#wthwolves

“Follow me and do what? Make me feel like shit all the time?” For things well within her control, for things she chooses to do to herself and others.  

Spirit feels herself self destructing — feels it like you know your bad habits and guilty pleasures. If fucking things up was like biting your nails, she’d be down to the nail bed. 

          she spies him across the room. keeping to himself, mostly, unlike the rest of the attendees; families and friends mingling, her professor holding court by the wine and cheese. she waits for him to come up to her, and when he doesn’t, ellie goes to find him. 

60 for mistletoe !

     𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐧'𝐭 𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐢𝐝𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐝𝐬 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐬𝐚𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲'𝐝 𝐝𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐭𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 , 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐛𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 . it hits him , this realization , when he has andrew tugging on his jeans leg asking heugh to hoist him up in order to place a few pine cones on the mantlepiece just as josephine is smoothly rounding him from behind to toe her way towards where she last left her glass of wine --- somewhere on the stack of boxes roman tells her that still housed the generational decorations, still kicking and just as liable to scintillate the same as they had when heugh's grandmother was a bright - curled girl . she's grimacing when she looks over at him , mouthing a sorry --- heugh couldn't claim to be bothered by it much . it's nice to see the house this full . it's bittersweet right where it ought to be . that's just fine , too .      there are children underfoot in the kitchen , heugh hollers for them to take it into the backyard so he can get two feet on the tile as he tries to get the last preparations of their late supper together with neil taking upon himself to be his echo , ushering the shrieking and chattering gaggle towards the lit up porch where du-ho and bernie are discussing the recent local election and the impending recall on the results . briefly in the interlude between the then and now as the glass door hisses open heugh can hear isaac mentioning something about the turn out , how disappointing it'd been , how he'd expected more from the city . he sounds impassioned . heugh huffs out a little thing , tickled pink by the rising crescendos and mutters of their bickering , squinting into the oven as he allows the jovial exchange to carry through him until it's cut short once the door's closed right on bernie's barking laughter . they sound drunk .

     it's later in the evening , the children sleep soundly , and the sink is ripe with the helter skelter of unwashed dishes not a soul that's taken to the living room can bring themselves to think about , their bellies full and the few bottles of wine someone or someone else had brought already spilling the last of their offerings into the deep bowls of their glasses cradled impassively within loose clutching fingers . the glance heugh's sparing towards the steaming pan laying propped against the steel lip of the sink is the most that's been afforded since the sun had first begun to sleepily lay itself along the mountainside at the moon's crescent call as he lets the ripe grape drink burble into his cup , not noticing eric's wiggling glass stem until he's nearly ran into it . heugh fills it , might as well since the bottle's encroaching upon empty     ---     throwing out a thank you to bernie who's busy sliding herself into neil's lap as they chatter on about the latest infraction on a mechanical charge for her car , barely giving him a minute of her time if it meant she had to tear herself away from the conversation , unaware and unconcerned with how it seems to be her selection that's won the night over .      josephine's the first to notice it after a beat or two had passed since heugh had taken to resting against the oaken threshold of the archway bordering the kitchen from his living room adjacent to where roman perched his shoulder upon the same frame --- a melodic laugh leaving her that catches roman's attention before it does heugh , too invested in trying to pick up someplace sensible the middle of bernie's ranting for him to try and leap back in . when she does come to lay claim to it , it flits from her to roman , busy looking up to where she's pointing somewhere towards his ceiling --- and the green bushel that's been tacked at the top of the doorway . roman looks mortified . what a liar heugh'd be if he'd said he didn't feel the same splash of cold water come crashing down into his belly , if only for a moment . of course there came trailing after the discovery some light teasing , as if they’d been slungshot back into their adolescence , having a bit of unpermitted fun with the parent’s liquor cabinet while they were away . surprisingly josephine doesn't look too bothered , if not a bit ruddy in her apple'd cheeks just the same from where she sits languorous in the deep sink of heugh's armchair . why would she be ? it’s just teasing .        heugh’s asking if he can . roman tells him that yes , he can     ---     and it’s an almost effortless thing to take that one step nearer towards him in order to see that he’s pressing a kiss softly to roman’s cheek , warm , and bristling from the wire of his beard as it catches lightly long lighter stubble . the rest of their company lets out a lukewarm salutation , and just like that , forgets them as quickly as they’d come to take interest in the moment . ain’t that just the way , heugh laughs , sure that roman can smell the tobacco - wine on the draw back , the aging smell of the wood smoke that had belched out from the fire pit on his shirt collar from when he’d put it out just as heugh’s sure the rest of them do . ain’t that just the way ?       “     you need more wine ?     “     he asks , roman nods looking as though he’s stuck trying to swallow down an eight ball and on the verge of choking on it when heugh’s large hand claps him on the shoulder once , twice .     “     yea , me too .     “  

   the offer - the request that felt less and less like an ask and more like an order with every passing second - had come through this morning. it’s been all you can think about; you haven’t spoken to izzy about it, your normal go-to, mostly because you think you know what her answer would be. you contemplated calling roman but the two of you haven’t been on the best of terms lately, especially since steven’s latest antics.