synopsis . Żā ā¹ . Ż ā” Ż . ā¹ ā Ż. anton could never let you go to sleep mad at him.
ŹÉ pairing boyfriend!anton x girlfriend!reader - content couple arguement (they make up) // fluff // drabble // imagines // established relationship // anton lowk pmo in the beginning but its ok cs that's dada - wc 1.2k
a/n: anton in lee youngji's video. that's it. (i need us anton biases to hide him..)
~~~~
it was 7:42 PM.
you had just gotten off of your long exhausting shift from the hospital. patients all day had been yelling at you, demanding things you couldnāt even give them, and just being straight up rudeā being home was the only thing that was on your mind the whole day.
as the door opened, you peered into the kitchen.
anton was sitting at the kitchen island on his phoneā already in his pajamas. he immediately looked up and smiled at you.
āhi, baby girl.ā
you gave a small smile. āhi.ā
anton made his way over to you, hands soon finding the back of your waist to pull you into a small comforting hug. he had his chin pressed on the top of your head.
ābusy day today?ā
you nodded, sighing into his chest. āmhm..ā
he then let you out of his grasp, watching you walk towards the pan on the stove.
but.. the pan was empty.
great..!
āwhereās the food?ā you turned your head back to glance at anton.
he stared back at you, āi ate it,ā he let out a small chuckle. āwhatās wrong?ā
āwhat do you mean, whatās wrong? did you not care to leave me some?ā
āi just got home an hour ago, it was something small.ā he shrugged. āyou can cook yourself, thatās why i left the pan there.ā
you paused. did he really just say that?
"what did you say?"
"i said you can cook."
anger fumed in your mind.
seriously, what was wrong with him?
already being home from a hectic day at work, you were at your breaking point.
āi can cook?" you scoffed. "anton, you sound like a jerk right now.ā before you could continue and explode even more, you stopped yourself. you took a deep breath, closing your eyes.
anton stood still in the same place, observing whatever was happening right now in this moment. you then walked off and took your bag into the bedroom you and him shared.
āw-where are you going?ā he spoke, trying to follow you.
āiām showering.ā
before he could say anything, you shut the door to the roomā leaving him now staring at the white door. he sighed, rubbing both of his hands on his eyes.
inside of the bedroom, you could feel the literal steam coming out of your ears and mouth.
after your shower, you had calmed down much more.. but you were still irritated from antonās response. you opened the bathroom door to see anton laying on his side of the bed like always. he flicked his head up away from his book he was reading to look up at you exiting the bathroom. you glanced at him for what felt like two seconds, before you walked out of the room. he furrowed his brows and put his book down.
you laid onto the couch in the living room, pulling one of the big blankets you and anton had bought for the living room specifically. the big blanket was now pulled over you comfortably, making you now very sleepy.
before you could fully fall asleep, you felt a presence right next to you. you didn't have to look to know who it was.
anton crouched down beside the couch, resting one hand against the cushion as he leaned closer.
ā.. are you actually sleeping on the couch?ā he asked quietly.
instead of answering, you simply turned onto your other side, facing your back to him. you tugged the blanket up under your chin more.
anton let out the smallest sigh. ".. yeah," he mumbled to himself. "i deserve that."
a moment later, you felt the couch shift again.
his arms carefully wrapped around your waist from behind, hesitant at first, almost like he was testing whether you'd push him away. when you didn't, he slowly melted into you instead, holding you against his chest.
you felt yourself relax a bit, feeling the warmth of anton.
his chin rested lightly against your shoulder before he buried his face into the back of your neck, pressing the gentlest kiss there.
"hey.." his voice was barely above a whisper. "i'm sorry."
another soft kiss. "please don't be upset at me."
you stayed quiet.
he knew you were awake, and he also knew you needed time.
".. i know you had a tough day." he continued after a few seconds. "i should've known to at least make you dinner."
his grip tightened just a little around your waist. "i'm sorry for being inconsiderate.. and telling you that you could just cook your own food." he sighed against your skin. "i wasn't thinking clearly."
he paused, rubbing slow circles against your side with his thumb.
"you work so hard.."
his voice softened even more.
".. you deserve to be pampered when you come home."
he nuzzled further into the crook of your neck.
"i'm sorry.." he whispered. "i miss you a lot too. sleeping in an empty bed tonight wouldn't make anything better."
there was another stretch of silence.
".. do you forgive me?"
you stayed still for another few seconds, letting every word settle.
still tucked comfortably in his arms, you gave the tiniest nodā it was barely noticeable.. and to be exact, you were still just being a little stubborn.
anton couldn't help but smile.
his hand gently cupped your cheek, carefully turning your face toward him just enough for your eyes to meet.
there was nothing but guilt and affection.
he leaned forward, pressing a slow, lingering kiss against your lips before pulling back just enough for his forehead to brush yours.
"c'mon," he smiled hovering over your lips.
"use your words, baby."
".. yes."
his smile immediately grew. before you could say anything else, one arm slipped beneath your knees while the other reached behind your back.
"antonā"
you let out the tiniest laugh as he effortlessly lifted you into a princess carry. your arms naturally looped around his neck, your face finding its usual spot against him.
".. my poor baby," he murmured as he carried you down the hallway.
you smiled to yourself before leaving a trail of tiny kisses along his jaw, then another against his cheek.
