I recently rewatched season 1 and these characters are niggling at my brain even more than usual....
The show is about many things, but to me ultimately all the main characters' arcs explore the questions: What do we owe to ourselves? What do we owe to the people around us (especially those we love, but also others with whom we're connected/implicated)?
I'm thinking about how Simon flinches and bats Wille's hands away when he keeps trying to touch his face on the football field, the same night that Simon has the confrontation with his dad and Micke shoves him into the wall.
Thinking about Simonās face when Wille yells at him about the drug situation:
Whereas when Simon has serious conversations with Wille, he tends to be so quiet, controlled: their conversation at Lucia when he gives in and comforts Wille; the āI donāt want to be anyoneās secretā breakup; the āIām glad you said those things to them but maybe this just isnāt going to workā birthday breakup.
Obviously Simon holds his own. He has a temper as well, and raises his voice, and physically attacks August. He and Wille both escalate.
But when Simon says he can't do it anymore after Wille explodes at his parents and throws things, that's, what, 6 weeks? after Simon stood there as Wille made August kneel, execution-style, and pointed a loaded rifle at August's throat and forehead as he verbally threatened to shoot him ā and goes on to fire the rifle. (Wille is so deranged with rage here the screengrabs are unsettling so I'm omitting... also Edvin is phenomenal).
Iām not suggesting Simon is scared of Wille, or that Wille poses a threat to Simon. But Wille is volatile. Itās one of the things that makes him so interesting to me as a character. All of his jagged edges, discomforting impulses, hypocrisies, intense emotions he's been told he has to suppress to be acceptable, to be "good."
I feel like we focus on the ending as a hopeful moment of ālove is allā (and it can be that too!) but itās so much more interesting to me as an expression of how the show explores choice.
In those final moments, we see Wille and Simon each choose themselves. For Wille, it's to tell his mother he wants to step down. And for Simon, itās to follow his deep desire to give Wille ā to give them ā another chance.
Earlier in 3.6 when Sara tells Simon āyou were right to give people another chance, itās braveā hasn't been canonized the way other moments in the show have, but to me it's such a pivotal scene. Ostensibly theyāre talking about Micke, but of course itās about Wille too.
Simon knows it might all still fall apart, but he says yes anyway.
@books-books-smolderinglooks
For all that we emphasize how devoted Wille is to Simon (as he is!), the fact that Simon gets out of the car at the end, and puts himself out there ā yet again ā to hear what Wille has to say, and then takes the risk of saying yes is such a remarkable moment of grace. For both of them.


















