#zed rambles

and I'm not saying that in a I don't want them to be together way I'm saying it in a I think they both need to grow a lot as people before they'll be able to have a healthy relationship way

Daniel is rude, pushy, and more than a little self centered and I think it'll take him a while to really come around to that place of being emotionally intimate with Armand

usually these posts act as if it's some terrible writing failure that Louis is deeply in love with Lestat (you know as if that's not the entire point of the iwtv book and most of the reason that the Vampire Chronicles are as popular as they are) and often refer to Lestat being "some blond man"

and I wonder how much of those posts are simply due to people being unable to imagine something from another person's pov, I wonder if these people simply do not find Lestat attractive and have decided that since they can't then no person would ever be able to find him attractive

I wonder if they genuinely cannot under Louis' love for Lestat simply because they cannot understand a character's actions unless they would also take the same actions

I remember when I started watching the show (I had read the books many years ago so I came in with some expectations but not that many) I was almost immediately blown away by my attraction to Lestat*

I found myself really understanding Louis' conflicting emotions in season one and empathizing with them because I also felt that magnetic and mesmerizing pull that Lestat had and it really enhanced my experience of that season

the thing is I can also understand and empathize with characters when I do not personally relate to their choices and opinions (most of time I do not understand the stupid choices characters make when in love but beyond some mild aromantic bitching I'm willing to accept that in universe the character is in love and thus their actions will reflect that)

so much of the fandom complaints in the current era seem to boil down to "I would not do things like that and thus I am going to blame it on bad writing rather than trying to consider if the character would do that"

it's like people have forgotten the point of having distinct characters in the first place and instead approach every story like a cyoa game and then get upset when a character's actions are distinctly shaped by their experiences and worldview rather than being what the complainer thinks is the correct thing to do

because i find myself wanting discussion, looking for nuanced analysis of this amazing show and while it does exist it's so hard to find that when you're newly entering a fandom nowadays

fandom over the years has become more and more of a hobby of consumption rather than collaboration, the way we interact and the way we treat fanworks has become so passive that when i find a show i desperately want to discuss with someone i first must search to find fans that want to discuss it (don't get me wrong i love the memes and jokes side of fandom as much as anyone else but it's a noticeable thing how over the years that has sort of eclipsed the analysis side)

finding meta and discussion takes a certain level of effort, creating a dialog between you and another fan takes a certain level of effort

i guess i just miss the days of forums, sometimes i just want to easily be able to find people discussing things they like

I want forums and group chats, I want to talk to people and make friends. When I have a lot of energy I want to talk to people on tumbr about my ideas and when I'm low on energy i want to have a handful of fandom friends I can text shitposts to

Tumblr feels like shouting into the void and sometimes that's good but more often then not i think I want to chat with the void over tea

One easy way to do that is making more irl nerdy friends (something I try to do every time i go to a con) but I'm not so sure how to do it online

I'm much more introverted online than I am irl and I always feel weird asking people online for stuff like their discord name (Not to mention I don't really use discord so ideally I'd prefer to ask people for their whatsapp number which would probably seem even weirder)