".. there she is." he chuckled quietly.
by the time he carried you into the bedroom, the only light left was the little lamp on the nightstand. its warm, golden glow filled the room, making everything feel softer.
anton carefully lowered you onto the bedā pulling the comforter over you, making sure you were completely tucked in before climbing into bed beside you.
with one hand, he reached over and switched off the lamp.
darkness settled around the room, and almost immediately, his arms found you again. he pulled you against his chest until there wasn't even the smallest gap between you.
you let out the quietest sigh, your forehead resting beneath his chin as his hand slowly rubbed up and down your back.
maybe that was all you needed.
just your boyfriend holding you close after a long day, reminding you that no matter how stressful life becameā you never had to carry it alone.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
ā Live Streamingā Interactive Chatā Private Showsā HD Qualityā Free Actions
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āSOUNDGASM ā who wouldāve thought that the EXTREMELY dom voice actor that you listen too was also the nerdy camera geek youāre working on a project
ā§¼ š° ā§½ äø pairingć āøāø nsfwvoiceactor!anton x femcamgirl!reader šµ genre smau contains! language, crack , heavy sexual content , jokes amongst friends { back to library } { part one. part two. part. three }
( yeniās note ). broke this down into three parts š
ććās ⦠the request for this fic disappeared from my asks š but anyway thank you anon for requesting ā”
dating someone whoās popular is one thing, but dating the anton lee? that was a whole other thing. if you asked the whole school about him, 97% of them would say they wanted him. to be fair, he is the perfect man ā tall, smart, a swimmer, and insanely good looking. it wasnāt a surprise that everyone had an underlying crush on him. and even though he was yours, you couldnāt help but feel a little ticked off whenever someone got a little too close to him.Ā
it was hard getting the students to accept your relationship with anton. first of all, most of them were envious of you, and secondly, you were in the grade below him. everyday, students from antonās year would come up to you and argue about how āthey deserved the title as his girlfriend moreā, or how āyouāre too immature to date him.ā it drove you insane. if he had a competition, people would make signs and posters, calling him their boyfriend, and thatās why you didnāt like going to them.Ā
āiām so nervous, baby.ā anton pulled you into his arms, resting his chin on the top of your head. his hands carded through your hair, humming softly as he held you tight. ācome to the competition, please?āĀ
āi donāt wanna see all those posters, antonā¦ā you sighed, wrapping your arms around his body. āplease, y/n. i wanna see you there or else iāll come dead last.ā he held your face, positioning it so youād look at his pleading face. āplease? just for today. plus, the guysāll be there, theyāll hide them from you.āĀ
as much as you disliked going to his competitions due to all the posters, knowing itād put you in a bad mood later, you had to go. for anton, at least. āfine,ā you gave in, leaning your weight on anton.Ā
his smile reached his eyes, when you agreed, gently stroking your cheek with his thumb. āthanks, angel.ā he quickly ushered you out of the guys changing room, hearing more people bustle in. āiāll see you out there.ā he pressed his lips to your cheek, letting it linger a little longer this time.Ā
it had been barely ten minutes until you started noticing all the banners, but thankfully you also noticed antonās friends who were calling you over to sit with them. the competition was gonna be a long one.Ā
more under the cut ā.ą³ąæ*:d
the crowd was relatively quiet, but the moment anton stepped out? itās like he was offering everyone a million dollars. girls screamed his name, standing up and jumping around in the bleachers as he walked out, giving you a small wave.Ā
āthey really love your boyfriend, huh?ā shotaro chuckled, still astonished by the volume of the mob despite experiencing this multiple times before.Ā
eunseok clicked his tongue at the sight of so many losing it over anton. ādonāt they know heās taken?ā his head cocked to the side, eyes squinting. āgosh, theyāre insane. look at those posters.ā he pointed at a select few, reading them out. ā...ālee anton, youāre mineā oh, yeah no.āĀ
āi canāt believe even the older students do it.ā sohee furrowed his brows, as annoyed as you. āitās so childish.āĀ
shotaro saw how your smile slowly turned the other way around, quickly deciding to say something. āitās okay, y/n. anton only has eyes for you.ā he pat your shoulder, nodding his head.Ā
the swimmers had hardly touched the water and the rally got louder, piercing through your eardrum. and that was just the start. as the tournament went on, the yells for anton just kept on increasing. girlsā squeaking voices rang in your ear, shrills loud enough to break the glass windows.Ā
once anton had ultimately won most of his events, bringing home three golds and two silver medals, his fangirls snapped pictures of him, some even took pictures with him, posing like he was a celebrity.Ā
you made your way down the stairs, ready to congratulate your boyfriend, when another student, one in his year, stopped you in your way, blocking you from anton.Ā
āexcuse me, i was here first.ā she said in a stern voice, keeping her arm out, defending you as if she was a security guard for anton. āget in line.āĀ
āiām his girlfriend,ā you said, keeping your voice calm, though on the inside you were burning with anger. you attempted to push through her shield of an arm, but she used all of her strength, shoving you back to where you were.Ā
she rolled her eyes at your perseverance. āi donāt care if youāre his girlfriend. you donāt deserve to be, anyway. he should be with someone more mature, someone in his year, like me.āĀ
unbeknownst to her, anton had been listening the whole time behind her.Ā
ācould you not block my girlfriendās way?ā he said, clearly annoyed. āiām dating her and not you for a reason. i donāt care if youāre the same age as me, y/nās the one for me.āĀ
her face turned bright red, full of embarrassment. ās-sorryā¦ā she managed to mutter before scurrying away.Ā
anton eyed her as she ran away, glaring at her through the corner of his eyes. āhey, baby.ā his medals clanked against one another as he walked toward you. āthanks for coming,ā this time, he kissed you on the lips, holding your waist with a strong grip. āmy lucky charm.ā you could feel him smile as he kissed you, smugly showing you off in front of everyone who wishes they were in your position.Ā
āugh, tonieā¦ā you whined as you pulled away from his face. āyour hairās literally dripping.ā you exhaled, grossed out by how your hands were soaked in pool water now.Ā
he drew you back into his arms, giggling as he shook his hair, flinging drops of water on you. āwhatever.ā he laughed at the way you complained about him drenching your uniform yet still hugged him back.Ā
it was safe to say that you were the only one for him.
wc: 4.8k | pairing: long distance bf!anton x gf!reader | genre: ANGST, smut | warnings: lots of angst, yearning, and pining, lots of emotions, emotional conversations, emotional make up sex, p in v, unprotected sex
synopsis! this was a request ( @namedinwinter ) where anton is a loving long distance bf to yn, but they're both always yearning for the other. anton never wants to take it further than kissing out of his guilt of not being able to be there like he wants to for yn, but yn thinks the worst of this situation...
the nights always felt longer without him. you lay on your back, phone resting on your chest, watching antonās face glow faintly on the screen. his hair was a little messy, his eyes half-lidded with fatigue, but he was still smiling at you like he couldnāt believe you were real.
