#yougin

I’m going to be honest here.

I’m in an anti-man state. So I think its time for an asshole sabbatical.

I’m in a place emotionally where I’m dead inside. I’ve emotionally died of exhaustion. And niggas with their fuckshit, have killed me.

I was trying to be nice so long, suppressing shit as not to explode on the men I’ve encountered that I can’t be bothered to react pleasantly anymore.

I’m walking around on ten and ready to punch any nigga demonstrating any type of fuckshit in his face. So when let’s say a guy texts me and says, “I miss you” I don’t know how to react.

How could you miss me nigga when you did absolutely nothing positive or encouraging to keep me? You don’t call me, you don’t invite me out, you don’t “check in on me” in any way and then expect me to have a heart warming reaction to your seemingly random mind numbing attempts to convey some ‘real’ feeling towards me.

These guys that I’ve encountered this year have accidentally checked into gay clubs and accidentally text-ed me and their girlfriends on group chats; or cajoled me into paying their phone bills so they could not even bother to call me for damn near 2 weeks and then when they text me one day randomly saying “I miss our friendship” I’m suppose to be enamored??

What friendship, nigga? You miss my pussy. Can you guys PLEASE STOP PLAYING GAMES HERE?!

I wasn’t a friend when niggas was checking in at gay clubs or when they had a WHOLE NOTHER GIRLFRIEND on the side or when they were Instagram flexing on other chicks pages thanks to me paying their phone bill. All I was trying to do was be down. Even through the FUCKSHIT.

What perplexes me most is I’m never “actively” seeking these people out …

So why disturb someone who’s not bothering YOU to activate bullshit?

I don’t get it.

I've taken all the advice of my counsel, tried "different" strategies and approaches toward men, including patience, OVERLOOKING ALOT OF BULLSHIT, being more “understanding”. Shit- Damn near docile. I've taken full accountability for myself and I don’t deserve anymore FUCKSHIT!!

I'm accumulating a pretty heavy chip on my shoulder right now. I don't want to hear anymore about what I could do better. It's time to admit that some of these niggas ain't shit and that's not MY fault!!

I’ve ignored enough obvious bullshit when I would’ve much rather preferred to go AWF on a nigga. I just took the lessons from the experiences politely and positively and moved on.

So why do they KEEP COMING BACK??

It’s absolutely offensive to me at this point and to be honest I’m angry. I'm even angry about the fact that this is making me angry which is turning me into the very thing I don’t want to be. THE ANGRY BLACK CHICK.

Ms "Unapproachable"; Ms. "Emotionally damaged"; the tempestuous man hating shrew we all know and love. I REALLY didn't want to have to be this way but frankly, these niggas leave me no choice. When I was nice niggas didn't appreciate me, when I was tolerant I just got more bullshit to tolerate and the moment I explode on one of these assholes, folks will say, oh she’s “CRAZY”. She’s too emotional. Damn, why she act like that?? BLAH!

I’m giving up. And it’s not that I don’t thoroughly appreciate these half assed attempts to engage me for more of the same bullshit they’ve already subjected me to it’s just that I just want to be left alone for a while. I’m not interested in any friendships right now, fellas… sorry.

Please "miss me" with the bullshit entirely...

A bitch is TIRED.

But do ya’ll see why tho? I mean look at the shit I keep dealing with? Can you understand my stank ass attitude? Why I’m just over it? Why I don't even want to be bothered to respond to these fragile nigga's feeble attempts?

No wonder so many of us walk around mad in a perpetual state of eye rolling contempt and when a halfway decent dude does approach he's chewed the fuck out before it ever gets off the ground?

I just don't want y'all to wonder why I'm alone, or why I look so mad or why I'm not smiling when you see me.

I’ve had my heart broken several times this year alone and still I tried to rise above it all but right now I just want to lay down and be left alone so please…

Come and get your boyfriends and husbands and dudes who know damn well they aren’t serious and have NO FUCKING BUSINESS IN MY FACE who keep trying to randomly inbox with me about mundane shit as an IN to “toe test” me. I’m not ready.

You miss me? You still love me? You’re sorry and NOW you’ve realized that you fucked up…

Uh huh, I hear ya, buddy. (frankly, what’s not to miss?!) but I’m not interested right now. So please… dear God, give me a damn break.

Yes, I got your messages. Yes, I ‘read’ your text. Yes, Danita gave me your messages to call you… I GOT IT. Now please leave me alone and go away!

I presently have no desire for anymore of your fuckshit.