#zelda encyclopedia

Firstly, a thing that made me laugh as I saw the pictures I gathered for this very serious case is the clear gradual lack of respect me and my... Research Partner had for the book :

There's a "sticky notes" era, a "pencils 'cause we aren't gonna waste so many sticky notes at worst we'll erase" era, and a "we don't give a fuck anymore get the markers out" era.

Last time I divided the mistakes in three categories, "Lore mistakes", "Translation mistakes" and the dreaded "What the fuck mistakes". They are... Inegal, to say the least, but let's keep this system !

Translation Mistakes

And I mean it in the sense that "the french translation have different names and stuff than the english one and this book ignores them", not in just general translation... Because if you go that way, this entire book is a translation mistake !

But here we go :

Little details, but they left "Koroks" written this way when the french version is "Korogus", they left "Impar" (the character from Twilight princess) when in french her name is, well, Impa, they left "Mia" for the name of the remlit when it's "Miou"...

As you'll see along the way, my research partner got very mad at the book and wrote a lot of funny comments. Here you can see that next to where the book says that the river zoras "become violent", she wrote "not all zora" in all caps, which I find hilarious.

And she's right ! Don't badmouth Echoes of Wisdom Dradd, he's a cool dude !

Here, the book pretends that the kikwis all have sort of teas as their name. English reader, I hear you get offended : "The book is right !"

NOT IN FRENCH IT'S NOT ! Here, kikwis have herbs inspired names, not tea.

Well, I was going to make a joke about "DO YOU REALLY WANT TO DRINK PARSLEY OR BASIL TEA ?" but apparently they exist, so. My bad. Can we still agree that these are not types of tea ? There's tea with parsley, but the parsley is not the tea, right ?

(Just for fun, our kikwis are named : Basil (for basil, shocker I know), Jasmi (for jasmine), Pirsel (for "persil", parsley), Romar (for "romarin", rosemary) and Lorion (probably for "laurier", bay leaf. This one is less obvious so I'm not sure)

So here it's a little worse than the other times because in the text, they used the literal translation of "The Imprisoned" from Skyward Sword, except in the title they used the correct french name, "the banished".

They really said : Here's a description of le Banni ! He's called le Prisonnier.

WHY

Ok so this one is a little funny to me, bear with me alright ?

In Phantom Hourglass, one type of enemies are the Phantoms in the Ocean King temple, right ? Well, Phantom in french (literally AND in Zelda, wonderful) is Spectre.

Alright ? So what do the book say about Phantoms ? That they are Fantômes. Fantôme is a word that is phonetically the exact same as Phantom, see ? But it means ghost. Not phantom.

(I mean, they're synonyms, you know ? So phantom kinda means ghost and fantôme kinda means spectre, but It Is Not The Translation in the game so it makes it worse)

Actually, it was funny, but as I explains it it makes me a little mad. It was one google search away...

URGH and it's just the same thing again, yes technically the literal translation for "Triforce of Power" would be "Triforce de la puissance", but is it what it is in french ? NO, IT'S TRIFORCE DE LA FORCE (strength). I was alright with random characters name getting mispelled, but FUCK THIS ENCYCLOPEDIA, THIS ONE IS LITERALLY IN MULTIPLE GAMES LIKE EVEN IF YOU DON'T KNOW MUCH ABOUT LOZ YOU KNOW THAT AT LEAST

All of these are details, but damn Zelda Encyclopedia, I know I'm insane about these games so maybe it's not that deep, but you're writing for the french fans, THE LEAST YOU COULD DO IS WRITE THE FRENCH VERSION OF THINGS

Whew, ok, this is starting to annoy me I feel, so let's change subject, why not ? Here are the :

Lore Mistakes

There are not a lot of them, but they made me gesture widely at the book trying to form a sentence that, if I had managed, would probably have been "Where the fuck did they get that from ?"

Which means that there's a possibility that it's right, but seeing this bitch's track record, I'm going to assume it's not.

Here are pictures of Kokiris, what is the description ?

"Since they're the Hylians' descendants, they look a lot like them."

Since

WHEN ?