āyouāre tired,ā you said softly, even though your own voice carried exhaustion.
he shook his head. āi just donāt want to hang up yet.ā
there was always this small stretch of silence after he said things like that. it wasnāt heavy or awkward, just full of something unspokenāthe wanting that hung between you both. you loved him, he loved you, and yet the miles between you pressed against your chest like a weight you couldnāt push off.
he told you about his day, small things that wouldnāt matter to anyone else: what he ate for lunch, the way the rain hit the practice room windows, the joke one of his friends made that he wished you had been there to laugh at too. you listened to every word like you were collecting them, storing them away for the nights you wouldnāt have him at all.
but even as you smiled, you felt that familiar hollow ache. love wasnāt the problem. the distance was. the way your bed always stayed cold on his side, the way you held your phone instead of his hand, the way you had to imagine his arms around you when you fell asleep.
he didnāt notice the way your smile faltered, too busy fighting sleep, eyes fluttering closed before he snapped them open again to look at you. ādonāt go yet,ā he mumbled, like a child refusing bedtime.
āiām not going anywhere,ā you whispered.
and you meant it. but the thought still pressed at the edges of your mindāhow long could you really keep this up? how many more nights of distance, of phone screens instead of skin?
the melancholy lingered, quiet but steady, as you listened to his breathing on the other end. sometimes you closed your eyes and pretended he was beside you, close enough to touch, close enough to kiss. and when he finally wasāwhen distance gave you a brief reprieveāthe moments were fleeting, fragile things you tried to hold onto.
anton kissed you until his chest ached. your hands were clutching at his shirt, warm against his skin, and for a second, he thought he might lose himself in you completely.
but then the familiar weight settled in. the reminder that he wasnāt here enough, that he was about to leave again, that you spent more time waiting for him than actually with him.
anton pulled back, breath shaky, and forced a small smile. āsorry,ā he whispered, brushing his thumb along your cheek as if he could erase the disappointment before it formed.
you only nodded, resting your head against his shoulder. you didnāt say it, but anton felt the tension in your bodyāthe way you had been ready for more, the way you would never ask for it.
later, lying in bed beside you, he stared at the ceiling instead of sleeping. your breathing was steady, soft against his chest, but his thoughts spun relentlessly.
anton wanted you. he always did. every time he looked at you, his chest ached with it, a need that went beyond anything physical. but it felt selfish to ask for more when he already gave you so little.
anton thought about the nights you spent alone, holding a phone instead of him. he thought about the time he wasted in airports, in practice rooms, in hotel beds miles away from your warmth. what kind of boyfriend was he? what kind of man?
antonās hand twitched where it rested on your arm, wanting to pull you closer, to give in. but his guilt stopped him. he had already taken so much from youāyour patience, time, your constant reassurance that distance didnāt matter. he didn't deserve to take more.
so anton kissed the top of your head instead, as if that would be enough, and shut his eyes.
you would never know how often he lay awake like this, staring into the dark and wishing he were different. wishing he wasnāt the boy who left you behind more often than he held you. wishing he could be brave enough to tell you how much he needed you, in every way.
but instead, anton told himself the same lie he always did: that holding back was better. that not asking too much of you was a kind of love too.
still, the ache in antonās chest didnāt ease. it only grew heavier, settling deep into him, until sleep finally took him under.
you watch him on the screen, the glow of his lamp casting soft shadows across his face, and for a moment, the ache in your chest dulls. you lean closer, resting your elbow on the bed and your chin in your palm, smiling at him like itās nothing, though your heart is pounding.
āi got something,ā you say, holding up a small, delicate package. his eyes flicker with curiosity. āyouāre going to like it.ā
he smiles, a little tight, a little hesitant. āoh?ā
you pull it out slowly, letting him see the shape, teasing just enough to make him lean forward. ābut⦠i havenāt tried it on yet. i want you to see it first.ā your voice is softer now, and a quiet thrill coils through you at the thought of his reaction.
anton freezes. his cheeks flush pink, eyes widening just slightly, and he opens his mouth, then closes it again, fumbling for words. your pulse quickensāexactly what you wantedābut thereās also that tiny shadow at the edges of it, that hesitation that always lingers.
āyou⦠you mean, now?ā he stammers finally, his voice low, almost breathless.
you bite your lip, trying to keep your tone playful, but the tremor in your chest betrays you. āwell⦠not really now,ā you say, letting your words hover. āsoon. just⦠imagine it, okay? imagine me in it, for you.ā
his hands curl into fists at the edge of the desk, knuckles white, and his throat moves as he swallows. āi⦠i do,ā he murmurs, barely audible, and then his gaze drops. the flush in his ears deepens, and he glances away, like he canāt meet you head-on.
you laugh softly, a little breathless, trying to shake off the disappointment crawling through you. it was supposed to be fun, meant to draw him out, make him want you like you wanted him. but instead⦠itās a timid reaction, careful, restrained, and it leaves a hollow ache in your chest that mirrors the distance you feel even now.
heās blushing, heās flustered, heās clearly affected by you. but it isnāt enough. itās never quite enough, and your mind spins with the same persistent doubt: does he miss you the way you miss him? does he want you as much as you want him?
āanton?ā you ask softly, tilting your head. he meets your eyes for a moment, and the sight of himāshy, vulnerable, longingāshould be enough. but your chest tightens, and the melancholy hums through you like a song you canāt remember the lyrics to.
āyeah?ā he whispers, voice tentative, fragile.
