#ycsp

There is a new program in town.  So new, that there is actually very little information on it, so I figure considering my daughter has been one of the 12 kids currently accepted in to the program, I will write about it and let people know.

YCSP - Youth Community Support Program.  This is a program specifically made for kids in the system that need prolonged care, and haven't had success being stabilized at any other program.

First, you start with assessments at ACH - Alberta Children's hospital.  After that, if you haven't stabilized and qualify, you can  potentially go towards ADTP - Adolescent Day Treatment Program.  This is a 3-4 month program aimed at helping kids 13 - 18 transition with support from a hospital situation to real life.  There are Board of Education teachers, and it runs the same way a school does except there are interactive therapy groups, private therapy, and psychiatrists.  There's also a nursing staff.  Kids are drug checked regularly, and there's a cook that makes breakfast and lunch for everyone there.  It fits 14 kids at a time, and generally doesn't run during the summer months - at least kids don't attend there during that time, but sometimes there is still private counseling available.  There is also the Eating Disorder Program that may be a good choice for some, but you can't attend both ADTP and the EDP - you have to choose one.

Previously, if all of these programs don't work, your child might just end up back at ACH, and then the process would start again.  Now, there is the new program.  12 kids can attend this program - 6 beds for those who aren't ready to stay at home yet, and 6 part time spots for kids who need regular weekly support.

We have been in the system for a full 8 months now.  First ACH, then an assessment for the Eating Disorder Program.  We ended up going to ADTP, and yesterday, we had our intake appointment for YCSP.  It took about 90 minutes to fill out forms, go through legal jargin, and learn what we needed to get started.

I guess I should be thrilled that my daughter has been one of the first accepted in to this program, and apparently there is a massive waiting list, so I know I should be grateful, but I'm having a really hard time with the whole thing.  We are in to our third set of psychiatrists, psychologists, counselors, nurses, and teachers, and frankly I just feel really exhausted and discouraged.  I feel bad for the people out there that have to wait to get in, because unlike other programs, there is no limit to how long you can be in this program, but there is a limit to how many youth can go.

There are so many things I haven't been able to say or share, so I know it would make more sense if I could, but getting in to everything again just makes me feel down.  When I came home from work today, I looked at her and apologized.  She looked at me with her big blue eyes, and said, "Why are you apologizing mom?"  I said to her, "I wish I could fix everything for you.  I wish I could give you your medication and everything would just melt away.  I wish I could erase the past and just create a new one.  I wish I could make things right. I wish we didn't have to go through all of this again. I'm just so sorry I can't fix all of this for you."  "I know mom.  I wish that could happen.  I hate interactive therapy.  I don't want to go to more groups.  I don't want any of this." "You know I can't keep you home, don't you?  You know I can't say it's over, because I don't think you're ready to be on your own yet.  I think you still need support."  :"Yes, I know."

It's hard to look at your child and not be able to fix things.  There comes a point, when a large part of her recovery is up to her, and only time can help mend that.  She has to get past what has happened and find a reason to thrive in the future.  To make things more difficult, the psychiatrist she has really bonded with will not be allowed to treat her anymore, and I just can't bring myself to tell her.  Tomorrow she will find that out, and I don't want to even be around for the after math of that conversation.  She will be so tremendously disappointed, and so am I.

YCSP will accept her for 2 days a week, and the other 5 will be up to me to keep her on track.  While school is still in, which is 3 more weeks, we will have 3 more days of the week taken care of.  For the rest of the summer, well, I'm not quite sure yet.  I will have 3 weeks of vacation I've spread out over the 2.5 months till school starts in the fall again, upon which time she will keep attending YCSP and her regular high school the other 3 days of the week.  As for the rest of the time, I'm not sure.  I will have work to deal with, and will have to juggle the rest.  Thank goodness my work is so understanding.

For now, as my daughter says to me, "Mom, let's save the worry for tomorrow".