Like, genuinely, help me there. Am I the problem ? Are the kokiris supposed to be descended from the Hylians ? And if they are, where is it cited ? I literally almost completed Ocarina of Time for the second time and cannot remember it being hinted at anywhere. Like yeah, they look alike, but aren't kokiris separate forest spirits ???

The tone of the book also annoy me, like "since they're hylians' descendants", as if it was common sense. SIR I PLAY THESE GAMES SINCE I'M OLD ENOUGH TO HOLD A CONTROLLER WHERE DO YOU GET YOUR INFO FROM

It's making me question whether I'm stupid or if it's just bullshitting me right now !

This one is a graph about the different worlds in LoZ. My problem here is that... Well, firstly, my problem is that there is the Sky and the Skies, but I guess that this is like... TP Sky and SS Sky, maybe ?

The real problem is that between these two categories they put "Minish World".

Minish World ? You mean, like, Hyrule ?

...Ok, I'm jesting, they probably mean Cloud Tops and the Wind Tribe. But in that case... Say that ? They make it sound like all the Minish live in the sky ! Precisely between two versions of the sky !

Are minish angels...? No, better question. ARE MINISH OOCCA ??

This one annoys me greatly for several reasons, but I'm going to be so so brave about it :

As you can see, it's a representation of the LoZ Timeline, with two games highlighted : Link's Awakening and Phantom Hourglass. It's because this is talking about when Link goes in adventures in parallel worlds.

So firstly, fuck Majora's Mask, right ?

And then, the thing I have underlined is saying that those events happened in "both case after Ganon was slayed".

See how they say Ganon and not Ganondorf. See it, 'cause I'm not going to make any comment about it because it's nOT THAT IMPORTANT

Quick reminder : Ganondorf got defeated but Hyrule was left destroyed in Wind Waker (third branch of the timeline). Ganondorf's plans were foiled before he had time to do anything in Majora's Mask (second branch of the timeline).

You know where Ganondorf didn't get defeated ?? IN THE FIRST BRANCH OF THE TIMELINE. THE ONE WHERE LINK'S AWAKENING IS.

Really, why go out of your way to say that if it's Not Fucking Correct ? This book wakes up some kind of ancient wrath in me that should only belong to children whose snack got confiscated in school !

Ok, as I said earlier, there aren't many lore mistakes, but that's good because they are the ones that makes me question my sanity the most. Let's go to the category you're probably waiting for :

What the fuck mistakes

Starting with a tame one, but :

This book is incapable of saying the word "regent". It is literally saying, for both Hilda and Midna, that these "princesses" are the "queens" of their kingdom.

No they're not, they're princesses, you just said so, IT'S NOT THE SAME GODDAMN TITLE !!

So this one almost made it to the translation mistakes, but it's in the 'what the fuck' ones simply because it's so poorly translated that I'm not even sure what they originally meant.

It's talking about Spirit Tracks' Tower of Spirit, and you can read "Sparkling trains are activated thanks to the gathered energy."

Excuse me,

Sparkling Trains ?

My guess is that they're talking about the tracks, but even then, they're not called "sparkling" ? And if they're really talking about the tracks, they're then talking about the Spirit Tracks. You know, the ones the game is named about ?

Then, a question : WHERE THE FUCK DID "SPARKLING" CAME FROM.

In the same style, but this time I simply hated it too much to put it in Translation Mistakes : Remember the Fused Shadows in Twilight Princess ? Well in french, they're called Shadow Shards.

What do they call it here ? "Melted Shadows". Not fused, not shards, I'm losing my fucking mind

As I have written on my sticky note, this one is a very disrespectful one. Ciela, the fairy from Phantom Hourglass, has the same name in french and in english, but somehow they still managed to write "Chiela".

Why is it so disrespectful ? BECAUSE IT SOUNDS LIKE "SHIT" IN FRENCH. SPECIFICALLY, IT SOUNDS LITERALLY LIKE THE SENTENCE "SHIT HERE". CIELA IS A PRETTY NAME, DAMNIT

Actually, it annoyed me so much that I went out of my way to show that thIS BOOK KNOWS HER NAME ! THEY DON'T HAVE ANY EXCUSES !!!

JUSTICE FOR CIELA !! FUCK YOU, FRENCH ZELDA ENCYCLOPEDIA !!!!