āi just⦠i canāt wait to see you,ā you say, trying to hide the edge of longing that sharpens the words. āsoon.ā
he nods, swallow hard. his lips twitch into the ghost of a smile, but his eyes carry the weight of everything unspokenāthe guilt, the restraint, the fear that heāll never be enough for you.
you end the call soon after, leaving the screen dark, the room quiet. you lie back against the pillow and let your hands fall to your sides, thinking about how much you want him, how much you ache for him, and how sometimes, even love isnāt enough to fill the distance.
and somewhere, miles away, anton stares at the ceiling again, restless, wishing he could close the space between youāif only for a night, if only to prove you that he does, in fact, want you more than anything.
the memory of the facetime call from last night gnaws at you, sweet and frustrating all at once. the blush on his cheeks, the shy stammering, the way he turned awayāit should have been intoxicating, proof of his yearning. but instead it leaves a hollow ache that spreads through your chest, heavy and gray. you wonder if he really misses you, if he wants you the way you want him.
your fingers linger on the set you bought for him, tucked in the drawer. you imagined wearing it for him, imagined the way he might react, imagined the way he might need you as much as you need him. but now, the thought only makes the pit in your stomach grow deeper. maybe he wouldnāt feel it the way you do.
so you leave it untouched, slipping it back into the drawer. today heās coming, and the thought of him makes your chest both ache and constrict, but you donāt want to tempt disappointment. you donāt want to give him anything to misunderstandāor worse, for him to not respond the way your heart hopes he will.
the air smells damp, faintly of asphalt and something distant you canāt quite name. it presses against your skin, heavy and still, as though the world has slowed just enough to hold its breath. the hours stretch, gray and slow, like the rain outside has seeped inside and softened the edges of everything. your mind circles, turning over memories and half-formed fears, until you barely notice the knocks at the door.
heās there, drenched slightly, the edges of his hair sticking to his forehead, eyes bright with something you canāt immediately read. he smells like rain and him, and it makes your chest ache.
āi missed you so much,ā he says, closing the distance in one quick step and wrapping you in his arms. you feel the warmth, the pressure, the desperation in the hugāeverything youāve been craving for weeks.
but something in you hesitates. you stay still, letting him hold you, but you donāt curl into him like you always do. you keep your hands at your sides, and when he tightens his hold, it only makes the hollow ache in your chest feel heavier.
āi missed you too,ā you say softly, and the words feel small, almost empty, even as your throat tightens. you close the door behind him slowly, the dampness of the apartment curling around both of you like a muted fog. the familiar scent of rain clinging to his coat, mingling with his cologne, should feel comfortingāand yet it only reminds you how far apart youāve been, how much space still exists between the two of you even when heās finally here.
normally, you would move with him into the bedroom, brushing around his bags, sliding behind him to wrap your arms around him from behind as he set them down. the gesture was automatic, comforting, a rhythm you shared without thought. today, though, you linger in the doorway, your fingers pressed lightly against the frame, anchoring yourself. you feel unsteady, as if stepping fully toward him might collapse something fragile inside you.
antonās steps slow as he notices your hesitation. his eyes search yours, cautious and gentle, tracing the tension in your shoulders, the subtle stiffness in your posture. the apartment is quiet, save for the distant patter of rain on the windows, and in that quiet, the air between you feels almost tangibleāheavy, hesitant, as if it could solidify into something unmovable if either of you made the wrong gesture.
he tilts his head slightly, a question forming in his eyes, but it remains unspoken, hovering in the gray light. he takes a careful step closer, measuring, as if approaching too fast might shatter the fragile calm you both cling to.
you inhale shakily, closing your eyes for a moment, trying to steady your racing heart. the weight of your uncertainty presses down like a quiet storm, and your chest aches in the way it always does when longing collides with doubt.
when you finally open your eyes, anton is fully turned toward you, his expression a mixture of longing and worry, soft and hesitant. the concern in his gaze digs into you, and your chest tightens even more, because you know he can sense that something is offāthat the gray tension is yours and his fault all at once.
he doesnāt speak yet, doesnāt step closer, but the quiet intensity of him there, waiting for you to bridge the gap, makes your breath catch. the room feels suspended, holding its breath with you both, waiting for the first word, the first move, to break the silence.
you take a shaky breath, and for a moment the silence stretches between you like a living thing. anton shifts slightly, hands hanging at his sides, eyes never leaving yours. the rain outside drums softly against the windows, a rhythm that seems to echo the tight, anxious beat of your heart.
āi⦠i think we should take a break,ā you whisper, barely audible even to yourself. the words feel foreign on your tongue, heavy and wet, like something you shouldnāt be saying. you keep your eyes closed, hoping that somehow theyāll carry less weight if you canāt see his reaction.
anton freezes, and the shift in him is immediate. his chest tightens, and you can see the moment his mind races, trying to catch the meaning behind your words before it lands fully. the weight of fear settles in his gaze, that same fear heās always carriedāthat heās not enough, that heās failing you even when heās trying his hardest.
āwhy?ā his voice cracks, small, fragile, desperate. āis it something i did?ā
you hear the tremor, and it twists something deeper in your chest. your eyelids flutter, but you keep them closed, letting the tears come freely now. you canāt stop them. the dam youāve been holding back for weeks breaks at once, spilling everything youāve been holding inside.
ādo⦠do you not love me anymore?ā he asks, voice shaking as he steps closer, reaching for you but hesitating. every movement is careful, hesitant, as though the wrong gesture might push you farther away instead of closer.
you shake your head, letting the tears fall freely. āno,ā you whisper through sobs, voice cracking. āi love you so much. i love you more than anything.ā
but saying it doesnāt stop the ache. it doesnāt erase the fear youāve carried: the gnawing thought that he doesnāt feel it as fiercely as you do, the quiet doubt that maybe his love isnāt enough to keep you whole across the distance.
antonās hand brushes yours, tentative, almost as if testing whether youāll pull away. when you donāt, he moves it gently, cupping your cheek, thumb stroking along the curve as he leans in slightly. his own tears streak down his face now, unrestrained, betraying the guilt thatās been his constant companionāthe fear that heās a bad boyfriend, that heās not giving you enough of himself.
