#yales

I was showing a picture of a rhino with two horns to my preschool class when it hit me:  THAT IS A YALE.  It looks like the water-horse BUT it has two horns.  Except when it doesn’t.  Where is the other horn(s)?   Oh it just swung that horn around the other direction so you cant see it.

Nothing says historical science like totally arbitrary value judgments, so now that we know what yales are, it’s time to get evaluating!

Lack of tusks keeps this yale from being a top contender, but it is demonstrating a classic horn rotation technique. Safe, but boring. 6/10

Shifty. Not entirely sure this isn’t just a wildebeest with prosthetics. 3/10

These yales are so clearly gearing up for a twin swap and/or mistaken identity based comedy of errors that it feels wrong to separate them. Their horns may be too long to be practical, but they’re having fun, and I love the snoot on the bottom one. 8/10

Every time I make these lists there’s at least one animal that looks like it’s actively trying to die of scurvy. This particular specimen has never voluntarily consumed water and will crumble away to dust if a butterfly so much as flaps its wings nearby. 2/10

Despite not having hair or glasses, this yale gives the impression that it’ll let its mane down and get contacts just in time for the big dance. There’s a less than zero chance of it singing a wistful ballad with the help of that bird. 7/10

A scoundrel & a ruffian. Bonus points for being the only entrant smart enough to scratch its own back. 5.5/10

The artist has forgotten to give this yale horns, but it does have two different kinds of feet. 10/10, I would pay to see it run.

Crashes on your couch, eats all the apples in your house & your neighbours’ houses, keeps pausing netflix to explain why its own spec script is better. Has been banned from open mic nights in 5 different cities.  4/10

Look, I can’t possibly evaluate this objectively. All I know is that I love it, and I’m so excited for my new life where it follows me wherever I go, filling the shadows with the sound of creaking ice and leaving debris from long forgotten shipwrecks on my doorstep. 1͉̙̟̒̒̚̚͜00̢̗̳̐̇̔͗͜0͇̥͛͋0̛̪̪̅00̨͉̫͆̽̃͛͜0̛̹̫̔ /10