the question comes as a surprise to him. though, looking back, he supposes he shouldâve expected it, especially when considering the delicate line they were on the fence of crossing, one between friendship and officially dating. Â ( Â the thought still makes him smile unconditionally each time, large and wide because it wasnât just a dream, renjun really said yes. )
â hmmm yeah, boyfriends. we are, arenât we ? i mean, if that is what you want with me  â  that being a relationship. â  he speaks slowly, giving renjun time to get his thoughts together. he understands  â  his confession could be seen as unexpected, out of the bloom even if one didnât know how long heâd played around with the idea, how long heâd questioned how the other would react, if only rejection was in store like his fears promised him. it still does though, feel like a dream.
he canât help but chuckle at the last part of his question nevertheless, Â warmth engulfing his heart as he reaches out to take renjunâs hand in his own and offer a gaze filed with sincerity and affection he was brimming to pamper him with. â well, only if you want to, darling. â
intertwining their fingers, he pulls him closer to him, just enough until one could question if they understood the gist of personal space, smile growing playful to hide the uncertainty he felt as he continues. â but i hope you do. â
   renjun feels guilty, for asking this much of yangyangâto love him even though his heart is longing for someone else. even if he doesnât know that, and renjun doesnât plan on letting him know.Â
   because renjun is selfish and hopes yangyang can help him forget.Â
   âof course i want that,â he laughs bashfully, hiding his blush behind a hand. the âLâ word threatens to leave his lips, but he holds it back because the voice in the back of his head is enjoying his lies too much. âyouâre already my b...boyfriend, arenât you?â the word comes out funny, but he laughs it off, wondering why his face feels so hot.
   it feels natural when yangyang takes his hand and renjun wonders if heâs done this before, showered anyone else with this much love. they mustâve deserved it more than him.Â
   and when heâs pulled closer, renjun canât help but shrink back just the slightest, his breath taken away by the sheer intimacy heâs so unused to. his gaze drops from his boyfriendâs face to his chest, resting his forehead on yangyangâs shoulder. âi do,â he hopes his voice is heard, his desire to be loved. please hold me. âi want you to...â