āthen⦠whatās the matter?ā he whispers, voice raw and urgent. āwhatās wrong? how can i fix this?ā
you tilt your head into his touch, pressing your palm against his chest as if to anchor yourself. your tears soak his shirt, but you donāt care. you canāt stop the sobs, canāt stop the tightness in your chest. āitās⦠itās the distance. and⦠i think about⦠about you holding back, about how you never⦠never take more of me when you could. and it makes me feel like⦠like you donāt want me the way i want you.ā
antonās lips part, and he shakes his head, his own chest trembling. āno,ā he says quickly, almost desperate. āi⦠i do. i want you. more than anything. i just⦠i think iām not⦠good enough. i think iām taking too much from you already, and iā¦ā he swallows hard, voice catching. āā¦i donāt want to hurt you.ā
the words cut through the gray tension, sharp but honest, and you press your forehead to his chest, letting your body lean into him as your walls crumble completely. he wraps his arms around you tightly, as though he can physically hold the ache away, and you cling to him just as fiercely.
āi donāt want you to think i donāt want you,ā he murmurs, voice muffled against your hair. āi need you⦠more than anything.ā
you let out a shaky laugh between sobs, burying your face against him. āthen⦠then donāt hold back anymore,ā you whisper. āplease.ā
you feel him tilt his head down, brushing his lips against the top of your hair, over your temple, down your cheek. every touch is deliberate, hesitant, like heās memorizing you all over again, imprinting you into his memory after months apart. your fingers tighten in his hair, nails grazing the scalp, anchoring yourself to him, to this fragile, trembling reality.
he shifts slightly, hands sliding down to your waist, holding you close but careful, almost afraid to claim more than what youāve given willingly. and in that carefulness, in that restraint, the ache in your chest twistsāa mixture of longing, frustration, and relief. relief that heās here, frustration that he canāt let go entirely, longing that makes your lips tremble as you press them into his chest.
āiāve missed this,ā he murmurs, voice low, almost broken. āiāve missed you. all of you.ā
you tilt your head up to look at him, tears still clinging to your lashes, and the sight of himāflushed, hair damp from the rain, eyes shimmering with the same grief and need that lives in your own chestāmakes your heart squeeze painfully. āiāve missed you too,ā you whisper, but the words feel like theyāll never capture the depth of everything inside you.
he presses his forehead to yours, breath mingling, and finally, you feel the first thread of permission to let go. his hands move just a little lower, fingertips tracing over the curve of your hips, tentative but intentional, as if asking for consent in every movement. you nod slightly, leaning into him, giving yourself entirely to the moment, to the warmth, to the ache dissolving in the closeness.
the gray stillness of the apartmentāthe damp, the rain, the lingering hesitationābegins to soften around you. your lips brush his again, this time slower, deeper, tasting the months apart, tasting relief and need and love all at once. his hands move with growing confidence now, gathering you closer, and you let out a soft moan, the sound trembling and raw, echoing the release thatās been building inside for weeks.
he lifts you gently, pressing your body against his, and you wrap your arms around his neck, letting him carry you toward the bed. each step is heavy with desire and tenderness, each movement a careful balancing act between restraint and urgency. you feel the tremor in his chest through your palms, and it mirrors your own heartbeat, rapid and uneven.
when he finally lays you down, hovering above you, the grayness that clung to the edges of the room still hums softly in the background, but it no longer presses in. the rainās patter against the windows becomes a rhythm, a quiet accompaniment to the intimacy unraveling between you.
his lips meet yours again, more urgently this time, and you let yourself answer in kind. hands trace arms, shoulders, and finally the curve of his back, memorizing, claiming, giving in. the months of longing, the ache of distance, the quiet doubtsāthey all melt into this single, trembling closeness.
and as he holds you, as you press into him, you realize that even through distance, through restraint, through everything that felt gray and heavy, the tether between you hasnāt broken. itās stronger, rawer, and now tangible, warming the spaces that have felt cold for too long.
you let out a shuddering sigh, forehead pressed to his chest again, and in that quiet, intimate heartbeat, you understand: even across miles, even across months of restraint, even across gray hesitation, the two of you are still here, still aching for one another, still irrevocably tethered.
anton hovers above you, eyes dark, lips slightly parted, hands trembling even as they hover near your shoulders. the weight of longing in him makes your chest tighten; you can feel how badly he wants you, and it makes your own need flare sharper.
slowly, deliberately, you let your fingers trace the line of his jaw, tilt his head toward you. āanton,ā you whisper, voice husky, āpleaseā¦ā
he nods, barely, as if your permission is a tether keeping him from collapsing under the weight of desire. his hands move cautiously, but each motion is filled with reverence. he slides the straps of your top down your shoulders, lingering on the warmth of your skin, pausing to press a feather-light kiss where the fabric falls away. every motion is careful, almost worshipful, as if heās memorizing you in fragments before he can claim you fully.
you shiver under his touch, letting him guide you, letting the slow unraveling of clothing be part of the surrender. when your bra falls away, his hands cup you gently, thumbs brushing over the sensitive skin, and you arch into him, letting out a soft breathless sound. your fingers thread into his hair, tangling slightly, anchoring yourself to him as he leans closer.
anton hesitates for a heartbeat, glancing down at you, lips pressed together in that familiar mixture of shyness and want. then, slowly, he lifts his own shirt over his head, revealing the taut lines of his abdomen, the muscles youāve memorized from pictures and fleeting glimpses. instinctively, your hand slides down over him, tracing the curve of his stomach, feeling him in a way that has nothing to do with distance or hesitation.
his lips find your bare chest, soft and reverent at first, and you tilt your head back, fingers threading through his hair as your other hand roams across his back, over the ridges of muscle, pressing, tracing, squeezing gently at his biceps. he moans softly into you, shaky, the sound vibrating through your chest. every tremor in him echoes the same tremor you feel in yourself.
