#yeagh

forever biting things about near btw. What if you were 13 and got told the man whose identity you had to replace was already dead. what if that man didn’t even reach twice your age. What if you hated every second of it but there’s nothing else for you to do anyway. what if you have to do it alone. What if you have people surrounding you, people who you trust, who you never ever show that trust to because you don’t understand your emotions and you don’t want them anyway. What if the only other person who went through the exact same thing as you dies. what if he was only a year and a half older than you. what if you cant tell if it was a necessary sacrifice or if he just really wanted to die. What if you won despite and because of him. What if you didnt win, anything, at all, in any way. What if you were 27. What if you were wondering when it was your turn. What if you kept living.