#reading toa

"fortunately our healers in the Apollo cabin were able to reattach Paolo's arms." Ex- excuse me? No, no, no. No. They're having a three-legged death race. And they've done it before. A boy lost both his arms and they still want to do it again. Chiron, no. Don't do this. Not even to satisfy the overeager eight year old. I cannot begin to express how bad of an idea this is. I also cannot begin to express how excited I am to see this happen and for this to become a regular camp thing.

"Paolo understands English okay, but he only speaks Portuguese." Paolo's like me! :))) I can understand some Cantonese, but forget it if you want me to speak it back to you. I just can't remember the words. It also comes as a surprise that the gods can't naturally speak all languages.

"You're staring." "I am merely assessing how well Paolo's arms are functioning after surgery." My beloved Portuguese ex-amputee. I am immediately very attached to this character. Will knows where it's at.

"It also expands our understanding of the Labyrinth." THE FUCKING LABYRINTH??? YESYESYESYESYESYES. We have it confirmed, folks! The Labyrinth is fully revived: a sentient beast that now, with Daedalus and Pasiphaë gone, answers to no master! Well, no master except Harley the sadistic eight year old boy who is deliberately making the maze even deadlier.

"Doesn't feel so evil. Not quite as deadly." So naturally, you brought in Harley the mad scientist to make up for that!

"Thank you, Sherman. It's good to know you won't be giving the god of archery a swirly." It's probably for the best. I think that would've broken him.

Okay, a lot just happened. Peaches is here to save Meg from being dunked, the loyal good boy he is. I feel sorry for Connor's hair, but he probably deserves it considering his pranking history. Anyway, I see Meg and I are on the same page. Magic weapon rings are where it's at and so are curved swords. This also basically confirms it. Meg is a Roman demigod -- and clearly one that has been trained before, too.

The angst! The drama! The crowd bays for blood!

I've figured out why Apollo feels more human than Percy. IT'S BECAUSE HIS NARRATION SOUNDS EXACTLY LIKE MY ANXIETY. That's what it is.

"I wished I had a doctor's note." Will is literally your son. I'm sure he'd give you a doctor's note if you asked politely. Does falling from heaven and being reduced to a shell of your former self count as an injury?

"Clarisse La Rue I could at least charm with my dazzling smile." *doubt*

"From here I could work my way up to scaring farm animals, then demigods, monsters, and minor deities." Nooohohooo he puts farm animals above satyrs!

"Suddenly, my fingers spasmed. I dropped the guitar in surprise." So, Apollo experiences on-and-off bursts where his powers come back, but they're temporary. This is definitely made purely for moments when Rick Riordan needs him to win a battle despite the odds being impossible.

"Chiara huffed. 'Idiota! Now I'll never get my turn!'" Damien and Chiara have a really cute dynamic. I ship it and I've known them for only three and a half pages.

"African nymphs Athena used to hang out with at Lake Tritonis." I looked up this lake only to find out that it either doesn't exist anymore or never existed at all :C

I love that the Victor twins are such advocates of "practice makes perfect" rather than just being good at everything. Idk why I expected that, but I'm pleasantly surprised.

"And, yes, of course it's possible for a demigod child to spring from [a homosexual] relationship." So... we're all asking the same question, right? Do they have belly buttons?

"I swear upon the River Styx--until I am a god again, I will not use a bow or a musical instrument!" Uhmmmmmm. So. Bad choice. And. I've seen the covers. Pretty sure he's got a bow and a quiver of arrows in at least one of them, so unless those are stage props, that oath ain't gonna last. How's he gonna fight? With a sword?

I got a glimpse of the "You villain!" and "Ssssstand assssside! . . . I will ssssswallow him whole!" on the next page and immediately thought they were talking about Apollo. My bad. It was Lityerses. Coulda been either of them at this point, though.

"'I thought you--' His welding visor fell shut, making the rest of his sentence unintelligible." Lmao

"You have to wonder about your chances in combat when even your dead friends are worried about dying." Oh yeah, I forgot Brieanna's already dead. And even he thinks they should flee? Yeesh, things are not looking up. Eh, they'll be fine.

"But I hear much talk about us and them." Jamie! We're about to die! I think we can spare a little "us and them" talk.

"Hunter Kowalski brandished her screwdriver. 'Not likely.'" Death by screwdriver.

"Commodus won't leave this net alive." I hope he doesn't die in this book. Shouldn't the final battle in the final book have all three Triumvirate members there? I know it's called The Tower of Nero, but everyone should be there, right?

"They have ìgboyà." Yoruba for courage/bravery. "I would have to purchase some ìgboyà as soon as possible." Yeah, Apollo does need a little ìgboyà to strengthen his bones.

"the Hunters of Artemis had to clean the cow pens" Maybe Emmie and Jo are still salty about having to leave the Hunters.

"brothers named Deacon and Stan" I'm sorry, Stan? Ok. "IV drips of nectar." First of all. Do we know their godly parents? Second of all. I didn't know you could inject nectar directly into your blood. Isn't that supposed to be food? I don't see anyone ingesting soup via bloodstream.