āiāve wanted this,ā he murmurs against your skin, voice breaking, āso much⦠you donāt knowā¦ā
you grip his shoulders lightly, drawing him closer, letting him feel the weight of your need as clearly as he feels his own. your lips brush against his jaw, your forehead against his temple, and every sigh, every touch, every whispered word carries the months of distance, the quiet ache, the longing that neither of you could release until now.
his hands roam, slow and deliberate, memorizing the feel of you, mapping every curve, every hollow, every tremble that answers him in kind. the intimacy is slow, deliberateāmore than desire, more than lust. it is confession, release, recognition of the ache youāve carried apart from each other, now surrendered entirely in the quiet gray room.
you tilt your head back again as he kisses up your torso, letting your hands trail down his back, squeezing gently at the breadth of his shoulders, the strength youāve imagined in your solitude, now tangible beneath your touch. he trembles against you, shivering, and you let your own body mirror him, fingers tracing the muscles, hands clenching, soft gasps breaking past your lips.
your hand drifts down, brushing against his, and you guide him deliberately, pressing his fingers where you need him most. your voice is soft, tremulous, carrying all the ache youāve been holding back. āitās all for you,ā you whisper, āeverything⦠for you.ā
his groan vibrates against your chest, low and raw, and you feel the heat of him pressing against you. your hand traces over the outline of his length through his pants, feeling the undeniable hardness, the proof of how badly he wants you, how badly heās needed you all along.
āyou can go ahead,ā you coo, breathless, tilting your head to meet his gaze. your lips curve into a small, shaky smile, and your voice softens, coaxing: āiāve been ready for you.ā
his eyes darken, longing and relief mingling, and he doesnāt hesitate. the slow, deliberate care in which he moves mirrors everything youāve been waiting forāevery restrained touch, every shared moment of absence now unleashed in full.
when he enters you, itās slow and careful. each movement is deliberate, almost sacred, giving both of you time to adjust, to feel, to acknowledge the months of longing, the ache of absence, and the quiet hunger that has been building between you.
āi⦠i love you,ā he murmurs, breathless, voice breaking slightly as he moves. āso much. iām sorry iāve made you wait.ā
your chest tightens, and you tilt your head up to press your lips against his shoulder. āi love you too,ā you whisper back, voice trembling. āiām yours⦠forever.ā
he groans softly, and the sound vibrates through both of you. āforever⦠iāve wanted this forever,ā he says, each word heavy with need and confession.
you wrap your arms around his neck, legs curling instinctively around him, anchoring yourself to him, letting him feel your need just as clearly as you feel his. āanton⦠iām yours too,ā you murmur into the crook of his neck. āall of me. always.ā
his hands move along your body, slow and reverent, memorizing the curves and hollows, every inch, every shiver and sigh. āyouāre mine,ā he whispers, pressing you closer.
you tremble under his touch, letting out soft moans that mix with the wet sound of him moving inside you. āi forgive you,ā you say, voice shaky but certain. his lips press against your shoulder, nuzzling, and he groans again. your hands thread through his hair, down his back, clutching at him as if you could anchor yourself entirely in him, letting go of everything that has kept you restrained.
and when he finally collapses against you, forehead pressed to yours, arms wrapped tightly, both of you shivering and spent, the gray has finally lifted. only warmth remainsātethered warmth, solid and real, the proof that even distance, restraint, and longing could never diminish the bond between you.
the rain has softened outside, the patter against the windows now a gentle rhythm, a background to the warmth that fills the apartment. anton lies beside you, one arm draped over your waist, the other tangled in your hair, holding you close as if heās afraid you might slip away again.
you nuzzle against his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart, and a soft laugh escapes you. āyouāre warm,ā you murmur, voice still husky from everything, āand heavy⦠and perfect.ā
anton groans, pretending to scowl, but the corners of his mouth twitch into a grin. āand yours,ā he teases, fingers brushing along your back. āalways yours, right?ā
āalways,ā you whisper, smiling into him, tilting your head up to press your lips to his collarbone. āmy toni,ā you murmur softly, a playful lilt in your tone that makes his chest tighten in delight.
āhey,ā he chuckles, lifting his head just enough to look down at you, eyes glittering. ādid you just call me that? your toni?ā
you nod, biting your lip slightly, eyes sparkling. āyeah⦠i like it. sounds cute, donāt you think?ā
anton shakes his head, laughing softly, shaking off the intensity of the earlier moments. ācute,ā he murmurs, voice low, almost teasing. ācute and mine.ā he presses a kiss to your temple, then another to your cheek. āso⦠can i see you in that new set later?ā
your cheeks flush at the mention, and you nuzzle against him again, tugging at the waistband of his sweatpants playfully. āmaybe,ā you whisper, voice teasing. ābut only if you promise to behave until then.ā
he pretends to gasp, mock-offended, before pulling you closer. ābehave? me? impossible,ā he murmurs, voice low, warm, teasing. ābut⦠i can try⦠for you.ā
you laugh softly, curling against him, letting your fingers trace idle patterns along his chest and shoulders. āi think youāll try really hard,ā you tease, āand then probably fail spectacularly.ā
anton presses a soft kiss to your forehead, humming against your hair. he brushes a strand of hair from your face, voice soft, teasing, and full of affection. āyou know, toniās very happy youāre here. and he canāt wait to see more of you laterā¦ā
you giggle, rolling your eyes playfully, āyou mean toni canāt wait to get into trouble with me?ā
āexactly,ā he murmurs, pressing another kiss to your temple, pulling you impossibly close. ābut only with you. always only with you.ā
riize m.list
a/n! hii i hope you enjoyed this angsty, very romantic, very yearning fic for toni. and thank u for the request, it was right up my alley :D
bf!anton x f!rĀ Ā Ā (Ā Ā ā§įā¦)Ā Ā Ā fluff Ā Ā Ā āāāāāāāæĀ Ā ā clinginess and shirtless ton Ā 1.1k Ā Ā šĀ Ā Ā Ā
The apartment is quiet when Anton slips in, the softĀ clickĀ of the door lock followed by the shuffle of his shoes. It's late ā much later than he wanted ā but rehearsals ran long and no one had the heart to leave until everything was perfect. Still, he hates being away from you for this long.
