you want."

like even the walls know this is the last time.

anton sits on the edge of the bed, back to you, elbows on his knees, hands twisted together like he’s trying to hold something in.

you want to reach for him.

you don’t.

“so that’s it?” your voice doesn’t sound like yours. it’s too small. too tired. like it already knew the answer.

he exhales through his nose. not angry. not sad. just empty.

“i don’t know.. i keep hurting you,” he says, so soft you almost miss it. “and i don’t know how to stop.”

you blink, but the tears come anyway.

“you’re not hurting me,” you lie. but he always sees right through you.

he turns, just enough for you to see it in his face. the guilt. the guilt that’s been there for weeks. months. the guilt that built a quiet wall between you while you kept pretending it was just a rough patch.

you should’ve said something sooner.

you should’ve left before it felt like giving up.

instead you stayed, thinking love was enough to fix it.

thinking holding his hand through the silence would be enough to bring the sound back.

but it didn’t.

“i love you,” anton says. and it wrecks you. because it’s the truth.

you can hear it in every crack of his voice.

“i know,” you whisper. “me too.”

you both sit there for a while. not speaking. not touching. like maybe if you’re quiet enough, you can unmake the moment. rewind. start again.

but you don’t.

you just breathe through the ending.

and when he leaves, he doesn’t slam the door.

you had never been this close to him before, and suddenly, you couldn't seem to figure out how to act. your body felt... too aware of his every move. the way his eyes lingered on you, the way his lips twitched like he knew exactly what was running through your head.

"what's wrong?" anton's voice was smooth, almost like he was savoring the moment, watching you squirm under his attention. there was a hint of amusement in his tone, like he found your discomfort entertaining. how did he do that?

"i-im fine," you stammered, but even to your own ears, it sounded like a lie. you could feel his gaze dragging across every part of you, like he was dissecting your thoughts, your every reaction.

anton tilted his head, his lips curling into a slow, mocking smile.

"really?" he asked, voice dripping with a condescending sweetness. "because you look like you've never been this close to a man before."

you swallowed hard, unsure of how to respond. his words stung, even though you knew he was just playing with you. you weren't sure whether to feel embarrassed or frustrated, but you certainly felt something-something that made you want to run, and yet, you couldn't.

his fingers brushed against your arm, featherlight, as if he were testing your limits. "so innocent," he muttered under his breath, just loud enough for you to hear. "you don't even know how to react, do you?"

you winced, but tried to keep your composure. "i know what I'm doing," you said, voice barely above a whisper, but it was weak. you didn't really know what you were doing. you didn't know what he expected, or why your body kept betraying you every time he looked at you like that.

anton took a slow step closer, his eyes scanning your face like he was savoring your discomfort. "you don't, sweetheart," he said, almost pityingly, but there was no softness in his voice. "look at you. trembling, shy, so desperate for me to touch you, but too scared to admit it."

you felt your cheeks flush. the way he said it made you feel small, like you were a lost puppy who had no clue about the things your body was craving. you tried to protest, to tell him he was wrong, but your words stuck in your throat.

anton's hand slid to your waist, his touch possessive and commanding, and you couldn't help the shiver that ran through you. "you don't have to act so innocent," he said, his voice thick with amusement. "i can see it in your eyes. you want this."

you wanted to argue. you wanted to say that you didn't, but your body betrayed you again. you couldn't look away from him, couldn't stop the way your breath hitched when his fingers brushed against your side. you wanted to push him away, but your hands were frozen at your sides, unwilling to move.

anton stepped even closer, his lips almost grazing your ear. you could feel his warm breath on your skin, and your pulse quickened in response, though you hated how easily he was making you react. "you think i don't know what you're feeling?" his voice was a low, mocking murmur. "you think you can hide it from me?"

the confidence in his tone made your stomach churn. he was so sure, and it made you feel exposed, like you had no power here, no control over how badly you wanted him.

"yes," you whispered, almost shaking your head in disbelief, though the words didn't feel true even as you said them.

anton laughed softly, his fingers sliding under the hem of your shirt, just a light brush of skin against skin, but it felt like fire.

"don't lie," he said, his tone dripping with condescension. "you're so fucking naive." he tilted your chin up, forcing you to meet his gaze, and the look in his eyes made something coil tight in your stomach. "but i’m going to teach you."

you wanted to look away, to find some way to hide the way your body was responding to him. but you couldn't. you couldn't pull back from him, not when his hand slid lower, cupping your waist again, pulling you in closer. your chest brushed against his, and you couldn't stop the way your body reacted to the pressure.

"you're so innocent," anton repeated, his voice low and almost cruel now. "it's cute. but i don't think you're going to be so innocent for long."

you felt a rush of heat flood your body, straight to your core. your breath became faster, your head spinning. you wanted to argue, to tell him he was wrong, but you couldn't find the strength to do it. how did he know you so well? how did he make you feel like you were so small under his gaze?

anton's lips brushed against yours, soft at first, just a whisper of contact, but it was enough to make your pulse race. you froze, your hands shaking at your sides, unsure of what to do- of how to respond. but then his mouth pressed harder against yours, and it was impossible to deny the way your body leaned into the kiss, your lips parting as if inviting him in.

"that's better," he murmured, his voice full of satisfaction, his hand sliding down to the curve of your hip. "just relax, sweetheart. let me show you what it's like."

the words sent a shiver down your spine. you didn't know what it was, but you wanted to find out. you wanted him to teach you, even though it terrified you.

but you couldn't stop. you didn't want to stop. the way he kissed you, the way his hands moved over you-it made you feel alive in a way you never had before, and you couldn't help but want more.

just breathing.

just watching you.

the light from the hallway spills in through the open door, just enough to catch the right angles of his face, the way his jaw tightens every time you shift in his lap. he’s sitting at the edge of the bed, holding on to every bit of control he can.

“you’re doing it again,” he says, voice low.

“doing what?”

“looking at me like you don’t know what you’re doing to me.”

you smile, trying to keep yourself together, but your heart is beating too fast to play it cool. “maybe i don’t.”

he lets out a breath, part laugh and part groan, and leans forward. his mouth finds your neck like it belongs there, like he’s been thinking about it longer than he wants to admit. teeth just barely grazing skin. not enough to mark. not yet.

your hands slide under his shirt, palms flat against his skin. he’s warm all over. his muscles tense up under your touch.

“you’re not nervous?” he asks, lips brushing your collarbone.

you shake your head, then pause for a moment. “maybe a little.”

he pulls back, just enough to meet your eyes. “good.”

you raise a brow.

“means this matters to you,” he says quietly. “means it’s real.”

you don’t reply. you just lean in again, kissing him like you’re trying to memorize his mouth. he groans into it, quiet yet restrained. but he grabs your waist tighter, fingers pressing into the bare skin beneath your shirt like he can’t help it.

the fabric rides up with every movement. your thighs tighten around him. the tension’s not building, it’s already there. thick and humming, like the whole room is waiting.

he tilts his head back, eyes half-lidded. “if you keep looking at me like that, i’m gonna forget how to be careful.”

you lean down, lips brushing the corner of his mouth. “maybe i don’t want you to be.”

his grip falters. just slightly. just enough.

“say that again,” he says.

you press your mouth to his ear, nibbling it lightly. “don’t be careful.”

he exhales hard, arms wrapping around you all at once like he can’t hold it back anymore. your back hits the mattress before you even realize he’s moved.

he hovers over you, breathing heavy, jaw clenched like he’s still trying to be good. still trying to hold it together.

“one more time,” anton says, voice rough. “just to be sure.”

you look up at him, cheeks flushed, feeling open and honest.