Today I was venting to Pif about something that came up for me in partial response to something else - a memory from the time when my gr*ndf*th*r died and the really fucked-up way my then-family treated me when that happened - and I like, recounted the details of the situation to Pif, and then we just kind of sat there for a moment, and then I was like, “wow, that’s like... really fucked up,” and he was like, “yup!” and I think that is maybe the first time I’ve really allowed myself to acknowledge that what happened in that specific situation was really, really fucked up. At the time I remember feeling nothing, just like, groping around for what I was maybe supposed to feel and finding only cold emptiness. It’s only looking back that I start to sort of feel actual emotions about it, and mainly the emotion that I feel about it, if this qualifies as an emotion, is “uh... YIKES”.

Tae: *Exists* Happiness: *Exists* CONICIDENCE?? I THINK NOT

since i got into the pokemon tcg live so much recently i bought a bunch of codes for it. each time u buy a real life booster pack, deck etc. you can get a code and then redeem them in the online game but the codes are basically worthless. people just prefer the physical cards i guess.. so i was able to get around 400 of them for £6 i've been opening about 10-20 booster packs a day for funsies, and been getting more than enough to build multiple competitive decks as well as get lots of pretty art + the game itself gives u loads of stuff for playing it, completing achievements, going up ranks in competitive etc. so its just been a blast completing the various sets and experimenting with decks anyway.... 400 physical booster packs is about £2000 ... lol

when you snap out of a several day long episode and realize how fucking insane you were being