He drops his bag gently by the door and heads toward the faint blue light coming from the living room.
You're there, curled up on the couch, one leg tossed over a pillow, the other peeking out from beneath the hem ofĀ hisoversized shirt ā a shirt that hangs off your frame like a blanket. The TV is still playingĀ Ginny & GeorgiaĀ ā of all things ā and the remote is loosely gripped in your hand, thumb resting just beside the volume button.
Anton smiles.
You mustāve tried to wait for him.
He pads over and crouches beside you, brushing a few strands of hair from your cheek. Your face is relaxed, lips parted slightly in your sleep. The kind of sleep where nothing could wake you.
Gently, he slips an arm beneath your knees and the other around your shoulders, lifting you bridal style. You stir a little, nose scrunching as you unconsciously curl against him, tucking your face into the crook of his neck.
His heartĀ melts.
āOf course you're cuddly now,ā he mumbles with a grin, carrying you to the bedroom.
He lays you down carefully, but before he can even pull away, your hand tugs weakly at his shirt.
āNoāstay.ā
He chuckles softly. āBaby, I need to shower. I smell like a gym.ā
āDonāt care,ā you mumble, eyes still shut. āSmell like⦠Anton.ā
āI donāt even know if thatās a compliment,ā he says, amused. But he presses a kiss to your forehead anyway, lingering for a second longer than necessary.
You let go, eventually, and Anton slips into the bathroom.
The sound of water running fills the apartment. You drift in and out of sleep, only properly waking when you hear the door click open and the faint whirr of a blow dryer. You peek through barely opened eyes.
Heās standing in front of the mirror, towel around his waist, head bowed slightly as he runs his fingers through his damp hair while drying it. The muscles in his back shift with each movement, and even in your sleepy haze, you canāt help but admire the view.
Without a word, you stand and pad across the room. He doesn't notice you until your arms snake around his waist from behind and your cheek presses into his back.
He stills.
Then: āWhy are you awake?ā His voice is quieter now, low and sweet, like itās reserved just for you.
You smirk against his skin. āGod forbid a girl misses her boyfriend.ā
Anton lets out a breathy laugh. He turns the dryer off, setting it on the counter.
He twists in your hold, turning to face you. Your arms stay wrapped around him loosely, and he dips his head until your foreheads touch.
āStill sleepy?ā he murmurs.
You nod. āMhm.ā
āBut not too sleepy to sneak up on me in my towel?ā
You smirk. āMaybe I like what I see.ā
He raises an eyebrow. āOh? Should I dry my hair more often, then?ā
You giggle, fingers tracing the edge of the towel just to mess with him. āYouāre so cocky.ā
āAnd yet,ā he leans in, brushing your nose with his, āyouāre wearing my shirt. Again.ā
āItās comfortable.ā
āItās mine.ā
āAnd Iām yours,ā you counter, eyes twinkling.
He kisses you then ā soft, slow, like heās been waiting for this all day. His hands settle on your hips, thumbs brushing the skin above your shorts, and when he pulls away, you chase his lips instinctively.
āI missed you,ā you whisper against his mouth.
āI missed you more,ā he says, voice almost a sigh. āCome back to bed with me?ā
You nod, eyes fluttering. āOnly if you carry me again.ā
He laughs, shaking his head, but he lifts you easily. āSpoiled.ā
You nuzzle into his chest, a content smile on your face. āYours.ā
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Going to lunch with your family is either the best or the worst time ever. Best? Because you're with people you haven't seen in a long time. The worst? Someone always has to make some type of comment about your appearance.
"You gained weight."
"Honey, look at your eyebagsāyou need to sleep."
"That skirt is not working out for you."
You've been dealing with these types of comments your whole life at these events. The worst part is that you never talk back because you always tell yourself they're just bitter people with nothing else to do in their lives, and you won't be affected by them. But the truth? You always come home, stand in front of the mirror, look at yourself, and start pointing out even more flaws.
You never mentioned this to your boyfriend, Anton. You've been dating for eight months and live together. He's met your parents but never the whole family. You're scared that if he hears these things, he'll start looking at what they're pointing out too. He does wonder why you never take him to these events, but he's never really askedāhoping that one day you'll invite him.
He hears you enter the apartment.
"Hey! You're home!"Ā He gets up from the sofa, beaming at the sight of you.
You force a smile toward him while he helps you take off your jacket and bag and hangs them in the entryway.
"How was the lunch, baby?"
"It was normal. Same old. Everyone was the same,"Ā you try to sound cheery.Ā "Toni, I'm just going to change clothes and I'll be with you in a minute, okay?"
"Sure, love. I'll look for a movie while you change."Ā He kisses your cheek.
You go into your shared room and start changing. Soon you're down to just your undergarments, standing in front of the mirror, over-analyzing your body. You take a closer look and trace your tired eyebags, searching for every flaw they pointed outāand then some. You don't even notice the tear that slips down your cheek.
Anton glances at his phone and realizes you've been in the room for a while. You usually change pretty fast. So he gets up and heads toward the bedroom.
There you are. In front of the mirror. Crying.
He comes up behind you, places his hands on your hips, and gently turns you around. You were so focused on criticizing yourself that you didn't even hear him come in.
He cups your face in his hands and kisses your tears away.Ā "What's going on, love? Talk to me."
"How do you even like me? When I look like this?"Ā You look down at the floor.
Anton is taken aback.Ā "What? Baby, where is this coming from?"
"I just feel ugly, Anton."Ā You turn back to the mirror.Ā "Look at me. I'm full of flaws."Ā Another tear slips out.
"Okay, no. I won't allow you to say these things about yourself. Everyone has flaws and insecurities, but this isn't random. What happened at lunch?"Ā He turns you around again, wiping the tears with his thumbs.
You forget that Anton can read you like an open book.
You take a shaky breath.Ā "It's always the same thing, Toni. I go to these things and all I hear is criticism. 'Oh, that skirt doesn't work for you right now, you must have gained weight.' Or 'You need to invest in a new concealer, honey. You don't want your boyfriend seeing you with those eyebags.'"
