17. things you said that i wish you hadn’t (YuiMari)

Contradiction

    It had been a perfect conclusion to their vacation to the mountain resort. Yui Ayanami and Mari Makinami watched the sunset, nibbling on sweets together. Kyouko Soryuu had wandered off, leaving the two of them alone for now, giving Mari a knowing wink. The three friends had gone to the retreat in celebration of graduating, and so Mari could finally tell Yui about her feelings. The resort was quiet enough, romantic enough, to provide the right mood. And even in casual clothes, Mari was taken aback by the beauty Yui radiated. Mari entertained a fantasy where she and Yui elope, traveling back to the United Kingdom as fast as a plane could carry them. Probably stop over in Germany to drop of Kyouko. Then they could have a laugh at Gendo for thinking that he was good enough for Yui. He wasn’t.  

    It was just a fantasy, but depending on how the night went Mari would most likely make plans to return to Japan in the near future.

    Mari inched closer to Yui, one hand drifting on top of the other woman’s.Yui let it rest, splaying her fingers so that Mari’s slipped between them. Mari’s heart skipped a beat. It skipped another one as Yui leaned in to rest her head on Mari’s shoulder. With her free hand, Yui popped another sweet into her mouth.

    “You’ve got something to say?” Yui asked teasingly. Mari simply nodded, sliding closer to Yui. Her skin was soft and warm, and in the cold mountain air it was a godsend. The feeling of gentle comfort made her next words all that much easier. 

    “I love you, you dummy.” Mari confessed as the sun dipped below the horizon. Yui stared ahead for a moment, Mari noting how she swallowed repeatedly. Then she turned to face Mari, cupping her cheek in her hand and gently rubbing it. Yui was smiling, and though it was slight, as all her smiles were, Mari could see the emotions behind it.

    “I’d be lying if I said that I felt differently.” A grin spread on Mari’s face, her eyes growing wide. The effect was only amplified by Yui’s old glasses. “But I have to do this. I can’t run away now.” Yui dropped Mari’s hand, stepping away from her and turning away, looking down the mountain. Yui leaned forward, resting her elbows on the handrail and folding her hands under her chin. Her thinking pose. There was an audible sniffle, and Mari sunk back away from the balcony. She picked up the pace, moving towards their room. 

    She had been prepared for rejection. For a shake of the head from Yui, followed by assurance that she was still her friend. She had been prepared for acceptance. A twilight kiss in the open air. She had not been prepared for this. For knowing she had succeeded yet failed at the same time. Stepping onto that plane tomorrow would be the most difficult event in her life because of that.

18.things you said when you were scared (AsuKyu)

Pathos

    Asuka could feel the other pilot’s heartbeat pound in her chest as they pressed against each other in the abandoned closet, far too cramped for the three people currently occupying it. Outside, she could hear the sounds of the NERV probe, one of their Nemesis series, move around the building they were in, tearing it down as it went. The probe knew they were there, that much was certain. The grim realization made Asuka’s stomach twist into a knot. It would continue to search for them until it found something, or so she suspected.  

    Every time she heard another section of the building fall she felt Kyu flinch, her muscles tensing and head shifting on Asuka’s shoulder. Shinji inhaled sharply from his position behind Ayanami, cowering in the corner. Asuka paid him no mind. She would usually complain about his cowardice, but right now she’d be lying if she said she wasn’t terrified.

   Ayanami shifted slightly against Asuka, breathing short, quick breaths. Asuka took a moment to memorize the face in front of her, giving her something to do instead of think of what could happen in the next few minutes. It had only been a week since the battle, and Ayanami had been the only one for Asuka to talk to, but even so the Ayanami who had piloted the Mark.09 had become so much more. Asuka was impressed by how fast she was learning, growing. So it wasn’t fair that Ayanami-Kyu, Asuka corrected herself, that was the name they had agreed on last night-would never get to live the life that she had just been introduced to.

    Asuka was having trouble accepting that this could be the end. After so long fighting, so many close brushes with death, she never had been frightened as she was now. Perhaps it was because she had always been inside her Eva when she was dealing with death. Now she could meet her death at the hands of an automated probe she could have dealt with in her sleep had she had her Eva. She found it pathetic.

    Shinji pressed himself deeper into the corner of the closet. Kyu shuffled closer to Asuka, as much as she possibly could. Pale arms lightly wrapped around the German, and Asuka returned the gesture. She could feel both of their heartbeats start to slow as they embraced. Even though they were not emotionally close, the physical connection was comforting. For Asuka, it had been years since anyone had hugged her; for Kyu, it was a new experience.

   “Shikinami. There is so much I want to see, but I may not get the chance.” Kyu lamented in a whisper barely above a breath. Asuka understood. She was scared as well. The Nemesis moved close enough for the ground to shake. Asuka’s heart leapt into her throat and Kyu whimpered slightly.

   “We will,” Asuka muttered, equally quiet. Even if it was hollow assurance, it still felt good to hear. It seemed to work for Kyu, Asuka felt the girl’s heartbeat quiet. Asuka shut her good eye, tightening the embrace and feeling it tighten in response. Another movement from the probe, shifting the ground beneath them. The world seemed to stand still. In a moment the feeling would pass, something would happen. The probe would either overlook them or they would be dead.

8. things you said when you were crying (AsuRei)

Antithesis

    Asuka had been in a daze when she stumbled into the apartment block, seemingly abandoned. The West end of Tokyo-3 was slated for demolition, so no one should have lived there. It was why she had come to the area, to escape people. Escape her life, if only temporarily. Yet it hadn’t been abandoned, if the sounds of crying were any indication.

    Nor could Asuka understand why she had followed those sounds if she was so determined to avoid people. Yet she had done just that, and it had led her to an apartment with the door ajar. The carpet was scuffed at the entrance, which made Asuka pause. It was different than anything else she had encountered since moving to Japan. So who was it? But in the end it only piqued her curiosity, and she stepped into the room.

    She soon found the source of the sobs, though she didn’t believe it at first. The doll. The First Child, the emotionless automation of the Commander. Rei Ayanami. The lump of white and blue was on the bed in one of the back rooms, balling her eyes out. There was a pair of glasses casually discarded to one side. Asuka moved closer, wondering if she hadn’t gone mad. If this was just some hallucination brought on from lack of sleep and depression. Her hand reached out, touching Rei on the shoulder. That was real enough. Instantly the blue haired clone looked up at the intruder and grasped the hand that had made contact with her. Her red eyes were bloodshot, and her face was flush from sobbing.

   They stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity. Rei too distressed to ask why Asuka was here, Asuka too confused to ask Rei what was going on. There was a gentle tug on Asuka’s hand, and Rei moved over ever so slightly so she could sit. Asuka did so, neither of them caring if her dirty shoes got on Rei’s sheet. Asuka began to weep, softly at first, still trying to hold it back.

   She eventually gave in though, curling up and lying on her side as tears flowed freely. She could not look any more weak than Rei did, so there was no reason to try to appear stronger than she really was. The meek grip on Rei’s hand was the only thing that kept her from drowning in her grief completely.