#writetofeel

Around and around and around in my head. They beg “please take the pill” but I’d rather be dead. Swing up and swing down as I lay in my bed - suffocating beneath the elephant on my chest.

They say we’ve all had it and they know how it feels to wake up and break down; they know how life steals the breathe from your two lungs and steps from your feet.

It’ll beat you and bruise you ‘till you claim defeat.

Around and around and around in my head. They beg “please the the pill” but I’d rather be dead. Swing up and swing down as I lay in my bed - suffocating beneath the elephant on my chest.

“Just hang in there honey, you can do this - we know. We’ve seen you pull through it 3 full times, now 4.”

But what you don’t see it I’ll never be well.

I’ll just live in a heartache and wake up in hell.

Around and around and around in my head. They beg “please take the pill” but I’d rather be dead. Swing up and swing down as I lay in my bed - suffocating beneath the elephant on my chest.

Finally I’m gone now, it looks like they see.

My pain has been dealt with - have mercy on me.

The waking and breaking has come to an end. The heartache washed over, no more money needs spent - on relieving the fire I walked on all day.

My soul is free now, no more must I pay.

I came to see you in the garden, for I’d never felt so alone.

To smell the daffodils and roses and sense how simply they’d grown.

With the walls around me climbing, up and up into the sky; It was there to thee I whispered “Will I see you when I die?”

Around I looked and searched again, not knowing you’d yet flown. For I came looking in the garden for a pebble or a stone. 

To place in my pocket still so empty.

Place in a hand, drenched with deep despair.

I came looking in the garden...for something I thought I remembered forgetting there.

But my timing was too casual and my feet not quick enough. The garden presented to me a muddied ground and dirtied muck.

So maybe I left too early or arrived a little bit too late.

Maybe the garden would have prospered if I’d cared enough about the state of the daffodils and roses I dreamt smelling with you near.

Bottoms up on the bottle, I’ll worry about my issues tomorrow.

The morning stretched out it’s arms to give me a warm hug. It’s not enough warmth for me anymore.

I long for an embrace to replace what i felt before. The hardest part isn’t searching;

My life is like an hourglass that's been thrown from your hand. It hits the floor, glass shards, my heart, now scattered in the sand.

For a while time stood still, enjoying the serenity we found. Minutes are now a burden, hearing each and every tick-tock sound.

I'm tirelessly taunted by memories that cause me to react. I'm endlessly haunted by your love, which you had to retract.

Sadness turns to bitter, bitter then turns to pain. Pain morphs into anger, an anger I can't refrain.