He wipes your tears gently.Ā "Baby⦠breathe. Look at me."Ā He grabs your chin and makes you meet his eyes.Ā "Those people are dumb. I'm sorryāI know they're your familyābut they have no right to say those things to you."
He turns you around so you're facing the mirror again.Ā "Look in the mirror, love."
You don't want to. You're afraid you'll just start crying all over again.
He lowers his head and whispers in your ear.Ā "Please, baby? For me?"Ā He nudges your chin upward with his finger.
You finally look.
"You know what I see?"Ā he says softly, his eyes meeting yours in the reflection.Ā "I see the gorgeous woman I fell in love with."
He pauses.
"I see your eyes."Ā He looks at them through the mirror.Ā "Your beautiful eyes that always look at me full of love and happiness."
"I see your cute nose." He boops it lightly. "And your cheeks⦠the ones that give me cuteness aggression every time I look at you." He kisses each one.
"I see your lips."Ā His thumb brushes over them.Ā "One of my favorite features on you."Ā He traces them with his fingertip.Ā "These beautiful lips I get to kiss every day."Ā He kisses you softly.
"I see this neck."Ā He caresses it, then presses a kiss to it.Ā "And these armsāthese beautiful arms that I always want to be wrapped around me."
"I see your chest and your curvesāthe ones that always drive me crazy."Ā His hands slide down to your stomach, then rest on your hips.Ā "And these thighs⦠the ones I love to be between."Ā He kisses your neck again, slower this time.
"Let me show you how beautiful you are." he whispers "Let me worship you, baby."
His lips brush your ear.
"Can I?"
You just nod.
He leads you over to the bed, never breaking the kiss. He lays you down gently and just looks at you for a second.
āFuck⦠youāre so pretty. Itās insane.ā
He helps you sit up just enough to take your bra off, then leans in again, kissing along your neck. One hand comes up to your chest, squeezing softly while his fingers flick over your nipple, pulling a moan from your lips.
He lays you back down and pecks your lips before moving lower, kissing down your neck, your collarbones, your chest. One hand stays on your breast while his mouth focuses on the otherālicking, then sucking your nipple slowly, sensually.
āSo fucking perfectā¦ā
He continues downward, leaving a trail of kisses along your stomach. He takes his time, pressing soft kisses and light love bites along your thighs, hands gently caressing your calves.
Finally, he hovers over your clothed core.
His fingers trace the lace of your panties. āThese look really cute on you, baby⦠but theyād look better on the bedroom floor.ā
You let out a small laugh.
He slides them off slowly, then leans down, pressing a kiss to your core. You sigh at the contact. His tongue runs along your slit before flattening against you, moving slowly, deliberatelyālike heās savoring every second.
āFuck⦠you taste so good,ā he murmurs, glancing up at you. āLook at you⦠so pretty for me. Let me hear you.ā
He slips a finger inside you.
āAntonāā you moan, gripping the sheets.
He adds another finger, curling them just right, hitting that spot that makes your breath hitch. At the same time, he returns to your clit, sucking gently.
āFuck, Toni⦠Iām gonna cumāā
āDo it, baby.ā
Thatās all it takes. You fall apart around his fingers, your body tensing as you release.
He comes back up, kissing you immediatelyāyou can taste yourself on him. He groans softly into the kiss before pulling away.
Then he quickly gets rid of his clothes.
Your eyes drag over his bodyāhis shoulders, his absāuntil they land on his cock. Hard, flushed, leaking, waiting for you.
He comes back down, kissing you again. Your hand wraps around him, giving him a few slow pumps, and he lets out a soft whimper against your lips.
He shifts on top of you, dragging his length through your wetness, the contact making you gasp.
Then he pushes in.
āFuck⦠youāre tight,ā he breathes, voice shaky.
He starts slow, thrusts deep and steady. He leans down to kiss you again.
āYou look unreal right now⦠all breathless, moaning for me.ā
He pulls back slightly, watching himself slide in and out of you.
āLook at this pretty pussy⦠taking me so well. Fuck, youāre sucking me ināā
āAntonāfuckāā you cry, wrapping your legs around his waist, pulling him even deeper.
āYouāre so big⦠fuck, so deepāā
āFeels good, baby?ā he asks, eyes fixed on your face.
āSo goodāfuckāā
He lifts one of your legs onto his shoulder and picks up the pace. His hand grabs your chest again, fingers playing with your nipple as you arch your back.
āAnton, Iām closeāā
He moves his hand down, rubbing your clit, adding to the sensation.
You whimper his name as he groans, feeling you tighten around him.
āFuck⦠youāre squeezing me so good. Iām gonna cumāā
āIām cummingāfuckāToniāā
āYeah, baby⦠cum with meāā
Thatās all it takes.
You both fall over the edge at the same time, your body clenching around him as he groans, finishing with you.
You both come down from your high, and Anton slips out and lays beside you, pulling you close.
You look into his eyes, and he brushes your hair out of your face.
"You are the most beautifulā"Ā kissĀ "āsexyā"Ā kissĀ "āgorgeousā"Ā kissĀ "āwoman in the world. And I'll be here to remind you of that every time. I love you."
You smile into his kisses.Ā "I love you, Anton Lee. Thank you for helping me with my insecurities."
"That's my job, baby."Ā He pauses.Ā "I guess I know why you never take me to these things now."
"Yeah. I'm sorry. I was scared that you would start looking at those insecurities they point out."
"Baby, I would never. I think you should be more worried about whether I'm gonna cuss someone in your family out for saying dumb shit to you."
You laugh.
"Matter of fact, I wanna go to the next lunch. Give them a piece of my mind."
"My own hero,"Ā you tease sarcastically.
"Ha ha ha. Don't laugh at me. I just wanna say something to the people who made my girl sad."
You kiss him.Ā "You don't need to, baby. I'll handle them next time."
He gets closer and pouts into your neck.Ā "Still going."