Honestly, it's funny to me now that these first pages had sticky notes. Ah, the good time from when I still had a slither of respect for this book...

Here, it just describes every Light Spirit from Twilight princess with animals : "goat, monkey, butterfly, snake". Firstly, they don't look exactly like animals, secondly...

Butterfly ?

I mean, Eldin has always looked like an owl to me ? Ok, the wings are vaguely butterfly-shaped, but it has a body and a face ?

Was Eldin a butterfly all along ? Am I going insane ? (ok yes I am, but reader, do you really see Eldin as a butterfly ???)

Oh ok, so now we just don't translate anything anymore. Remember how this isn't the first time this encyclopedia does that to me. You're right, why bother, I STILL HAVE TO FACT-CHECK THE BOOK ANYWAY, MIGHT AS WELL LEAVE IT AS IT WAS IN ENGLISH.

You know what else we could do ?

Leave actual mistakes in the book ! Let's forget a whole ass word in a sentence ! And why stop at random words ? Let's not proof read the title of the games ! Twillight Princess with two Ls ! What's next, MINISHIP CAP ??

(I said last time I'll never get over it, well, I didn't)

I think on my first post someone commented that the LoZ offical books weren't very accurate to begin with, and I hear that... But I still think there's a difference between accuracy and whatever the fuck this encyclopedia has going on

I spared you (and myself) some longer paragraphs that would have been harder to translate, but I swear to god it sounds like it hasn't been written by a human sometimes ! It's like they just put the whole book through a translator, and then went back to ADD some more mistakes ! I genuinely don't understand how an official product can be that bad !! It is hilarious, but also I want to bite through it sometimes.

I hope at least you enjoyed watching me lose my mind again ! It is fun to share how bad this book is, and I have to admit I had good laughs out of it. We haven't even attacked the items list yet... I'm scared ! But if I find atrocities, I'll report them here too.

Note : I actually usually prefer the french translation in Zelda ! They do a good job at translating things that make sense, leaving things as they are when it isn't needed, and I often find the translated characters' names prettier. (Example : Makar, the korok from Wind Waker, is called Dumoria. I have NO IDEA why it changes so much but it sound so much better in my opinion !) So this is not VF hate. This is genuine uncomprehension as to WHY IS THE BOOK LIKE THIS.

Now, you don't need to go far into the book to have a problem with it.

First few pages. Like literally before the actual content of the book. Presentation of the games. Easy enough, right ? Not hard to beta read, RIGHT ?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN "THE MINISHIP CAP". WHAT DO YOU MEAN. IT'S NOT LIKE THE TITLE IS WRITTEN ON THE PICTURE ABOVE. How did it happen ?? The name doesn't even change in french, help

"Miniship cap" I already want to quit and it's my INTRODUCTION to this book.

We can divide the mistakes of this book in three categories :

- Lore mistake

- Translation mistake

- Wtf mistakes

I would place "Miniship cap" in the WTF category, for obvious reasons. (HOW???)

The first two categories are easily justified : they asked someone to reread the book and the person wasn't very interested/didn't know Zelda well. But it makes the book LIE

Example of lore mistake :

The title here is " The Ancient Temple, marked by the loftwings".

THE L O F T W I N G S.

This is the ancient temple in Twilight Princess. This is supposed to read OCCAS ! SKYWARD SWORD WASN'T EVEN RELEASED YET !! LOFTWINGS DIDN'T EXIST !

Why did this happen ? Well, in french, Loftwings are called "Célestriers" (mix of the words "céleste", celestial, and "destrier", which is apparently the same in english but I've never seen it before, it's a horse usually or an animal you ride). And Occas ? Are called "Célestiens". People that lives in the sky, basically.

So yeah, Célestriers, Célestiens, I SEE the mistake, ok ?

But still. Uncool. Boo.

Now, example of translation mistake :

The first sentence here is a description of a picture, it reads "Aryll is abducted by Helmaroc King on Ganondorf's orders".

Why isn't this shocking to you, english reader ? Because Helmaroc King is the ENGLISH name of the big bird. In french, there are no "roi Helmaroc" ("roi" means king). It has been translated.

But maybe the book doesn't know, right ? IT'S NOT LIKE THE NAME IS WRITTEN ON THE NEXT PAGE, RIGHT ?