"a few dozen mortal mercenaries, about the same number of demigods from the Imperial Household, a few hundred assorted cynocephali and other monsters, plus the usual hordes of blemmyae" *toaster oven dings* How many Hunters do we have?

"Leo, stop." Let him cope, Calypso! Y'all're about to die. Let him let off some steam, both figuratively and maybe literally.

"Also I should mention the giant bronze dragon in the corner" Oh, yeah. So maybe things aren't as bleak as they seem.

"what about your magic? Has it returned?" "This morning, I moved a coffee cup across the counter." clap clap clap

"I would have made popcorn and watched the bloodbath from a distance on Mount Olympus, or simply caught the highlight reel later." I wonder if that was supposed to sound as demented as it did. "But as Lester I felt obliged to defend these people" Is it because he's Lester or because he's seeing this stuff happen firsthand and in the middle of the fray? If it's because he's Lester, then once he regains his powers, will he no longer feel these things?

"not-so-little Georgina" I reiterate: are we sure she's not half Germani? Apollo could've gotten with a Germani person and had a kid. 'Cause Georgina's giant.

"bounce it off his nonexistent head." As a ghost, do you not have all your body parts if you died without them? Like, you'd think that he'd have his head reattached once he became a spirit, but no. Maybe only if they're in the Underworld. But he'd at least, like, carry his head around or keep it in his inventory or something, no? Guess not.

"if you value your anatomy" is such an amazing threat.

"(She loves those dramatic entrances. She is such and anime-character wannabe.)" You know what? I bet Britomartis got her love of dramatic entrances from being around Artemis.

"instead he produced a tin of breath mints" I think his belt also responds to his emotions. Whenever he's stressed or scared, especially in potentially dangerous situations, the belt always gives him breath mints like it's panicking just as much as he is.

"You must be minor." You're one to talk, Calypso. Even when you were a god, you were only the goddess of one little island in the middle of nowhere. "And he's not my rescuer . . . Although he is short and scruffy." She needs to show more appreciation to the person who rescued her from eternal imprisonment.

"The goddess gave me that coquettish smile that I hated so much" COQUETTISH (adj.): behaving in such a way as to suggest a playful sexual attraction; flirtatious Britomartis, that is your superior's brother!

"A bear trap snapped shut, ripping through stuffing and fabric like an upholstery sharknado." WTF "'Well, isn't this nice?' 'No,' the three of us chorused." I'm loving this. "Bouncing Betty" LOL that nickname's gonna stick.

"Weak mortal flesh! Even weaker than divine flesh!" Considering every myth, I highly doubt that. Apollo's shown more restraint and common sense as a mortal than he ever did as a god. "Well, I never actually said he was waiting for you in the middle of that minefield. I just let you assume." WTF BRITOMARTIS! And Apollo! Common sense! "I don't sit on their eggs and hatch them." "You convinced me to do that once" I don't think Apollo is going to have to swallow madness to go insane. He already is.

"You'd look wonderful as a northern crested newt."

"Oh, the injustice! . . . I would never again send a poor mortal on a quest. Unless it was really important. And unless I was sure the mortal could handle it. And unless I was pressed for time... or I just really didn't feel like doing it myself." Did I just witness character development and character undevelopment in a single paragraph?

"he plans to rechristen Indianapolis." I was like, What are they naming? A baby? An exotic pet? A building? No, silly! They're renaming the whole city! :D

"Death by explosion was starting to sound like a kinder fate than Briotmartis's quest." He's such a drama king.

"Don't fail me, mortals!" Okay, that was a personal insult.

"How can you mortals live in such tiny places? Where is your pride?" Apollo, it's called poverty. It's also called NYC-will-charge-a-million-bucks-for-two-square-feet-of-living-space. Dude is very out of touch.

"Sacred Sibyl! Madam, there is something wrong with your midsection!" Wow, I knew he was out of touch, but not THAT out of touch. Then again, this is the same guy who thought every apartment should have a landing deck for flying chariots. Still, ain't he the god of medicine?

Apollo says he should have lunch with his mom, Leto, when he gets back to Olympus. Didn't one of the Titans in Tartarus in House of Hades say something like "I wonder if Leto is still reforming"? Well, I guess she's been done for a while now.

"Sally cupped her hand under Meg's chin. Thankfully, Meg did not bite her." Now, that is a fun mental image. banana peel gremlin

At least Apollo still gets fast healing. The Icarus shirt tho...

"my usual motivational speech in the mirror" Apollo's always had self-esteem issues since even before he fell out of the sky, hasn't he?

"Gaea had duped one of my progeny, a boy named Octavian" So we get confirmation! Octavian was manipulated by Gaea! Doesn't excuse everything he did, but it does explain why he was so intent on believing that Gaea's awakening was a trick by the Greeks. Gaea didn't want him to focus on the more important enemy.

Lol Percy passes out for six months courtesy of Hera, Apollo passes out for six months courtesy of Zeus. Sounds about right.