#wormmother

I've been on the internet for more than a decade it feels like a destructive place. I think I've fallen more into collaboration instead of pure self expression the past couple years and I think I need to step back from that. The music community online has shown me very little grace and I'm just happy I carved my own little circle of community and I should just keep it to that. Im always going to express myself on the internet and I'm happy I've created spaces where people feel comfortable being themselves and being weird and trans without consequences. Tbh creating a community of people that don't judge or get to wild was only possible due to all the real world shows I've done. I honestly value the material out and out real world music community that I've gotten to be apart of that uplifts me and makes me confident in my self expression. Recently I've put alot more stock into my live performances and have pushed them to a really insane level and I want to keep challenging audiences with my work and stop acting like such a heel. I want people to interact with me as less of a internet oddity and more as an actual artist. My past few projects I think played with trauma thats entirely to recent and hit to close to home but I'm hoping to be able to continue making work that challenges people.

I'm finding it hard to post because It occurs to me that I've become locally famous as a musician and content creator. It's terrifying because I think I'm unsure as to whether or not I'm terrible at monetizing my platform or are people just terrible at paying black trans in women what there owed