THERE. LE ROI CUIRASSE. THIS IS THE BITCH I KNOW ABOUT. I'M LOSING MY MIND

But again, alright, I guess someone didn't think to translate the name. Some characters's names aren't translated (example : french Skull kid is called... Skull kid. I am thankful for that), so maybe they just didn't THINK to check if there was a translation.

Even though. It was on the next page.

AND I WAS GOING TO LET ROI HELMAROC SLIDE. I WAS.

AND THEN I LOOKED AT THE SAME FUCKING PICTURE I TOOK OF THE BOOK.

First thing I underlined, "Mélodie", is a typo of Medli's name in french, which is "Médolie". I get it, it's an anagram, I've read it Mélodie my whole childhood, OK French Zelda Encyclopedia. OK.

BUT "ÉPÉE MAÎTRESSE" ?? NO.

THE MASTER SWORD IS NOT FUCKING CALLED "ÉPÉE MAÎTRESSE". MAÎTRESSE IS WHAT YOU CALL YOUR TEACHER WHEN SHE'S A WOMAN AND YOU'RE TEN, OK ?

(Actually, "maître" and its feminization "maîtresse" do mean master. But it's. It feels wrong. It's not the in-game name, and it feels wrong.)

THE MASTER SWORD IS "ÉPÉE DE LÉGENDE", OK ? LEGENDARY SWORD. THERE IS NO ÉPÉE MAÎTRESSE.

AT LEAST I HOPE.

Breathing in, breathing out... Ok. A not so important one :

"Les oiseaux" means "the birds", and yes, in english, those cuties are called "little birds" which would be literally "petits oiseaux" in french. (I know, too much vowels, I'm not here to defend my birth language BEAR WITH ME)

But in the VF ? They aren't 'birds'. They are PIOUPS. (Pronounced pyoop, it doesn't mean anything, just mimic the bird's noise)

THEY ARE 'PETITS PIOUPS' ALRIGHT ? AND I LOVE THEM. I'm just. Sad that their name isn't in the book. This is petits pioups erasure.

(After checking, the item they drop is called "plume d'oiseau", so "bird feather". The word "pioup" is just in the description of the item, so... Maybe it's just me. BUT STILL. LET ME CALL THEM PIOUPS IT'S ADORABLE)

And we're not even in my favorite category ! May I introduce :

The what the fuck mistakes

Aka : I can't understand how they let it slide.

Here I want you to read the description of the picture 6.

"Playing the Song of Healing, Link gets his normal appearance back".

Ok, this is probably a description of when Link goes from Deku Scrub back to Hylian, so I am expecting a picture of Link !

Image 6 : WHY IS IT THE CREEPY LINK STATUE.

DID THEY KNOW ABOUT BEN DROWNED ?? WHY IS THE WORST POSSIBLE REPRESENTATION OF LINK IS DESCRIBED WITH "LINK GOES BACK TO NORMAL". NO. NO I AM CALLING MY LAWYER, BOOK, YOU CAN'T DO THAT TO ME.

You know, in a book, there can be translating errors... And, apparently, there also can be "we forgot to fucking translate" errors.

Plural.

IN THE GODDAMN TITLES.

And I studied graphic design, alright. I know, TRUST ME, I know your eyes can get used to the titles and make you miss 'obvious' mistakes.

BUT THIS IS WHY YOU GET SOMEONE TO RE-READ. This is a fucking official book ! That has been published by probably very official publishers, I don't know, I haven't checked !

POURQUOI LE LIVRE EST NUL ? POURQUOI EST-CE QU'IL Y A AUTANT D'ERREURS ? COMMENT EST-CE QUE "MINISHIP CAP" EST ARRIVÉ ? OÙ SONT LES PETITS PIOUPS ? ENGAGEZ-MOI POUR RELIRE LE LIVRE LA PROCHAINE FOIS C'EST PAS POSSIBLE !!

I at least hope some of you laughed watching me losing my mind in french ; I hit the ten images limit, but I'm sure I'll find enough for a part two. I've lost all faith in this book. I'll read it thoroughly just to scream about it on Tumblr.

[*holding a knife towards the book* I won't let anything slide, you hear me ?]