#yooooooooooooooooooooo

You are not prepared for the gifset I'm charging here.

Well, my mommy left home before I was three  And she didn’t leave much to Ma and me  Just this bass guitar and an empty bottle of Spiffy

Now, I don’t blame her, ‘cause she run and hid  But the meanest thing that she ever did  Was before she left, she went and named me “Yiffy” 

Well, she must a’ thought that it was quite a joke  And it got a lot of laughs from lots a’ folks  It seems I had to fight my whole life gritty

Some gal would giggle and I’d get red  And some guy’d laugh and I’d bust his head  I’ll tell ya, life ain’t easy for a kid named “Yiffy” 

Well, I grew up quick and I grew up mean  My fist got hard and my wits got keen  Roam from school to school to hide my shame 

But I made me a vow to the gods and stars  I’d search the rebel bases and flying cars  And kill that woman who gave me that awful name 

Well, it was Human Gatlinburg in mid-July  And I’d just hit town and my throat was dry  I thought I’d stop and get a little tipsy

At an old dance club on an old back street  There with her rifle, shooting skeet  Stood the dirty, mangy dog that named me “Yiffy” 

Well, I knew that bitch was my own sweet ma  From a worn-out picture at my mother’s I’d saw  And I knew the ears on her head and her puppy eyes 

She was big and buff, but young and old  And I looked at her and my blood ran cold, and I said: “My name is Yiffany! Surprised to see me!? Now you gonna die!”  Yeah that’s what I told her! 

Well, I hit her hard, right between the eyes  And she went down, but to my surprise  Came up with a knife and cut off a chunk of my hair 

I busted a chair right across her teeth  And we crashed through the wall and into the street  Kicking and a’ gouging, sending mud and blood into the air 

I tell ya, I’ve fought tougher girls  But this one really took me for a whirl  She kicked like a mule and bit like a Rottweiler

Well, I heard her laugh and then I heard her cuss  She went for her gun, but I bit her hand first  She stood there lookin’ at me and I saw her smilin’ 

And she said, “kiddo, this world is rough  and if a kids gonna make it, theyve gotta be tough!!  and i know i wouldnt be there to help you along 

so i gave ya that name and i said goodbye  i knew youd have to get tough or die  and its that name that helped to make you strong” 

Yeah, she said, “now you just fought one hell of a fight  and i know you hate me, and you got the right  to kill me now, and i wouldnt blame you if you did, see? 

but ya ought to thank me, ‘fore i justly die  for the gravel in ya gut and the spit in ya eye  ‘cause im the son-of-a-bitch that named you ‘yiffy’!!” 

Yeah, what could I do? What could I do? 

I got all choked up and unclenched my fist  Called her my mom, and she called me her kid  And I came away from it feeling strong, but iffy

But I think about her, now and then  Every time I try and every time I win  And if I ever have a kid, I think I’m gonna name them......

IM FREAKING OUT STIL AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH